ADHD/BPD potential misdiagnosis

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So I have been diagnosed with ASD at age 30. It made perfect sense. I've done a lot of reading on ASD and everything fits. However, I also have an ADHD and BPD diagnosis, and like many other women on the spectrum, I fear that I have been misdiagnosed.

I was diagnosed with ADHD before autism purely because I can be quite excitable and hyper but I am not sure if the diagnosis is correct. I tried Ritalin and it just made me anxious and not able to sleep - surely it's supposed to have the opposite effect on ADHDers? I do have some traits of ADHD but not sure if I have enough for a diagnosis.

I also have a preliminary diagnosis of BPD. Before my autism diagnosis, back in the days when I used to drink and pretend to be neurotypical, people have decided to label me as a borderline (I guess it's the classic "crazy b***h" label). It's led to a lot of problems for me, me being ostracised from social groups, and people being warned to stay away from me. Gods forbid a woman has angry or shows emotions!

I have heard that it's quite common for autistic women to be misdiagnosed with BPD... has anyone else been misdiagnosed with it?

Good on you for looking into it.

I haven't had such a diagnosis but I've had to learn a bit about BPD.

I hardly have to suggest that you keep exploring ASD, surely you'll find some helpful stuff there.

I've seen a lot of those stories about misdiagnosis as well.

I recommend considering it from a standpoint of usefulness.

If the asd diagnosis opens up ideas and approaches that make a positive difference in your life, significantly more so than BPD, that's meaningful.

What you might need most is a clinician with a skilled & focused practice in ASD, and also the confidence to address this question of the old preliminary diagnosis of BPD. I recommend looking for such among clinical psychologists.

Yeah I haven't had much luck. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ASD just said "your autism is very mild, I'm sure you could get a job if you wanted to" and dismissed me. I have had countless talking therapy... one therapist said to me that I "don't look autistic" (! !); my current therapist is mostly pretty good, but he has told me that I'm smart enough to make the "extra steps" to be like the neurotypicals. He also said that autism is "extremely rare" in women, lol... They obviously don't know anything about autism.

I have a zoom interview next week with a local autism non-profit organisation, I'll ask them if they can hook me up with a psychologist/therapist who is knowledgeable on ASD.

I've heard that BPD is a common misdiagnosis amongst autistic women.
Apparently, autistic women and girls tend to have more obvious emotional regulation issues than males. Could be exacerbated by hormone cycles, I suppose?
Yet emotional regulation issues are not even considered in the diagnosis (like autistics don't have meltdowns?), go figure.

I'm not sure if autistic women have more obvious emotional regulation issues than males; it's just society sees male meltdowns as funny and comedic and "boys will be boys", whereas women who have emotional regulation issues or meltdowns get the "OMG CRAZY b***h" reaction. Random people started labelling me as borderline (who have no background or knowledge of psychology) before I got my ASD diagnosis.