need help replacing an unhealthy stim

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atticusphere
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17 May 2021, 1:05 pm

I use my smartphone to stim when I'm over/under stimulated, anxious, stressed, angry, basically any strong emotion (..which, let's be honest, most of my emotions feel very strong). it's really unhealthy and it's beginning to effect my relationships. has anyone else struggled with using their smartphone as a stim, and if so how did you replace that stim? in my experience, using squishies and fidget toys does not effectively replace the phone, and doing things like crosswords or sudoku or whatever just ignores the fact that I need something that doesn't require so much attention, let alone the fact that I cannot focus hard enough to do a dang puzzle when my emotions are everywhere. hence, phone use.

this is not a cell phone addiction, it is not a hobby. it is literally a stim to help my emotional state. any tips on emotional regulation or stims to help regulate would be greatly appreciated.



Mountain Goat
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17 May 2021, 8:39 pm

I am not sure how to help because I have never used a phone as a stim. I stim in other more subtle ways.

Hopefully someone will see this and respond.


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Joe90
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17 May 2021, 10:56 pm

What do you do on your phone? Do you play games, watch videos, or what?

I don't think it's actually that unhealthy. It's better than doing things like smoking, drinking or self-harming to stim.


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ThisTimelessMoment
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17 May 2021, 11:46 pm

NTs do this too.
Stimming is about regulating our state.
Addiction is also about regulating our state.
Stimming is generally some repetitive action that provides a distracting stimulation.
I don't see the phone being that. It's just an excuse to disengage from the world. Pretty much all mobile phone users do this to some degree. The phone is a very convenient tool for doing this.
It's fascinating to watch when one person in a group looks at their phone, generally the others do too.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 May 2021, 11:48 pm

What is stimulating about your phone? Is it the lights and colours (visual), the feel of the screen (tactile), talking to people and listening to music / podcasts (auditory), the emotional hit (endorphins), or the connectedness (emotional)?

Maybe a combination?

If it's something sensory, can you replicate it with any computer or does it have to be your phone?


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aquafelix
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18 May 2021, 5:15 am

What is unhealthy about it? Is it taking up a lot of time that causes you to leave other more important things undone.
Is it causing problems with your relationship who are wanting your attention?



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18 May 2021, 7:42 am

A stim can be either for pleasure or to reestablish a framework of less anxiety. The smart phone may be used for pleasure (like with porn) or for something like a game which can allow for a familiar mental structure to restore a framework of less anxiety.

If the problem is having become habituated to a pleasure source to reduce anxiety, the solution might be to work at establishing an alternative. You mentioned that games can be too taxing. One alternative is to recite a list of state capitals or the periodic table. A familiar routine can be helpful to create a sense of control and allow anxiety to dissipate.



naturalplastic
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18 May 2021, 4:07 pm

Like several above - I cant figure out what you mean by "using my smart phone as a stim".

Do you do something physical ...with the physical body of the phone itself (like scratch your nose with the corners of the phone)?

Or are you talking about doing something with the content that comes over your smart phone(like watching too much Utube , or porn, or celeb gossip, or hangout on WP too much)?



IsabellaLinton
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18 May 2021, 4:45 pm

In my opinion, it seems more like a restricted / repetitive behaviour, or a special interest, rather than a true stim. I'm not invalidating the OP but I think I'd label it differently.

Stims are related to sensory input with our five senses. I don't think of them as being intellectual. I'm no expert, but that's my understanding of the word stim. Maybe they do enjoy the sensory aspect of their phone? I'm not sure I understand.


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naturalplastic
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19 May 2021, 12:21 am

^
Yes. It must be.

The OP is worried that they escape into using some kind of content on the smart phone (gaming, or surfing the net, or like that) too much.

So its not a "stim". Stimming is doing something physical to, or with, one's own body.



atticusphere
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19 Aug 2021, 10:02 pm

I figured it out. It was the feeling of scrolling and tapping the screen was what was the most engaging and...pleasurable? The content doesn't matter at all. I found an object that has a similar texture to my phone's screen that has completely replaced it.

Thank you for the responses, they were quite insightful.