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Brainiac42
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11 Jun 2021, 8:30 pm

My mom keeps calling me special when I do certain things, like I could smell her detergent and it was strong today, so I made a face when I hugged her. She called me “special”. She’s been doing that my entire life when I do things the wrong way, or during instances like above. What does she mean by this?



funeralxempire
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11 Jun 2021, 9:17 pm

Based on the context it's hard to be entirely certain. I doubt she's intending it as an insult or as a euphemism for one.

I would interpret as she's noticing things she considers unique or abnormal and use the tone of voice to judge if it's positive and appreciated or if it's frustrating in the moment.


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11 Jun 2021, 10:30 pm

Being someone who’s very familiar with the way you are I wouldn’t think it’s intended in a negative way probably just used to how you are. I generally wouldn’t take offence to such a comment if I’m comfortable with the person otherwise I likely would



Brainiac42
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11 Jun 2021, 11:51 pm

Yeah you’re right. I’m not sure why I’d think my mom would want to insult me.



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12 Jun 2021, 12:58 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Based on the context it's hard to be entirely certain. I doubt she's intending it as an insult or as a euphemism for one.

I would interpret as she's noticing things she considers unique or abnormal and use the tone of voice to judge if it's positive and appreciated or if it's frustrating in the moment.
Well said. I would consider the source to gauge. If somebody close to me who is usually nice & respectable to me were to use Special to describe me, I would consider it a positive. Whereas is somebody who I felt was mean to me & often critical of me were to use Special to describe me, I would consider it an insult. As a general rule I would consider the label Special coming from a loving & supportive parent or romantic partner to be a term of endearment. If it's coming from a parent or romantic partner who you have a very rocky relationship with & they are often annoyed or frustrated with you, I would have to use the context of the exact situation to guess. I'd bet you have a pretty good relationship with your mom Brainiac :D I think most who didn't have good relationships with their parents would automatically assume that Special was an insult when coming from their parents. I sure would anyways, me & my mom always had major problems getting along till I moved out. Thankfully my girlfriend likes a lot of my quirky behaviors, if she's not in a bad mood anyways. I like a lot of her quirky behaviors as well. She has a lot more than me though & sometimes I am annoyed &/or frustrated but I would NOT insult her or anything for it. The majority of the time they are cute, funny, &/or entertaining.


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12 Jun 2021, 7:16 am

I'm suddenly thinking of the Radiohead song Creep. Special can be a very good thing :arrow:

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so f#ckin' special




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12 Jun 2021, 10:26 am

I do not think it is an intentional insult. If find the term off putting myself. At a moment when you are calm tell her why you do not like it and why.


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