I’m Not Feeling Good

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My mom was the only one that understood me, she was with me when I got diagnosed with Aspergers. She died June 13, 8 years ago, I have nobody now. I’m sooo tired of the pain in my feet & lower legs, I’m having very extremely bad anxiety everyday, alot of the time I have trouble breathing, I should stop breathing & end my life.

Hi Kitty4670. I'm so sorry for your loss, please don't end your life. I know there are times when it's horribly bleak but there are always ways to find happiness and manage whatever is going on in your life.

I'm so sorry you have no one right now. You have physical problems getting out and getting the social support you should have.

Could you contact the local aging and disability resource center (ADRC) and ask how you can get home visits? Maybe a PT to visit you at home?

I wish I could do something to help you. But I'm very dependent myself.

What kind of leg pain do you have? I used to use icy hot for leg pain and eat bananas for joint pain. It’s not much or the best advice but I just want to be helpful.

As someone who lost his mom last August I know that pain of bereavement and loss all too well and have nothing but condolences to you and I hope your mom rests in peace. Nothing can make the pain of loss ever disappear, but remembrance of the happy memories that bind the living to the dead helps heal the pain and allows a tragedy like death to become the focal point for cherishing and valuing the happy times spent together that transcend life and death.

Keep those memories alive and know that there are people alive, like your friends on this forum, who will be there for you, and while none of it can replace the connection one has to a loving mother, it does show that the positive memories one has of their deceased loved ones binds the living together.

This video from an anime I like explains it wonderfully:

Why is it when things goes sooooo wrong in my life, I want to die?

Kitty, have you tried Voltaren gel? It's an "nsaid" (medication like aspirin, etc) that you apply directly to whatever part of you hurts. It might help you. Voltaren gel was originally only available by prescription, but now is also available over-the-counter.

My wife is a nurse. She uses Voltaren.

i'm so sorry you aren't feeling good, please keep going even if it is just small things. Try to hold onto the breath you do have if possible