I hate myself im sorry im Autistic i self harm and self.

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I harm myself i was abused i think im the cause of all problems im white too so i should be ashemed of existing i there theres pc maybe dying should fix it.

well this comes off a little odd...but if you're really feeling suicidal I would certainly encourage you to not follow through with it and if you feel like your beyond that point, go to the hospital er and tell them you are thinking of suicide...you don't need to kill yourself.


That said literally no one thinks, white people should all kill themselves out of guilt unless they are a total lunatic so get that out of your head, because that's just stupid and certainly not a helpful mindset.

Well done for reaching out.

It sounds like you are dealing with some very serious issues. Do you have anyone you can go to for support? In person support, I mean. If not finding a suicide help phone number can really make a difference in a life or death situation. It has for me.

I have also been abused. It is possible to survive.

It is not possible for you to be the cause of all problems. This is a complex old world we live in. Generally problems have many and deep causes, often going back multiple generations. Unfortunately dying doesn't fix anything, it passes the pain on to someone else.

All feelings are temporary. Even within a serious depression, there are fluctuations. Whatever you are feeling now cannot stay like that forever, no matter how much it seems like it. Everything changes.

You definitely should not feel ashamed of existing. That's how others have wanted you to feel. You are worthy of existing by the simple fact that you do.

Good luck. I hope you manage to feel better soon.

Mods? Can this maybe be moved to the Haven?

Done. Next time, don't be afraid of reporting the topic - need to move a thread is a perfectly legitimate reason to use the Report button

OP: you're never responsible for things you have no way to control.
The excessive guilt you express is probably a result of your abusers having guilt-tripped you, likely many, many times. You probably internalised it - started guilt-tripping yourself because that's the pattern you learned - but it's still abuse, not reality. The reality is, there is most likely a lot of good in you

Hang in there.

Don’t listen to pc bs and think for yourself.

Cut that out of your life

While I don’t like my autism either that’s no reason to hate yourself maybe see if there’s any interests you can take up to occupy your time.

Are you in the US and have a cell phone?

If yes, text HOME to 741741.

All is ok. Things will be ok.