If You Don't Like Children: Why?

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Those parts sound like your talking about US politicians more than actual kids. I think the average preteen would be much more responsible & respectful than the average congressman.

I like kids, but I don't like some things commonly done by them. I hate it when I'm in a bus and there's a baby or toddler crying. I don't hate the baby/toddler, but I do hate the noise it's making, yet I realize that they can't control it and that the adult with it, usually a parent, is most likely doing their best at calming the kid down, so it wouldn't be fair to be mad at them, either. I hate it when a toddler/small child is singing or laughing really loudly in a bus, but I hate what the child is doing, not the child itself. On moments like this, I'm more mad at whatever caretaker that child has with it (since such small children don't travel alone) since it's their responsibility to make sure the child behaves. If the only way to make the child behave is to remind them of it every five minutes, do so. Kids can speak in the bus yes, but they have to be mindful of their volume. Same goes for adults and teenagers of course, and to be honest, when it comes to too much noise in a bus, the biggest problem are usually teenagers (though to be fair, I mostly use bus during rush hour. If I used it in the evening, the problem would probably be drunk adults.)

What kind of lecturing are we talking about? Personally, I tend to feel good when I see a child misbehaving and their parent (or whatever caretaker they have with them) stopping them and telling them why it's not okay in an even tone. To me, that's exactly what should be done, but some people might consider that as lecturing... so, if you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by lecturing?

I think what I had in mind when writing "lecturing" is shaming and other forms of making the child intentionally uncomfortable with speech.
Sure, reminding of proper behavior is the right thing to do but the manner of doing it is very important. I really prefer playful noise of children over angry or passive-agressive noise of adults.

It's OK for people to judge as long as they don't show it to the person they're judging. I would never hurt a child (emotionally or physically) but getting irritated or stressed when a child is screaming in a store isn't uncommon in adults, especially if you have sensory issues. As an Aspie/ADHD, a kid screaming is just another sound on the list of noises that aggravate our sensitive ears, along with car sirens, dogs barking and roaring engines. I shouldn't be feeling belittled for talking about sensory issues on an autism forum.

I don't understand people who have kids and hate kids.

I don't like every single stage of childhood so I stay away from little kids and teenagers as much as I can.

I find precocious 10 yos quite interesting to be around. They haven't yet lost their sense of wonder. They're open about their love of hobbies that NT society will drill out of them. They love the world.

But I can't just up and have a 10 yo - even if I adopted them they would sooner or later become a teenager - so I don't have kids.

My dad didn't like any stage of childhood apart from the odd day out. Moved country to avoid me. Had to be made to see me and then spoilt me because he had no idea of responsible parenting. It's a problem.

I get that for some people esp for women post-natal depression sets in but... see a doctor because it will affect the kid.

It's a noise sensitivity issue.

It's between that and incels that I have trouble with inter-autism interactions tbh. Most of the time I am great interacting with other autistic people but people who screech and scream and don't talk in normal volume grate on my sound sensitivity.

Including adults.

I have the issue with moderating my voice myself but I try to control it.

There are times and cultures that still practice "shotgun" weddings.  It is common for the parents to blame, despise, and even hate the child they produced because they "had to" get married, and openly refer to their mutual first-born as a "bastard".

Of course, any other children who come later are loved, nurtured, and raised with great expectations, while that first child gets blamed for all of the younger siblings' misbehavior.

I like babies and toddlers, but I find it hard to handle older children and teenagers. They're too developed and have too much ability to judge, so they make me just as uncomfortable as adults do. Babies and toddlers don't register as "human" as much yet, so they're fine though. lol

I'm fine around autistic kids though even if they're older kids or teenagers. I do find being around autistic toddlers hard because they scream a lot more, and if they have ADHD traits they are impossible to control. I should know, I was one of those uncontrollable, ADHD having autistic toddlers.

Some people wonder why those who hate kids have kids... well, I can think of several reasons:

They didn't want kids, but had an "accident." If a man doesn't want to keep a kid, he can't really do anything about it if his wife decides to go through with the pregnancy. He's tied to the kid unless he can prove that he's not the father, or at least that's what the law here says. Those not married have it easier, though I think they might still get forced to be a part of the child's life even if they don't want to. As for women, abortion isn't an option nearly for everyone for legal and in some cases medical reasons (I refuse to talk about religious reasons here 'cause this ain't PPR), and giving the child up for adoption isn't always possible either, especially if the father insists on keeping the child. There's also a possibility that the parents keep the child simply because they fear the stigma that could come from giving their child away or, despite not liking children, they might believe that they can still give the child a good enough life and don't want to risk it ending up being adopted by horrible parents. Also, not all women are able to notice in time for abortion that they're pregnant, especially if they've used protection and their periods have been very irregular anyway. Oh and about the stigma, in some cultures there's a stigma if one doesn't have children, so people can have them to stay out of trouble. It may not be exactly right, but people do many things to protect themselves. Also, some people start hating children only after having them. Especially in such a case, counseling is a good idea, but that stuff doesn't always help.

What exactly made you feel belittled?

Maybe belittled isn't the right word. Due to my s**t vocabulary skills I can't think of the right word. But ever since I posted in this thread I've felt like I've posted the wrong thing.

Perhaps you feel like others are putting words in your mouth so to speak I've had that problem a lot a times on other sites & some on this forum as well, especially in the L&D section. I'm not sure if that's how your feeling here thou, I'm just guessing.

I can bet a parent screaming at their kids draws more attention than them acting up. If the whole place is loud, I can bet people are too busy with themselves enjoying their time they may not even notice your kids are bickering or arguing at the table or even messing around. Then once the parent raises their voice at them, then everyone notices and all they see is the parent yelling at their kids when they never even noticed them before lol.

I get a feeling this is directed at me but if not, ignore what I say here.

I feel just because I don't tolerate misbehavior doens't mean I hate kids. It's a matter of teaching them. I also don't understand why my mom couldn't be more honest with me as a child. I remember her telling me a story when I was a teen that the reason why they added onto their house in Washington was because not only because it was too crowded it was because my mom would just get through cleaning the rug and vacuuming when i would come in with muddy or dirty boots and I said "why didn't you punish me then or make rules about taking my shoes off before stepping in the house?" Another rule my mom could have added is always come back in the house through the laundry room or garage and take my shoes off there.


I honestly think parents are too afraid of traumatizing their kids so they hide the truth from them or are too afraid of not letting them have a childhood. I mean come on, being honest with them and setting rules to make your life easier is not going to ruin their childhood and I do not think it would be too much for a four year old to learn to remove their shoes before coming in the house each time because it tracks in dirt and makes a mess everywhere.

Another thing I wish my mom was honest with me about was why she would get mad at me for wearing several pairs of underwear when I was six. I mean I had to be an adult to come up with a logical reason that maybe she didn't want to do more laundry, well gee my life would have been easier if she had just told me so. Because she never gave me a reason to not wear several pairs of underwear, I had a hard time not doing it until I got tired of it and bored with it. I mean she could have had me do some laundry with her so I would see how much work it is for her to do it or tell me "Beth, I do not like it when you wear more than one pairs of underwear at once because then I have more laundry to do then and I don't like to do laundry and folding clothes so please wear one underwear a day" and six year old me would have bought into that explanation because I wouldn't want to make more work for my mother. I would have understood then why she was getting upset with me and she wasn't being weird. She now had more laundry to do lol. I think this would have been much easier for her if she had told me the reason why she didn't like me wearing several pairs of panties and no, my childhood would not have been ruined.

I don't particularly like or dislike children collectively. Sometimes they're amusing though.

I remember some time ago I was at a furniture store and there was a father with his little daughter there, and the girl said to him, "When I grow up, I'll have one of these swivel chairs so I can go wheeeee! That's my dream." That's pure wisdom right there.

I don't remember any particular instances of children being annoying. It's just, like, what children do... So it's not noteworthy. They're completely safe to ignore, and therefore not a problem -- or not my problem at least...

Parents making a scene though, yeah, that's bad, and it makes me uncomfortable.

The OP thinks I don't like him even though I didn't even say that at all, so yeah he was putting words in my mouth. I hate when people do that.