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Jamesy
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28 Apr 2021, 10:16 am

When I was 18 I remember I was at a house party. One of my friends tried to get some girls to kiss me but they all said "no".

Do you think it's perfectly normal for them to say no to kissing me?



Last edited by Jamesy on 28 Apr 2021, 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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28 Apr 2021, 10:17 am

That was 13 years ago.  Why dwell on the unchangeable past?

As for your question, it is perfectly normal to refuse to kiss anyone.


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RightGalaxy
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28 Apr 2021, 8:16 pm

When I was a kid, a popular game at parties was "spin the bottle". You had to kiss the person across from you. The kid kissed me and I was traumatized for a decade. I attended his wedding. I approached the couple with a big gift. He was delighted, he put the gift aside and proceeded to give me a thank you kiss. I side-stepped him and gave the bride a big congratulatory hug. All was well. Nobody minded.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Apr 2021, 1:10 pm

Get a Smint.



kraftiekortie
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29 Apr 2021, 1:12 pm

Perfectly normal. These girls didn't know you; why would they want to kiss you?

I played "Spin the Bottle" a few times myself as a teenager.



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29 Apr 2021, 7:40 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Perfectly normal. These girls didn't know you; why would they want to kiss you?

I played "Spin the Bottle" a few times myself as a teenager.


OMG!! Did you like it. I hated it. Dreadful!



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29 Apr 2021, 7:41 pm

Fnord wrote:
That was 13 years ago.  Why dwell on the unchangeable past?

As for your question, it is perfectly normal to refuse to kiss anyone.


Fnord and Kraftiekortie are the most intelligent men to ever grace this planet. :)



kraftiekortie
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29 Apr 2021, 7:55 pm

It wasn’t my favorite thing to do — that’s for sure!



nick007
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29 Apr 2021, 10:18 pm

Were those girls kissing other guys? Were they drinking alcohol at that party? If the answer to both questions is Yes, I would guess they they did not find you attractive James but I would NOT base my attractiveness level on drunk women who will kiss every guy except me. In fact I would be very relived that she did not kiss me. I'm NOT into physical affection with anyone outside of a serious romantic relationship & I don't like kissing that much even with someone I majorly love thou I do love other physical affection within a romantic relationship.


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CockneyRebel
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29 Apr 2021, 11:04 pm

Why are you worried about things that happened to you in the past. You should be working on yourself so you will have a successful future with members of the opposite sex.


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idntonkw
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29 Apr 2021, 11:17 pm

Jamesy wrote:
When I was 18 I remember I was at a house party. One of my friends tried to get some girls to kiss me but they all said "no".

Do you think it's perfectly normal for them to say no to kissing me?


You were low value in that group, so they said no.

Outside of that group is you met a girl, she may be interested in you and want to kiss you.

The reason the guys said that, was because you were strange and not popular, and the guys were using you as a prop to make themselves look more dominant, which attracts NT women in such groups. I had this done to me by NT guys as well. When the NT guys were teasing and putting me down this way publicly, the girls weren't into me, but before and in other situations, the girls showed attraction to me. So don't worry, it's not so much you, but just these NT guys looking for anybody to use as a prop to make themselves look bad and dominant to the girls, which happens to sexually excite NT girls, they can't help it.



nick007
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29 Apr 2021, 11:45 pm

idntonkw wrote:
The reason the guys said that, was because you were strange and not popular, and the guys were using you as a prop to make themselves look more dominant, which attracts NT women in such groups. I had this done to me by NT guys as well. When the NT guys were teasing and putting me down this way publicly, the girls weren't into me, but before and in other situations, the girls showed attraction to me. So don't worry, it's not so much you, but just these NT guys looking for anybody to use as a prop to make themselves look bad and dominant to the girls, which happens to sexually excite NT girls, they can't help it.
I was thinking it might could be something like that but I didn't want to bring it up cuz I don't know for sure if that was what was going on(I s#ck with understanding social hierarchy) & if I was in James shoes I would feel worse knowing that a friend used me like that. Plus there's been LOTS of controversy on this forum over the years whenever somebody implies that some women are attracted to dominate jerks & I do not have the penitence or energy to get caught up in those sh!t-storms these days. I'm trying to learn to pick my battles so to speak.


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idntonkw
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30 Apr 2021, 4:07 am

nick007 wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
The reason the guys said that, was because you were strange and not popular, and the guys were using you as a prop to make themselves look more dominant, which attracts NT women in such groups. I had this done to me by NT guys as well. When the NT guys were teasing and putting me down this way publicly, the girls weren't into me, but before and in other situations, the girls showed attraction to me. So don't worry, it's not so much you, but just these NT guys looking for anybody to use as a prop to make themselves look bad and dominant to the girls, which happens to sexually excite NT girls, they can't help it.
I was thinking it might could be something like that but I didn't want to bring it up cuz I don't know for sure if that was what was going on(I s#ck with understanding social hierarchy) & if I was in James shoes I would feel worse knowing that a friend used me like that. Plus there's been LOTS of controversy on this forum over the years whenever somebody implies that some women are attracted to dominate jerks & I do not have the penitence or energy to get caught up in those sh!t-storms these days. I'm trying to learn to pick my battles so to speak.


Well, autistic women may not be, and even NT women may not be ready to admit that they get turned on by men doing bad and humiliating things to other men whom they find less attractive as a result, but I have been around NT women and have seen the phenomenon first hand many times, it is also seen in Bollywood movies where the main sexy character bullies his own weaker/chubbier/unattractive male friends and the women just take is a natural thing between a popular man and unpopular one.. i've seen dumb men do it to their friends, but socially aware men will not do it to their friends, but rather form a group where they all support each other up, but some guys who seemed nice also did this which shows their low character but maybe more so their lack of appreciation for the weak guy they are putting down in front of the girls, in fact, it's as old as history itself, maybe the friends actually meant to tease the guy in order to actually bring his value up by bringing attention to him and sexualize him, not sure, they might not be the worst friends especially if the oddness of the guy in question is so obvious that they might as well admit it publically



cyberdad
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30 Apr 2021, 4:41 am

NT girlies aren't going to kiss you unless they are drunk and you are very good looking and/or rich and/or famous.



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30 Apr 2021, 4:59 am

Yes it's called consent

I don't think it's very normal to go around asking to kiss every single girl though. Nobody is going to feel remotely special if you do that. Even one night stands want to feel sexy.

If you want a lust relationship: chase the sexy one.

If you want a love relationship: get to know someone first.


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FleaOfTheChill
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30 Apr 2021, 6:21 am

Of course it's perfectly normal for them to not want to kiss you. I find it bizarre that your friends would be asking random girls at a party to kiss you in the first place. If one of my kids told me that some people at a party were trying to get them to kiss one of their friends, I would ask them if they told the person asking to go to hell... That's a completely inappropriate thing to ask random people, though I understand that teenagers can be prone to boneheaded behavior like that...

Short of it, it's normal for them to say no, it's abnormal for your friend to be asking in the first place.