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Interesting hypothesis. I never thought to connect the two. I wonder if there is any data. Correlation isn’t causation, and kids today also have increased access to good information (and bad information) on sex, pregnancy and birth control.

Update: I told her I wasn’t comfortable and she said “Okay, thank you for being up front and honest.” So it went really well.

Definitely it would require more number crunching to make it even a hypothesis but statistics show kids are starting that activity later and it's unlikely that teenage sex drives have changed, so the best explanation is a change in habits for expressing those drives. Whether it's porn, sexting, some other not-in-person method (or some combination), they're probably still getting off somehow.

At least it's a more reasonable premise that they are than that they're not getting off. If one wants to make that case they'll need something to support it.

Whatever answer you get I suspect this is going to be a really emotional and trying time for you and want to express my empathy and support.

Shared values and shared vision are such a huge part of making relationships work, yet also difficult to find. People can love each other and not be meant to be together; when that happens it can a difficult reality to face.

I’m like you in that what I accept and respect in the broader world are not necessarily things I can handle inside my own relationship. Our relationships need to be safe places despite the inevitable fights and disagreements. It’s how we get through them that often is the biggest tell on if a relationship is meant to be.

But I confess I am nervous for you and hope I didn’t steer you wrong, and only helped you find what was already inside you. I do wish you the best.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 10 Jun 2021, 5:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Phew!

It is SO important to be able to be honest with our partners. Tactfully, of course.

Be aware the conversation may have more legs to it. Understanding how you feel will also generate a longer thought process on her part. Be prepared.