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IsabellaLinton
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13 Jun 2021, 5:15 pm

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I'm low in both areas.

I usually get about 13 on the other EQ test.



Joe90
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15 Jun 2021, 11:58 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
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I'm low in both areas.

I usually get about 13 on the other EQ test.


You seem OK at understanding people here. In fact you're very good. This is where I never actually get what empathy is supposed to mean, even the dictionary definition seems vague.


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nick007
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17 Jun 2021, 10:13 pm

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Your Empathizing Quotient is 19. Baron-Cohen (2003) suggests that this means "you have a lower than average ability for understanding how other people feel and responding appropriately".

Your Systemizing Quotient is 4. Baron-Cohen (2003) suggests that this means "you have a lower than average ability for analysing and exploring a system".
I am not surprised by these results. I think my Systemizing Quotient is very low cuz of my dyslexia & ADD & my slow mental processing speed. I majorly struggled with lots of classes in school as a result.

I notice my Empathizing Quotient is low which is expected but it's a bit higher than some others who posted in here. I feel bad for people & animals when they are suffering. I've been through some sh!t in my life & I felt better having somebody there for me. I want to be there for others & pay it forward so to speak but I often cant. I don't know how I can actually help since I have my own various issues & struggles & very little power in society. Friends would say I'm a good listener but I try to figure out ways to help them solve their issues instead of just telling them feel good stuff. I also know though that just being there for them can make a huge difference sometimes. Just talking about things & having somebody care can make people feel better sometimes or people need a distraction & to talk about & do other stuff to have some fun. Some of my major weaknesses are that I don't know how to make small talk & chitchat. I'm bad at picking up on tone of voice, facial expressions & nonverbal social gestures. I tend to be direct & straightforward & need others to be that way with me which can lead to communication issues & misunderstandings. Doing a lot of typing can get tiring fast. I'm also very introverted & used to doing my own thing. I took on a caretaking role in my 1st relationship & also in my current which is something I think lots of Aspies could majorly struggle with. I think a major plus is that my current girlfriend is not NT. She is probably on the spectrum or at least has LOTS of overlapping issues. We relate a lot & we are used to others & society at large thinking of us as burdens & neither of us wants to be a burden within relationships. Being there for each other makes us feel useful I guess. We also both did a bit of research on various mental stuff trying to figure ourselves out & how to cope & deal with things better.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Jun 2021, 10:52 pm

Joe90 wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Image

I'm low in both areas.

I usually get about 13 on the other EQ test.


You seem OK at understanding people here. In fact you're very good. This is where I never actually get what empathy is supposed to mean, even the dictionary definition seems vague.


Awww, thanks Joe. In my case it's much easier online because I like written words. I learn and think best by reading and writing. In real life with verbal conversations, nonverbal cues, body language, and my poor listening skills, I have a very hard time interpreting people. If someone in real life tells me how they feel I will be very empathetic, but I'm not a mindreader and I can't always deduce on my own how a person feels. Even though I feel tremendous empathy for people when they tell me how they feel, I'm terrible at expressing my compassion verbally. I tend to shut down. I might worry myself sick about the person but on the exterior I'll look expressionless and not be able to say much.

Regarding the systems questions on the test - I think I am very much a systemiser even though my score was low. The questions all seemed to be about electronics. I'm so befuddled by electronics I wouldn't read the information. I'd just trust someone to help me select the product and I'd call service if it didn't work. There are many other parts of my life where I study systems and patterns to an obsessive level but none of them were queried on the test. For example I can read and write complex knitting patterns which involve mathematics at a near-algebraic level. I can build things, create artwork to scale, giftwrap like a professional, organise 12 generations of a family tree systemically, manage my kids / pets' schedules like a drill sergeant, and I notice patterns in everything but my own life. I wish the test didn't rely on electronics and masculine stereotypes.



Joe90
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18 Jun 2021, 9:48 am

I suppose people are different online to what they are offline. I sometimes come across as a self-obsessed person here but actually offline I talk less about myself and show more interest in others (although I do express my feelings a lot too).


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IsabellaLinton
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18 Jun 2021, 9:52 am

Joe90 wrote:
I suppose people are different online to what they are offline. I sometimes come across as a self-obsessed person here but actually offline I talk less about myself and show more interest in others (although I do express my feelings a lot too).


Hugs. I don't see you as self-obsessed at all. You have anxiety so you ask for support -- that doesn't make you self-obsessed. You also have a lot of empathy for others and you're always around to help others.



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18 Jun 2021, 10:12 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I suppose people are different online to what they are offline. I sometimes come across as a self-obsessed person here but actually offline I talk less about myself and show more interest in others (although I do express my feelings a lot too).


Hugs. I don't see you as self-obsessed at all. You have anxiety so you ask for support -- that doesn't make you self-obsessed. You also have a lot of empathy for others and you're always around to help others.


A little off topic but, I’d like to add that I really like this forum and the support I see here. Although I’m not officially diagnosed I just relate so much to a lot of people on here, and really like this community.



Joe90
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18 Jun 2021, 4:40 pm

I think people on the spectrum have more empathy than we think.


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nick007
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18 Jun 2021, 10:30 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I think people on the spectrum have more empathy than we think.
I agree. We can express empathy differently than NTs. We tend to have various problems & issues due to living in a world that is not designed for us which can make it hard for us to be able to be there for others even if we majorly want to. There are some Aspies who really do not have much empathy but they are a minority & have other issues that are not common comorbids with autism.


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nick007
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28 Jun 2021, 12:09 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Regarding the systems questions on the test - I think I am very much a systemiser even though my score was low. The questions all seemed to be about electronics. I'm so befuddled by electronics I wouldn't read the information. I'd just trust someone to help me select the product and I'd call service if it didn't work. There are many other parts of my life where I study systems and patterns to an obsessive level but none of them were queried on the test. For example I can read and write complex knitting patterns which involve mathematics at a near-algebraic level. I can build things, create artwork to scale, giftwrap like a professional, organise 12 generations of a family tree systemically, manage my kids / pets' schedules like a drill sergeant, and I notice patterns in everything but my own life. I wish the test didn't rely on electronics and masculine stereotypes.
I'm horrible with patterns but I may be a bit better at systemizing than I scored on the quiz. I do have OCD & a bit of the traits for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder as well. I really like & even used to need routines, schedules, & predictability. I can be a bit of a perfectionist sometimes when playing RPG games like old-skewl Pokemon or Final Fantasy. I am very focused on my strategy & can redo battles MANY times over & over again trying to get a specif piece of equipment that is very rare or trying to level up all my characters evenly or trying to do something the exact way I want so it will be perfect. It can be very difficult for me to get started with tasks if I am not able to have a clear idea of all the steps involved & how to get to the end. Also my fear of making mistakes & screwing up can make it very difficult for me to get started with something, getting in trouble for screwing up a lot in the past did NOT help. I can be quite the strategist in a workplace setting 1ce I'm used to the typical routines & schedules & my teammates. If I'm working with somebody I like to know what they are doing & for them to know what I'm doing, I want us both to be on the same page & know where we both stand. I'm also somewhat of a workaholic in the workplace. I want to feel useful, needed, & productive. I worry if something important is going on when I'm off & I feel bad for not being there to help out if they are shorthanded. I don't like being late for things & can keep good tabs on the time & might be better than the average NT when not using a clock if I care & am focused on getting something done. Things can be very different for me in other environments & settings though. Doing my school work was very difficult for me because of my dyslexia & other learning issues. It was overwhelming for me. It can be very hard for me to motivate myself into doing things at home around the house because I just don't care as much or see a reason why it has to be done then. Tasks can take me a lot longer than most because of my perfectionism & various disabilities making things more challenging. I'd rather wait to do things till they cant really wait any longer & then I'd do it till it is all done. For example instead of washing dishes every day or so, I'd wait about a week until we are about out of clean dishes before washing them & then I'd spend 3 or 4 hours washing them with no breaks except to use the bathroom & drink water. 1ce i get started I want to keep working until the task is done.


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01 Jul 2021, 8:17 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I think people on the spectrum have more empathy than we think.


I agree.