Disturbed by animals dying

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OK, please don't say I lack empathy for humans. I don't, I just feel a different sort of empathy to humans than to animals, probably because I'm a human myself. But with animals, I have this sort of empathy that makes me feel anxious, stressed and even terrorised.

Please note this is not another empathy thread, it's a thread about animals.


About 10 years ago my cat had a mouse in her mouth that was still alive, and I still feel bad to this day that I didn't rescue the mouse. Instead I just put the cat outside with the mouse still in her mouth.
But, speaking of my cat, she lived to be 20 years old but got ill and had to be put down. It made me sad, because although she was weak, boney and had some other health problems, she still might have not wanted to die, as whatever old-age illness she got she still seemed to survive it, like she wanted to keep living on.
I also think it's cruel for pet-owners to have to pay to get their pet put down. Must be the worse payment ever to have come out of our wages. It should be free.
Also I panic when I see baby animals in the pet shop because I worry about who will buy them. What if people buy them but don't take care of them? Or even abuse them? The thought haunts me and makes me just want to melt down in terror.
And I get upset about animals getting eaten alive by other animals in the wild. It must be awful to be ripped and eaten alive. Why can't all animals be vegetarians and eat plants and trees? Or why can't animals instinctively hunt for dead animals only, that had recently died from old age?
I also can't kill bugs. I'd rather get stung by a wasp than to kill a wasp! And I hate it when people put poison down for mice and rats. Isn't there anything that can just deter rodents from entering their home? Why kill? And it isn't a nice death for them, it's painful enough to make them squeak loudly.
And what makes humans so much more important than the lives of animals? One time two wolves escaped from the zoo and were roaming the streets, and they had to be shot, as in killed. Humans are destroying our planet, wolves have been around before humans, the wolves should have at least been tranquilized so that they can return safely back to the zoo alive.

It's causing me to feel depressed and even traumatized, and I think I'm heading towards vegetarianism even though I love meat. I at least don't like eating meat if it is in a recognisable shape of what the animal looked like or if it has bones in. I just can't bear it. I know they're dead and don't know any better, but even so it still disturbs me.

Will I become mentally ill because of these thoughts and feelings about the lack of animal rights that is going on all over the world beyond my control?

I have compassion for all living things, animals and humans alike.

I have even felt sad over killing a spider and am not convinced that some plants can't feel some kind of pain either.

I am shocked by things like shark finning but also shocked over how humans can also be so creul to each other.

It all upsets me.

I don’t like it, either.

I sometimes wonder how it would feel if I were in constant danger of being stomped upon.

A few years ago there was a huge spider in my bedroom on the floor, but because I have a phobia of spiders and it was past midnight, I just put a glass over it and decided to deal with it in the morning, because I didn't want to wake anyone up. But then I thought what if the spider somehow wasn't in the glass the next morning, which would mean it would be lurking in my room somewhere? So I had no choice but to lift the glass up and squash the spider with the rim.

And to this day I'm still traumatized by what I did. I just imagine all its internal organs working healthily then suddenly along someone comes and destroys it. I wish I could remove these thoughts from my mind. I can't bear it.

There are some accounts (heck there's a very popular account about it) of autistics having stronger empathic ability towards animals and other things than in humans.

... And I'm not one of these kind of people.
But I know those who actually are.



I don't know... I simply do not subscribe to the same views and sentiments about life, living and living things.
I know the value of life, but so is reality of nature and how humans defies it.

So I trust everyone else to sympathize, share the same sentiments and advocacy.



Whether you're an atheist or someone of any religous belief, had you ever buried said animal/s?
Back to the earth from where we all came from?

It can be gross, but it can put some ease over some person's mind when rituals are involved.

Unless you got drastic different views about burials no thanks to horror zombie genres.
Or your squimish-ness is stronger than the idea about the loss of life.



Regardless.
Don't be afraid to cry about it.

As far as I know, it won't drive a person mentally ill. Not really.
More like more worried than merely worried for another's behalf.


Outraged or sad, perhaps. Traumatized and disturbed, sure.
In some cases, until one is too tired for it. Yes, like doctors and nurses, it can happen to vets as well.

But not broken, defiled, or driven mad -- no.
Worry or mourning out of compassion or sympathy don't simply do that.
But guilt can do that. Helplessness can do that, too. Guilt just can do it faster.

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I think it's because are cute and can be helpless if they're being attacked by a bigger animal or a human.

I'm a human myself so I know how other humans feel and how we deal with survival.

Animals are different and I don't know how they feel cognitively. Animals are unable to think in words like humans can.

It would ease my mind if I knew that all animals die of fright when they're caught by predators, before feeling too much pain.

These unsettling thoughts might also be caused by my anxiety about death. I have no religion or religious beliefs so I don't believe in heaven or hell. But my mind can't comprehend death. People say it's like sleeping but it still doesn't convince me. When I'm sleeping I often dream or I'm sleeping lightly and semi-conscious or I sometimes even wake up on and off. Being dead is more nothingness and it's hard to imagine.

I have a high level of empathy for animals, too. I also become very upset when I see pets in pet shops. It's not just because they're usually not taken care of well at those shops, but I get worried that the people who adopt them wont know how to take care of them well. I think the hamsters people get their kids and the Habitrail cages they commonly put them in is a good example.

Something else that irritates me regarding this topic is the fact I see people make fun of others who have died trying to save an animal, like they're stupid for doing so. I personally think that animals and humans are equal, and that an animal's life is worth just as much as a human's life. It's fine if other people don't think they'd risk their lives to save an animal, but the fact people will mock someone who's done that and act like caring for other animals that much is stupid seems so heartless to me.

I cannot comprehend how anyone could possibly not be upset by animals dying. Of course, I’m the “weirdo” who stops to move worms off of the sidewalk so they don’t dry out or get stepped on. If I can do anything to help any living thing, I do. And I also do not understand the superiority complex most humans have about their species.