Special interests as a coping mechanism?

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Lady Strange
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13 Jun 2021, 10:29 pm

I was replying to the other thread about special interests and keeping them secret or not, and it got me thinking of something I have pondered before. I wonder if special interests for us are kind of like a way to cope and feel happy and in control about something. I just was thinking because this past year in particular has been really rough for me (not just covid, other stuff too) and I went head first into a special interest that has lasted about a year, and I feel like it helped get me through. I didn't plan on it though, it just happened. Its funny cause I can't predict what the special interest will be, it just kind of happens and I get taken in with it and honestly it was probably the best thing that happened this past year. I noticed too when I was younger and struggling a lot special interests helped me get through those times too. I don't think though its exclusive to bad times, just seems to get more obsessed with it.



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13 Jun 2021, 10:35 pm

My special interests have helped me to get buy during the pandemic. There's no better satisfaction for me than painting a rock or a pot, or to knit something on a circular loom.


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ToughDiamond
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13 Jun 2021, 11:21 pm

For me they do seem to kind of decompress me, and take my mind off things that worry, depress or bore me. But there's very often a practical goal at the end of what I'm doing, so it's hard to know quite what drives them - desire for some result that will make my life better in the long run, relief and escape from feeling bad, exercise for my mind, or just strong interest for its own sake. It's probably a mixture.



HeroOfHyrule
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14 Jun 2021, 12:23 am

I use my special interests to cope a lot of the time, and have done that since I was a kid. Hyperfocusing on my special interests is probably the only time I don't feel anxiety or have to deal with intrusive thoughts.



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14 Jun 2021, 4:13 am

many of the things I have read about "special interests" points to your observation being true. Tony Attwood, for one has stated this idea, as have many other well known researchers on autism.

What better way to distract ourselves and comfort ourselves than to pay close attention to something that interests us or makes us feel enthusiastic, amused, etc.?
I always turn to my interests when I am tired of coping with things that are too hard or too upsetting. It gives me my own little sphere of exploration and discovery, and feelings of being competent in that small part of the world. If it is a healthy interest (not addictions, destructive, or harmful) I think this can only be good.


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14 Jun 2021, 7:05 am

Superman had his fortress of solitude. A special interest may also be a refuge.



Lady Strange
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14 Jun 2021, 6:53 pm

Yeah its like a zone where you can have control and be completely happy studying or doing just what you want.

I had a co-worker who referred to my apartment as my fortress of solitude lol. It is, I get kinda territorial over my space.



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15 Jun 2021, 2:12 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Hyperfocusing on my special interests is probably the only time I don't feel anxiety or have to deal with intrusive thoughts.

Unfortunately for me, a long time ago I learned to be wary of my special interests leading me too far away from everything else that I have to do. It's no doubt wise of me to be wary of them, but it takes away some of their cathartic effect. There's always this nagging voice telling me that I'll be good for nothing in the morning if I don't wind up the activities and go to bed, or that my bills won't get paid, the shopping won't get done, the tomato plants won't get watered in time, etc.



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15 Jun 2021, 8:31 am

Case study of me:
Sometimes when I wasn't doing so well I would curl up, and read and hug (as much as I could while still being able to read) my college textbooks on applied mechanics, manufacturing processes and kinematics, my favorite topics at school, even when my mind was too disarrayed to really study.

Sometime later when I was doing a whole lot worse, I had an extremely strong desire to isolate myself from everything and everyone and just learn academic stuff and write papers and books on science, math and philosophy for the rest of my life.

---

It's certainly an escape to a safe, familiar and highly distracting territory for me.
Also, I remember reading some papers on the efficacy of giving metal trauma victims a very distractable thing to focus on. It was very effective in reducing the effects of post traumatic stress.


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18 Jun 2021, 11:17 am

autisticelders wrote:
many of the things I have read about "special interests" points to your observation being true. Tony Attwood, for one has stated this idea, as have many other well known researchers on autism.

What better way to distract ourselves and comfort ourselves than to pay close attention to something that interests us or makes us feel enthusiastic, amused, etc.?
I always turn to my interests when I am tired of coping with things that are too hard or too upsetting. It gives me my own little sphere of exploration and discovery, and feelings of being competent in that small part of the world. If it is a healthy interest (not addictions, destructive, or harmful) I think this can only be good.

How does one distract oneself from one's difficulties? People don't have difficulties when engaging in a special interest? How can ASD just disapear? My ASD is always there and never leaving me.

Lady Strange wrote:
I was replying to the other thread about special interests and keeping them secret or not, and it got me thinking of something I have pondered before. I wonder if special interests for us are kind of like a way to cope and feel happy and in control about something. I just was thinking because this past year in particular has been really rough for me (not just covid, other stuff too) and I went head first into a special interest that has lasted about a year, and I feel like it helped get me through. I didn't plan on it though, it just happened. Its funny cause I can't predict what the special interest will be, it just kind of happens and I get taken in with it and honestly it was probably the best thing that happened this past year. I noticed too when I was younger and struggling a lot special interests helped me get through those times too. I don't think though its exclusive to bad times, just seems to get more obsessed with it.

For me my intense interests are not a coping mechanism.
I am very interested in how to use my voice (both speaking and singing).
APA says "any conscious or nonconscious adjustment or adaptation that decreases tension and anxiety in a stressful experience or situation."

Sure I could feel less tension, anxiety and stress when I use my voice in a good way but it can also create frustration if I don't know how to solve a certain problem. Most people are very good at their interests but I struggle.
I had to meet bad teachers who could not teach me. I was also bad at learning and accepting that I probably learn skills different than other people. I can use my interest in social situations as I use my voice when I speak.
Do you people with special interests find that you also struggle?
I use my interest to deal with struggles and finding myself. Do you do this as well?
Or am I the only person who uses my special interest in order to find out who I am?
People seem to refuse to deal with what they find difficult in their special interests. I mean, they often don't deal with the difficult part I think (not that I am an expert).
Or maybe I am the only one who don't have a thing that is free from struggles?
I wish I was also that good at my special interest as you are. Never having struggles seem nice. I feel very different from you guys.



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18 Jun 2021, 11:27 am

Lady Strange wrote:
Yeah its like a zone where you can have control and be completely happy studying or doing just what you want.

I had a co-worker who referred to my apartment as my fortress of solitude lol. It is, I get kinda territorial over my space.

Whatever you want?!
How good are you at your special interest?
I cannot do whatever I want if I don't practice struggle practice and practice. Even then I can't!



Lady Strange
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19 Jun 2021, 2:40 pm

Dandansson wrote:
Lady Strange wrote:
Yeah its like a zone where you can have control and be completely happy studying or doing just what you want.

I had a co-worker who referred to my apartment as my fortress of solitude lol. It is, I get kinda territorial over my space.

Whatever you want?!
How good are you at your special interest?
I cannot do whatever I want if I don't practice struggle practice and practice. Even then I can't!


I meant doing just what you want to be doing what your special interest is. Instead of having to do what others are wanting you to do you can do just what you are wanting which is diving into your special interest. I suppose if your special interest was maybe playing an instrument then you would have to practice a lot. Mine tend to be reading about topics I really like, and learning more about it, it's not so much practicing or being good at it just absorbing information.



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19 Jun 2021, 6:22 pm

Lady Strange wrote:
I suppose if your special interest was maybe playing an instrument then you would have to practice a lot. Mine tend to be reading about topics I really like, and learning more about it, it's not so much practicing or being good at it just absorbing information.

One philosophy about music is that musical competence isn't important, and that it's good to sing or play for the catharsis of the thing rather than to please others. The skiffle craze of the 1950s had some of that philosophy in it, punk rock even more so. The curious thing is that the musicians who did those things very often became skilled, without particularly intending to. A band I know of was often seen as a part of various political demonstrations, and they just banged drums or anything that could be used as a drum, and anybody could join in, with no worries about doing anything but making as much noise as they liked. They were also involved in music therapy sessions for kids with Downs' Syndrome, where similarly there was no particular intention of training them.

It's probably hypocritical of me to approve of all this so strongly, because I often drive myself very hard to achieve an ambitious result, but I never try to be a virtuoso and don't even like hearing a lot of virtuoso music, and I'm happy to "cheat" fairly blatantly to make what I do sound beautiful or exciting. When a musician gets uncomfortable through striving too hard, the music gets worse. Whatever the special interest, I think it's best to only work hard on it when it feels right to, and to remember that it's about fun, fascination and fulfilment.



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19 Jun 2021, 8:52 pm

Certainly they don’t ever provide any sort of sense of control or anything even remotely like it for me, in fact quite the opposite. I don’t have any conscious say in what they are or how intense they will be, or anything like that. Don’t always get any sort of happiness from them, either, I even sometimes get ones I actively dislike. But I suppose they do usually at least provide an escape, and I have taken to using that to my advantage sometimes. So not something that any part of my mind, conscious or not, is likely to actually have developed as a coping mechanism, but has learned to utilize as a coping mechanism.


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20 Jun 2021, 12:15 am

^
Well, I must admit that I've sometimes felt the pain of my own brain wiring dragging me into this or that project and then I feel forced to do a load of hard, meticulous work. For example, I might suddenly find myself compulsively trying to accumulate a 100% complete collection of recordings by a musician I don't particularly like, and then I wonder "why am I doing this to myself?" But there's nearly always some enjoyment in the process itself, and I tend to become more adept at whatever little skills are needed to achieve the result. A lot of the pain is a feeling of being distracted from other more pleasant, useful or important activities. Maybe I'm just wired to get pleasure out of having somehow chosen a purpose, whatever it might be (as long as it doesn't get too directly painful), and pursuing the target. Although I'm ambitious in a sense, I tend to avoid setting my sights far above what I sense I'm able to do well, so a lot of my projects are baby steps that many people would laugh at. I guess my ambitious streak, though strong, is very selective.



Dandansson
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20 Jun 2021, 3:03 am

Lady Strange wrote:
Dandansson wrote:
Lady Strange wrote:
Yeah its like a zone where you can have control and be completely happy studying or doing just what you want.

I had a co-worker who referred to my apartment as my fortress of solitude lol. It is, I get kinda territorial over my space.

Whatever you want?!
How good are you at your special interest?
I cannot do whatever I want if I don't practice struggle practice and practice. Even then I can't!


I meant doing just what you want to be doing what your special interest is. Instead of having to do what others are wanting you to do you can do just what you are wanting which is diving into your special interest. I suppose if your special interest was maybe playing an instrument then you would have to practice a lot. Mine tend to be reading about topics I really like, and learning more about it, it's not so much practicing or being good at it just absorbing information.

It seems that most special interests have to do with absorbing info or collecting items.
When you read about topic you don't need any practice? I myself find that reading book or watching youtube videos can be really difficult ans require some practice. The more answers I get the more questions I ask.
Then you have the social aspects of it. You know, you will have to understand the person/persons who wrote the book and what the purpose of the book is.
This I have to deal with a lot.
Collecting items seems difficult to. What if you don't find an item you want or that you have to deal with a difficult seller.

Why is absorbing info so easy for you? I always sucked at it. I had to practice a lot.
Are you savanth?

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Certainly they don’t ever provide any sort of sense of control or anything even remotely like it for me, in fact quite the opposite. I don’t have any conscious say in what they are or how intense they will be, or anything like that. Don’t always get any sort of happiness from them, either, I even sometimes get ones I actively dislike. But I suppose they do usually at least provide an escape, and I have taken to using that to my advantage sometimes. So not something that any part of my mind, conscious or not, is likely to actually have developed as a coping mechanism, but has learned to utilize as a coping mechanism.

The control I think comes when you are good at something. It takes a lot of pracice.