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cberg
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15 May 2021, 3:03 pm

I'm probably not the only guy fed up with constant thoughts of not meeting some gigantic set of criteria nobody ever explained fully. I no longer really want attention from anyone, the whole English speaking culture is one of misinformed judgements & comparing apples to oranges.

Creeps. Females please delete your Facebooks.

Almost nobody knows how to do what I can for a living & I'm secure in that. I don't need pompous shows of confidence, I need people to accept my honesty. Leave me alone because I'm not OK with any of this, not because you just think I want attention. I may be no good with people but that doesn't mean that I can't or won't do anything for you. Leave me alone if you're not looking for anything more though.

Am I giving up on people? Are people trying to convince me to?

Women in this culture usually just act above me & try to mess with me on the basis of being a geek.

It's lame because software told all of you to behave like that.


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15 May 2021, 3:09 pm

The only sure way to get people to leave you alone is to avoid all contact with people.


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cberg
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15 May 2021, 3:18 pm

I guess I'm working on it, but I need a truck first just to set that house up. Trucks are expensive & I'm a serial intern who just moved to contracting. It's not like I don't want to build a welcoming place but easy access is not a priority.

There's a lot more economics involved in my kind of decision making than most other people's lives, because most other people expect me to constantly wrench on their technology or... else.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not even sure I know or care what lonely even means anymore. We all decided I didn't deserve to know anything else so it's kind of moot.

My whole life, my back's been against a wall nobody can even define.


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cberg
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15 May 2021, 3:28 pm

Why would I want a relationship with anyone who's present on behalf of app companies to data mine me?

I have a lot of data privacy concerns that directly relate to my livelihood anyway.

I'm looking to be refuted here because I'd really like to be wrong.

Ultimately we live in a greed-based society though & I'll only be dating those who recognize what I'm doing is for everyone.


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cberg
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15 May 2021, 5:37 pm

Ultimately I'm wondering if my feelings on any of this have any personal relevance to anyone else. Does anyone even have any context?

Of course not. :doh:

Technology was never meant to be used as a means of predetermined social interaction. It beeps & blinks, not much more, seriously.


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cberg
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15 May 2021, 5:52 pm

I see so many threads here about people expecting easy interactions & perfect lives with each other. I'm a lot closer to living on my own terms by myself, but that's only because I make a point of not judging others over their own personal nature. Fnord was right about that.

This thread is not about some blanket statement on my tendency toward isolation, it's about the reasons why.

I don't want to live in a breakneck-paced online social advertising platform of a world but billions of you have given me no choice. Gee, thanks.

I would be lying to you if I said I had the leftover energy for relationships after trying to fully consider this scenario. It's a pretty sketchy world when there are significant parts of my life I just can't talk about with anyone anymore. Ultimately the vast majority of everyone has proven that they care more about Instagram or something.


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15 May 2021, 5:58 pm

If I had easy answers I would be able to give you advice or say the right thing to help at the right time, but I am not really very good like that. I tend to try to find others who are good in that way.

I hope all goes well though. I want everything to go good for you.



cberg
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15 May 2021, 6:08 pm

Thanks MG, I don't even know where this is all coming from if I'm honest but something had to be said. L&D is too negative & I need to shake it off. People are insanely demanding & they drop their manners at the drop of a hat when you're not living up to their ideals of masculinity.

I just don't care to understand this tendency talk to me intermittently & drop me like a hot potato repeatedly. It's demeaning & exhausting. I don't care to explain to women why I'm like this anymore because I don't see feminism as respecting the feminine side of guys even remotely.

I can't tell anyone on this planet my life story. I no longer believe any living human to be respectful towards it.


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-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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15 May 2021, 6:14 pm

:shrug: IDK if mods should move this to LGBT or one of the adult sections. Truthfully there isn't a category for it. There is no floor underneath a conversation when I start it.

I'm not one to burn bridges, I only wish they never existed in the first place so we could all feel like there's something to build.

Even I don't care how hard my life has been anymore, I just don't know anything else anyway. People tell me to basically repress everything about myself to get by & I'm f*****g done man. When I move into those mountains I'm going to be pretty damn hard to find alright.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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15 May 2021, 6:21 pm

FFS let us be humans & stop forcing me to network, I am not your router nor am I going to fix your router. At most I will say where to buy a good cheap one.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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15 May 2021, 6:38 pm

Don't get me wrong, women have every right to say they want one thing & date entirely another. I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't hurt to watch anymore though.

I'm a good guy who screws up the same way anybody else does & I'm within my rights to say that people are failing on our obligations to respect one another.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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15 May 2021, 10:53 pm

Now that I think about it, I put this thread up because people are kind of scaring me lately. Every experience of mine seems to have me stuck in my house freaked out about what I might screw up next by the standards of a world gone mad, I'm definitely working on it but it takes focus & a lot of alone time thinking.

FWIW I kind of hope I really am the only one dealing with this.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2021, 1:02 am

cberg wrote:
:shrug: IDK if mods should move this to LGBT or one of the adult sections. Truthfully there isn't a category for it. There is no floor underneath a conversation when I start it.

I'm not one to burn bridges, I only wish they never existed in the first place so we could all feel like there's something to build.

Even I don't care how hard my life has been anymore, I just don't know anything else anyway. People tell me to basically repress everything about myself to get by & I'm f*****g done man. When I move into those mountains I'm going to be pretty damn hard to find alright.



They would move it to cberg category.


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DW_a_mom
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16 May 2021, 1:33 am

I'm not sure if I correctly relate to anything you wrote. At times I thought maybe I understood, but maybe not. In the general sense that the relationships among the humans of this planet are not currently what they should be, I'd have to agree. Technology has messed with our heads quite a bit, and so has this pandemic. And all that ignores the bizarre state of politics ...

I do have empathy for anyone who is hurting, although I don't have the ability to fix much for anyone. But it never stops me from trying. Because sometimes an effort hits gold.

A few thoughts, that may or may not have a place in this conversation, but are the ones that came into my mind as I read:

How you interpret the thoughts and intentions of others is probably incorrect. That is true for anyone; all people attribute thoughts to others that say more about the person creating the attribution than the person they are trying to understand. I don't see what you see in the people around us, as a general whole. Each person is unique. Most people can't connect effectively with most other people. We, as humans, create all these layers and mythologies and social expectations in the effort to find those magical connections, and some are more talented at it than others, with more success. But the real people, the real desires and intentions and thoughts, remain something you can only know when they choose to explicitly share it. Which people rarely do. So instead of seeing the human population through a negative lens, see it more through a "don't have a clue" lens. A "don't have a clue and it doesn't matter" lens.

I think it works for someone to approach the world from the assumption that they aren't going to understand the people they come into contact with. First, assuming those around us are unknowable removes the tendency to assume, which can cause unnecessary problems. When we need to know something from someone else, or need to interact, ask directly (but kindly). Second, it best to not give a @*#^@&^[email protected]* what anyone else thinks of you. Conforming to expectations can be a losing game, as can allowing someone else to decide your self-worth, especially since what any of us extrapolate of what someone else thinks is probably wrong. We should be the selves that we want to be, the person we, ourselves, think has value, whether or not others can see it.

I get the sense you care far too much about what others think, and spend too much energy trying to figure other people out. You say you don't care but then express concepts that indicate you do actually care. It is hard to learn how to not care, but I honestly have more and better relationships now that I don't. Odd how that happened.

People confuse not caring what others think with dropping social niceties. That isn't what I mean. I mean follow the generic social rules of being patient, kind, positive and polite, but don't let yourself internalize any perceived meaning from other people's method of interacting, or not interacting, with you.

Remember that no one actually needs a relationship to be their whole, best self. People don't need to hide from the world, either. People should live their lives and chase all the unproductive thoughts about other people out of their minds.

Maybe someday a random person they can actually connect with will come in contact with their life, maybe not. It shouldn't be a goal. It should be something a person is open to and willing to embrace if they are fortunate enough for it to happen. Far too many people form toxic relationships because they are afraid to be alone. Not every couple is happy; it can be an illusion to believe everyone else has someone you don't.

We've all had far too much time alone with our own thoughts this past year for our own good. We need to get out of our heads and out of the negative cycles isolation has created. I don't believe we need friends or relationships to do that; we need physical SPACE. Changing scenery. Changing situations. We should use our minds for ventures we enjoy, developing ideas that fascinate us, etc. Not for worrying about what anyone else thinks.

Anyway. I'm not on this board often enough to remember details about individual posters, so I've not used any history or anything beyond this thread as a starting point. Simply thoughts triggered by the thread that may be completely tangential or random. Take or don't take from it what you will. What I do want is for you to find what you are looking for in your life, whatever that is.


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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 16 May 2021, 1:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

idntonkw
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16 May 2021, 1:35 am

cberg wrote:
I'm probably not the only guy fed up with constant thoughts of not meeting some gigantic set of criteria nobody ever explained fully. I no longer really want attention from anyone, the whole English speaking culture is one of misinformed judgements & comparing apples to oranges.

Creeps. Females please delete your Facebooks.

Almost nobody knows how to do what I can for a living & I'm secure in that. I don't need pompous shows of confidence, I need people to accept my honesty. Leave me alone because I'm not OK with any of this, not because you just think I want attention. I may be no good with people but that doesn't mean that I can't or won't do anything for you. Leave me alone if you're not looking for anything more though.

Am I giving up on people? Are people trying to convince me to?

Women in this culture usually just act above me & try to mess with me on the basis of being a geek.

It's lame because software told all of you to behave like that.


They act above you because their social understanding of conversation, thought, emotion, behavior and cultural norms is way above yours, so they see that they understand stuff you don't and also they are looking for men who are good socially, and when they see one who is not - they look down on him like a child and don't respect him. NT people are judgmental about people who are not smart socially. They just are. It's just natural. It's like you look at a car, and you see it is a slow car, not a sports car, and you are into sports cars only and so you move along. That's how many women are. They want men, but they are only interested in men who are good socially, and they don't even see the ones who are not as men.

You probably prefer a pretty and attractive and nice woman? Nobody can blame you. Same way the women prefer a socially good man, and we should not blame them either.



cberg
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16 May 2021, 1:41 am

Oh I fully blame myself, whatever. I'm sick of that social darwinism narrative. This is mostly just some BS in our heads.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen: