Were your parents immigrants?
Dear_one
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For the purpose of this thread, everything counts (because I like hearing your family stories!)
(For understanding if immigrant status has a connection to autism, I think we would be interested in parents, and possibly maternal grandmothers - but this is hardly a scientific study!)
A question for you: In the US, does being descended from someone on the Mayflower have a status to it? Do you get bragging rights, like if an English person were descended from Henry VIII or similar?
Among some people, Mayflower descent, or descent from people who fought on the American side in the Revolutionary War, do indeed confer a certain status. Others don't care about it, or at most they think "Well, isn't that special," in the tone of voice of Dana Carvey's church lady from Saturday Night Live sketches from several decades back. (Youtube search it, if you really want to know). The fact is, millions of people can claim those descents, so that dilutes its meaning considerably.
But I did grow up with certain standards and ideals, even though I hardly ever went to church after age 15 or so (and it would have been a Protestant church, at that). And I didn't know where those standards came from. I thought other people had an ethnicity like "we're Polish" or "we're Jewish" or "we're Italian," while I only had "we're American." Once I started researching my family tree, I realized I had some amazingly accomplished, determined, courageous people in my ancestry. How this filtered down to today was, in part, I understood where my feeling of "never accomplished enough" came from in my family of origin, as well as modesty in tooting one's own horn, doing good deeds, or being generous. An example is, you never talk about money. You don't talk about how much the catering at your wedding cost, or even the cost of the dress, and if you mentioned an award you won, you were probably bragging. You don't ask other people how much they earn (so it was always hard to compare salaries) and you don't mention your own salary. The modesty probably derived from some Quaker stock. ("Pride goeth before a fall." "Handsome is as handsome does.") The work ethic and charity ethic probably came from Calvinism, as well as the sense that any accomplishments you had really shouldn't be bragged of.
I noticed people from other ethnicities didn't share the same code of conduct! A woman I just met (she was Jewish) told me how much the catering at her wedding cost, per guest. Friends of mine (Slovakian) bragged about their IQ, which I was told never to do. Etc.
I guess you might want to know how this upbringing relates to neurodiversity. Well, I think most of my family excepting my mother is on the spectrum, but we've been pretty high functioning all the same. My self-esteem has always been lower than my abilities and accomplishments would merit, but I chalk that up to interactions with peers during public school, ostracism, and a late start with puberty and romantic activities.
That doesn't mean everyone with old American ancestry has the same traits or is neurodiverse.
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Dear_one
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That's not the story I heard. The Pilgrims were religious dissenters, moved first to Holland, but felt it was a different culture, so they moved to North America. They weren't exactly banished. Now, those who were transported to Australia were indeed "banished." Also, Canada and parts of the USA owe much to tacksmen, a class of people in the UK who didn't inherit as firstborns and thus sought better opportunity in the New World - but voluntarily.
Anyway, enough about me.
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Dear_one
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That was a bit tongue in cheek, but there was a range in between being made to feel unwelcome and being forced out. There was at least one ship sent to the west coast of Canada full of particularly attractive prostitutes, sentenced to transportation not for their crimes, but in hopes of persuading the loggers not to marry native women.
BeaArthur: Could be Scandinavian.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Jante
/Mats
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Dear_one
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That law code must be wonderful for minimizing conflict, but in rejecting excellence, it may explain another puzzling fact. After the last ice age, the residents of the most southern peninsulas became islanders, and these small, isolated populations forgot how to make fire.
But I did grow up with certain standards and ideals, even though I hardly ever went to church after age 15 or so (and it would have been a Protestant church, at that). And I didn't know where those standards came from. I thought other people had an ethnicity like "we're Polish" or "we're Jewish" or "we're Italian," while I only had "we're American." Once I started researching my family tree, I realized I had some amazingly accomplished, determined, courageous people in my ancestry. How this filtered down to today was, in part, I understood where my feeling of "never accomplished enough" came from in my family of origin, as well as modesty in tooting one's own horn, doing good deeds, or being generous. An example is, you never talk about money. You don't talk about how much the catering at your wedding cost, or even the cost of the dress, and if you mentioned an award you won, you were probably bragging. You don't ask other people how much they earn (so it was always hard to compare salaries) and you don't mention your own salary. The modesty probably derived from some Quaker stock. ("Pride goeth before a fall." "Handsome is as handsome does.") The work ethic and charity ethic probably came from Calvinism, as well as the sense that any accomplishments you had really shouldn't be bragged of.
I noticed people from other ethnicities didn't share the same code of conduct! A woman I just met (she was Jewish) told me how much the catering at her wedding cost, per guest. Friends of mine (Slovakian) bragged about their IQ, which I was told never to do. Etc.
I guess you might want to know how this upbringing relates to neurodiversity. Well, I think most of my family excepting my mother is on the spectrum, but we've been pretty high functioning all the same. My self-esteem has always been lower than my abilities and accomplishments would merit, but I chalk that up to interactions with peers during public school, ostracism, and a late start with puberty and romantic activities.
That doesn't mean everyone with old American ancestry has the same traits or is neurodiverse.
Yeah, it used to be that americans were happy enough with THAT designation, rather than saying where they came from. Today, some people make a distinction even when they have no clue of the meaning.
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