Those Who Have Dated Other People On The Spectrum:

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Where Did You Guys Meet?

I ask because I would prefer to date someone who is also on the spectrum(though I wouldn't mind dating an NT) and I have no idea where to look. Some additional dating advice would also be much appreciated

I've dated four spectrumites....

First one I met via a mutual friend who introduced us.

Second, third, and fourth: I met on online dating sites.

I've also made a number of spectrumite friends over the years.... many of my friends from art and writing and gaming groups were on the spectrum.

Edit: I just noticed you're seventeen! Even if you don't end up enrolling in college, check out the "clubs" that meet on campus, you can usually hang out and meet people there (as long as you're around the same ages, like 18-23).

When I was in college, we had tons of clubs we could join. I was in a number of music clubs, and religion-based clubs. We also had a group who hung out in the cafeteria and watched anime together on their laptops, and another group that just hung out outside and played hacky sack..... so hopefully there is something (no matter how odd) that you can enjoy and meet like minded individuals!

My son met his girlfriend at work. They didn't date right away, and originally weren't planning to ever date. They worked together, and really valued the friendship they were developing, so early on they took the idea of dating off the table. In many ways that was really smart, because it gave them time to talk about anything and everything and learn quite a lot about each other's quirks, including the ones people try to hide from someone they are dating. Eventually they each left the job where they had met and each started to realize there were a lot more feelings there than just friendship. Eventually they managed to share their growing attraction and decide to date.

I see pros and cons in having two people on the spectrum date, personally, but since it isn't my relationship I've tried not to think too hard about the pros and cons. She is delightful and, well, none of it is my decision. I work hard to not influence any of it for them either way.

I think my son's life was always going to put others who are on the spectrum into his path. His hobbies and career draw together people full of traits common among those on the spectrum, although not a high percentage of women (his work and his hobbies are probably both 90% male). Still, he has twice now dated women who were simply part of his world. It is good that, despite the odds, he seems to be able to find relationships organically.

I think being a positive presence in places you go and things you do increases the odds that simply living your life will allow you to meet someone to date, including potential ASD partners. My son tends to move forward open to what life throws at him and with a smile on his face. The people in his sphere seem drawn to that.

The 3 girlfriends I've had were on the spectrum or had a bit of overlapping issues. I met all 3 of them on online forums. The 1st was not on the spectrum but she had sever dyslexia, ADHD, & a little OCD & I have those things as well. We met on a forum for an interest we both shared & we quickly became best friends. I met my 2nd & current girlfriend here on WP. My current may not be quite on the spectrum but she has lots of overlapping things. I know some other Aspie couples have met on this forum as well. However I do think the odds are fairly low for a guy meeting a fellow women on here & dating & getting in a relationship. It is good not to limit yourself to only women on the spectrum. Some Aspie guys do have good relationships with NT women. What worked for me I guess was a combo of things. I posted quite aLOT on here. I made lots of post about being single, what I wanted in a partner, the way I am within a romantic relationship, & what I think my strengths are within a relationship. I was also very willing to relocate, I felt trapped living with my parents. I was here a while before I got my 2nd relationship thou.