I feel helpless

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I am struggling with exams and they're kind of making my mental illness act up. What is not helping is a previous psychiatrist appointment I had that stirred everything up and where I got told I have traits of BPD, a hard mental illness to treat and I could not know if I have the full disorder until I am older. When I become stressed I believe weird things and become self destructive and currently it is driving me to cut myself on my face. I've cut previously but not deeply and they are scars now and it seems to have fascinated my mental illness which has become obsessed with inflicting scars on myself. I'm terrified because it feels like I repeatedly slip in and out of feeling emotion and being in what feels like a trance where I become numb. I feel helpless and like I'm doomed to cut myself in the morning on my face and I don't want to get scarred there. I'm terrified.

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you have, or can find, some means of calming yourself down, at least for now.

Yes, BPD is said to be very hard. Are you familiar with something called "Dialectical Behavior Therapy" (DBT)? (If you've had DBT, has it helped you at all?)

maybe see if a family member can come with you to the doctors and to your school/college/university .

with backing from the doctor , you may be able to get an extention on your deadlines .

this should take the pressure off , and allow you time to remedy your current situation .

Sorry to hear this, Iv. Colleges & Universities will definitely give you more time to hand in assignments and assist where “Extenuating Circumstances” such as Mental Health, Migraines, Personal Problems(including bereavement etc) exist. The following UK site shows examples of how Exams and Study considerations are supported here...
http://bristol.ac.uk/science/media/files/extcircs-faqs.pdf

They do need to be given enough notice in order to assist though. My son is at a London Uni and recently had some issues but left it too late to ask permission for “Extenuating Circumstances”(Lockdown has been having an impact on the mental health of many students). He wound up cramming and came out of it okay, but had been in a bad way.

As Mona mentioned, DBT is known to be a very effective treatment for BPD. Your mental health should be the primary concern here, above all else at this point in time.

Info Re Teens and BPD:
https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/what-teens-want-know-about-borderline-personality-disorder

Cutting is habit forming. It can also lead to more problems later in life. In fact, the S.A.F.E. Alternatives (Self Abuse Finally Ends) treatment program describes cutting as 'ultimately a dangerous and futile coping strategy which interferes with intimacy, productivity, and happiness.' https://selfinjury.com/

“How Can I Stop Cutting?”
(Great strategies on this site)
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html

UK Self Injury Sites ...
UK Helpline & Support Site: https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/self-injury-and-self-harm/
https://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/
UK “Harmless” Support Site for those who Self Harm:
https://harmless.org.uk/

The aim is that you replace thoughts of cutting with healthier alternatives. The sooner, the better, as the longer it goes on, the harder to break the habit. Please don’t hold back from telling someone who can help you to deal with this. Far better to hold onto ice, than to cut.

When you have the idea to self-injure, start by trying the ideas on those lists — such as making art, walking your dog, or going for run.

If they don't help, move on to the substitute behaviours.
These substitute behaviors won't work for everyone. They also don't help people get in touch with why they are cutting. What they do is provide immediate relief in a way that doesn't involve cutting, and therefore holds less risk of harm..

*rub an ice cube on your skin instead of cutting it
*wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it gently against your skin
*draw on the skin with a soft-tipped red pen in the place you might usually cut

Don’t suffer in silence, Iv. You deserve support and professional advice on this. X