Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Technic1
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 2 Apr 2021
Posts: 417
Location: Universe

16 May 2021, 3:17 am

Please tell me what nice things you have done...how nice are you?

I swear I used to be nicer than Jesus as I would have sent so few people to hell...?



Peta
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2019
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 172
Location: Pixie Hollow

16 May 2021, 3:54 am

People say I am to nice for my own good



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,364
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

16 May 2021, 7:00 am

I'm not nice.
I'm just holding back over specific obligations like 'do not make people cry'. Or dancing around in specific personal incompetencies.


Otherwise, I wouldn't care. I'd be civil. I'd be mischievous. I'd be violent.
I'd be generous if I feel like it and if I could.
And will honor a lot of things more for someone else than for myself.


People perceives me as being too nice. Not my intention. Not an image I wanna paint to others.
But I'll just have to get by with what I receive. :twisted:


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


AngryJackal97
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 70
Location: The planet Amun

16 May 2021, 7:18 am

I’m a nice person... that is until someone decides to make as angry as a Cobra, then I’ll do whatever it takes to hurt that persons feelings when they decide to hurt me. Besides that, I try to be a nice person when I can. As long as I can be happy, being nice is no problem.



timf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,040

16 May 2021, 7:45 am

The origin of the word "nice" is to be without thought. The idea was that one cannot be offensive is one is incapable of having a thought to share.

Angry Jackal97 has an interesting point. In a world where there are wolves, one needs to be able to be both stern as well as welcoming.

Over 50 years ago people would get in arguments over politics and religion. This was not so admirable by itself, but was rather reflective of a time when truth and right were considered most important. Today this seems archaic and the highest value people have is feeling good. As a result "niceness" have a greater social value in that it is less likely to make someone feel bad.

To correct a previous statement, Jesus was not about being nice, he was about truth. Truth can make a lot of people angry (as demonstrated when they killed him).



QuantumChemist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,910
Location: Midwest

16 May 2021, 8:51 am

I joke with my students that I am on Santa’s permanent naughty list. But, there is some truth to that I was more than just ornery as a child. Not many people can say that they earned lifetime bans from both a youth camp and a public pool for stuff they did there. In my defense, I was just getting even with bullies. There were innocents that got involved when they should have stayed out of it. I am much more discreet when I get even now. I have learned to do it tactfully without raising a finger against someone.

Typically I am not malicious in what I do everyday. However I do have a dark side that I have to feed once in a while. It thirsts for knowledge that can be used for both offense and defense. That is part of my mad scientist mindset. You just never want to play there with me.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

16 May 2021, 9:49 am

Not nice. I always say, I'm going to hell when I die ... because that's where all my friends will be!

And yet ... I am nursing a spouse with Alzheimer's disease, and I spend hundreds of dollars on my pets when they need medical attention. I must have a decent bone in my body, somewhere.


_________________
A finger in every pie.


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

16 May 2021, 10:04 am

I'm nice, because I hate upsetting people. If I do upset someone, their feelings reflect on me and I spend weeks, months or even years feeling guilty about it. I don't like being thought of as a nasty person.

Obviously, it's normal for everybody to avoid saying certain things that can upset people. The way I see it though, that's OK. I'd rather people be respectful and civil than to hurt and upset me. What I don't know can't hurt me (except if people drop non-verbal hints that are hurtful). Sometimes I feel like saying things here but don't have the heart or the guts to because I hate upsetting people.

I once knew an NT woman who got upset at her boyfriend because his elderly mum didn't know who she was - because she had dementia. The boyfriend clearly explained to the girlfriend before meeting his mum that she has dementia, and the woman said she knew about dementia and what it is. But after meeting her she huffed "your mum didn't even know that I was your girlfriend! She should know that, whether she has dementia or not!" All I could see in this was the girlfriend thinking of herself and not being very understanding. The man split up with her in the end because she was just one of those entitled, self-centred people who didn't think much about what was going on in other people's minds and just expected everyone to be how she expects them to be.


_________________
Female


mohsart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2020
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 741
Location: Southern Sweden

16 May 2021, 3:21 pm

I'm nice at heart.
If I'm not nice it's unwittingly or towards people who's really not being nice.

/Mats


_________________
Interests: Comic books, Manga; most things to do with Handicraft, wood, textile, metal etc, modern materials; horror, true crime; languages, art, and history to an extent
Uninterests: All things about motors; celebrities; fashion; sports; career; stock market
Feel free to PM me!


HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,247

16 May 2021, 3:30 pm

People tell me I am nice. I don't really know what "nice" is supposed to mean. Some people are rude to me because they find my willingness to help people naive and annoying, so they pick on me.



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,137

16 May 2021, 6:43 pm

Hard to define the word "nice" with precision, so it's a tricky one for me to answer.

https://www.thefreedictionary.com/nice

Some disappointingly subjective terms there..........so I tried an online test for it, and as with all reductionist, forced-response tests, I soon started to feel that the results wouldn't be worth much. But I persevered because it was clear they weren't taking themselves too seriously, and because the questions themselves gave me some useful insights into the definition of "nice." Here's the link. Be warned, they show you the results briefly, then they shove an overlay onto the page to try to get you to take some more tests - close it and you see the results again, then they're back with the overlay in a jiffy......but after going through that annoyance thrice, I actually got enough time to copy the results.

https://www.quizony.com/how-nice-are-you/index.html

Here's what they said about me:

"You don't really care about being nice, you're only nice to those closest to you.
Nice is overrated, in your opinion. You're nice to those that you care about, but for others, you're not always quick to be friendly or inviting. You are one of those people that can be super nice to those people who you choose to let your guard down around, once they earn it."

Some truth in that, but I think it's under-rated my nice behaviour towards strangers and over-rated my nice behaviour towards my inner circle. I do care about being courteous, friendly, co-operative and helpful towards practically anybody as long as there's nothing about them I disapprove strongly of, or see as a threat. I don't go for putting myself last, but if I can help others without much cost to myself, I like to do that. And this "let your guard down" thing isn't as simple as that. I rarely let my guard down completely with anybody, but I don't think that interferes much with my treating them reasonably fairly.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

16 May 2021, 8:18 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I'm nice, because I hate upsetting people. If I do upset someone, their feelings reflect on me and I spend weeks, months or even years feeling guilty about it. I don't like being thought of as a nasty person.

Obviously, it's normal for everybody to avoid saying certain things that can upset people. The way I see it though, that's OK. I'd rather people be respectful and civil than to hurt and upset me. What I don't know can't hurt me (except if people drop non-verbal hints that are hurtful). Sometimes I feel like saying things here but don't have the heart or the guts to because I hate upsetting people.

I once knew an NT woman who got upset at her boyfriend because his elderly mum didn't know who she was - because she had dementia. The boyfriend clearly explained to the girlfriend before meeting his mum that she has dementia, and the woman said she knew about dementia and what it is. But after meeting her she huffed "your mum didn't even know that I was your girlfriend! She should know that, whether she has dementia or not!" All I could see in this was the girlfriend thinking of herself and not being very understanding. The man split up with her in the end because she was just one of those entitled, self-centred people who didn't think much about what was going on in other people's minds and just expected everyone to be how she expects them to be.


I always hate those kind of people. Thinking you can never not recognize your ex, even with face blindness or that people with dementia would never forget their loved ones or that you would not forget someone's pronouns after being told it once even if you have a bad memory or are autistic. Not everyone is passing for the gender they identify as so it's easy to forget if they are they he or her. And how often are we going to meet a trans person to have to write down their names and pronouns and check it every time in our notebook or on our phones before addressing them by pronoun? Even online I am bad at remember someone's gender I have to look at their profile each time so how am I going to remember someone is a cis who is a crossdresser or a trans person who is she or they? So I use they pronouns instead or refer them as "that person." Online I say "they" or "OP" or their username. At least those are gender neutral pronouns and no one will ever get offended and accuse me of transphobia.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


dragonsanddemons
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan

16 May 2021, 10:07 pm

Depends on your definition of “nice.” I go out of my way to avoid upsetting others, would much rather unpleasant things happen to me than to anyone else (I can’t recall ever having wished ill upon anyone or seeking any sort of revenge in my entire life), but I also have social phobia that prevents me from speaking (literally, as in, my vocal cords will not move no matter how hard I try to make them) if I try to initiate any sort of interaction, so I don’t do things that require that, but if I can help anyone silently, I will. But I also often don’t know what to do to help and/or am too afraid of making matters worse. And “cheery” is one of the last words anyone would use to describe me, I’m not at all uplifting.


_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 67,988
Location: Chez Quis

16 May 2021, 10:24 pm

That's a complicated question. I have a lot of empathy and I'd go out of my way to help most people, whether I know them or not. I almost always put other people first because of a genuine concern for people's wellbeing. I believe in acts of good will, charity, and philanthropy, and I try to do these anonymously for the good of others instead of personal promotion. I'm extremely loyal and I'll go to the ends of the earth for friends. If I love someone, it's forever.

That all sounds marvellous but I do have a very hard time expressing my emotions. I'm mute with people, even my own mother. This can make me be perceived as distant, or aloof. Most people don't know how much I love and care about them, or what I'm doing on their behalf, because I don't like to draw attention to myself. I guess you could say my actions speak louder than my words. If someone hurts my mother I'll go crazy to protect her, but I won't tell her. She likely wouldn't even know because I go mute and can barely even say hello to her. Likewise in many of my other relationships I appear to pull away because of alexithymia and mutism. I don't like spending a lot of time socialising and I don't like talking on the phone or doing video chats with friends. They must think that I don't care, but I do. I just don't act like others. My Autism plays a big part in this but also my trauma, anxiety, and acquired brain injuries (strokes). I'll love my friends completely but they don't always know the depth of my feelings. I wish I could express myself in more typical ways but I've never really known how.



Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,717
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

16 May 2021, 10:51 pm

If I see you backing your car towards a trailer, I will give you hand signals to guide the hook-up.
I have done a lot of volunteer work, but with limited human interaction.
I'm sure I've hurt people's feelings without even being aware of it.
I have shouted at children and old ladies when they were really screwing up.
I sometimes let people sleep on my couch if it is too cold for them to risk getting home, and even did one with a Covid risk.
I put a day's effort into Haloween, although I have no children.
I pick up litter.
I change tires for strangers.
I don't do revenge.



Technic1
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 2 Apr 2021
Posts: 417
Location: Universe

17 May 2021, 7:02 am

Mixed but mostly nice so far...!