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aspieprincess123
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25 May 2021, 5:14 pm

It's wrong and i'm annoyed but I feel so jealous of my partner and his achievements.

I have a degree but only got a 2.2 and stuck in just a boring admin role.

My partner in comparison autistic like me plus with epilepsy is topping up his degree and is getting 80% on average in his assignments I couldn't even get higher than 60%.

Even though he only has a HND he works a complex and very well paid role he easily not even taking overtime into account earns double of what I get easily the wage difference is so massive he moved it all into joint finances purely cause he didn't want me feeling like I was worthless when we went out and he had money to spend and I did not.

I am proud of what he has done and I know how lucky I have to have him but why do I feel jealous as well almost like I envy his success and think I deserve the small level of success.

I don't want to feel jealous of him cause he works hard but when I look at what he's achieved and what I have it feels like I failed in my life.



Nades
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26 May 2021, 10:44 am

aspieprincess123 wrote:
It's wrong and i'm annoyed but I feel so jealous of my partner and his achievements.

I have a degree but only got a 2.2 and stuck in just a boring admin role.

My partner in comparison autistic like me plus with epilepsy is topping up his degree and is getting 80% on average in his assignments I couldn't even get higher than 60%.

Even though he only has a HND he works a complex and very well paid role he easily not even taking overtime into account earns double of what I get easily the wage difference is so massive he moved it all into joint finances purely cause he didn't want me feeling like I was worthless when we went out and he had money to spend and I did not.

I am proud of what he has done and I know how lucky I have to have him but why do I feel jealous as well almost like I envy his success and think I deserve the small level of success.

I don't want to feel jealous of him cause he works hard but when I look at what he's achieved and what I have it feels like I failed in my life.


This type of partnership is actually pretty common throughout the world. Nothing unusual about it or anything to be worried about.

It might be the type of role he is in being more practical and hands on I imagine? If so there might be surprisingly little stopping you from giving a shot at what he does or something similar? It might be something to consider.



shlaifu
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26 May 2021, 9:12 pm

The problem might be not with you or his success, but eith your "boring admin role".
It sounds like you, as a couple, are financially stable. Have you considered finding something less boring for yourself to do?


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aspieprincess123
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Joined: 16 Aug 2015
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Location: england

27 May 2021, 4:53 am

I am looking at trying for a more interesting job but was not getting anywhere.



cyberdad
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27 May 2021, 5:59 am

Boring admin is a stepping stone to more high level work, you are better of working on your own progression rather than trying to compare yourself with your partner.

A lot of company CEOs started their life pushing brooms and washing dishes.