Can you tell someone else is also on the spectrum?

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Brainiac42
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16 Jun 2021, 7:59 pm

Can you usually tell when someone else is on the spectrum shortly after meeting them? Kind of like a “gay-dar” for autism? I usually can, and tend to be drawn to people like me. Even if their traits aren’t easily recognizable to the general public.



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16 Jun 2021, 8:02 pm

I can with men but not so much women, even though I'm an Aspie woman myself.


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Mountain Goat
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16 Jun 2021, 8:05 pm

Some people, yes... Definately! And they don't know they are.


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HeroOfHyrule
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16 Jun 2021, 8:26 pm

Yeah. A lot of my friends have been autistic or have had autistic traits, because I'm drawn to other autistic people. When I was a kid I didn't get why I wanted to be friends with "certain" people and didn't have issues socializing with them. lol



Brainiac42
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16 Jun 2021, 8:28 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Yeah. A lot of my friends have been autistic or have had autistic traits, because I'm drawn to other autistic people. When I was a kid I didn't get why I wanted to be friends with "certain" people and didn't have issues socializing with them. lol


I am the same way.



funeralxempire
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16 Jun 2021, 8:46 pm

Brainiac42 wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Yeah. A lot of my friends have been autistic or have had autistic traits, because I'm drawn to other autistic people. When I was a kid I didn't get why I wanted to be friends with "certain" people and didn't have issues socializing with them. lol


I am the same way.


Third. I've always had a tendency to be drawn towards other outcasts and weirdos, without understanding it deeper than that, but in hindsight...


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WhatTheHey
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16 Jun 2021, 9:16 pm

I can usually tell, but it rarely becomes a point of bonding for me for some reason.


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IsabellaLinton
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16 Jun 2021, 9:54 pm

Where are you folks meeting all these autistic people in spontaneous encounters? How to you verify that they're autistic?

I've wondered a few times if a shop clerk or other random person might be autistic, but I can't exactly ask.


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BeaArthur
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16 Jun 2021, 10:23 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Where are you folks meeting all these autistic people in spontaneous encounters? How to you verify that they're autistic?

I've wondered a few times if a shop clerk or other random person might be autistic, but I can't exactly ask.

work, university, dating site, friends of friends...


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Brainiac42
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16 Jun 2021, 10:27 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Where are you folks meeting all these autistic people in spontaneous encounters? How to you verify that they're autistic?

I've wondered a few times if a shop clerk or other random person might be autistic, but I can't exactly ask.

work, university, dating site, friends of friends...


Agreed. Work and school mainly, also suspect a friend of my best friend could be.



HeroOfHyrule
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16 Jun 2021, 10:45 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Where are you folks meeting all these autistic people in spontaneous encounters? How to you verify that they're autistic?

I've wondered a few times if a shop clerk or other random person might be autistic, but I can't exactly ask.

I met a lot of those friends in school or from other friends, and a lot of the people I've met online that I've managed to become friends with have also either been autistic or had autistic traits. I also don't ask people if they're autistic, but I've had friends bring up being diagnosed before.



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17 Jun 2021, 5:42 am

Many characteristics of autism overlap with other diagnoses, such as schizophrenia

Not everyone autistic is diagnosed.

Not all diagnoses accurate

However, I do get a sense of who is socially awkward

But of course that sense is not always correct

But the definition of autism changed recently anyways

And I don't have the vocational credentials to diagnose them

Diagnoses involves specific tests

To just look at someone and make a snap judgment is not justified, even though judgments are often involuntary, subconscious, or natural, or necessary



rowan_nichol
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17 Jun 2021, 9:13 am

"Officially" no, not having any qualification or training in use of diagnostic tools and methods, but I do seem to see more than a few individuals in my former day job where we seem to have more than a few traits in common, and those traits are the sort my own assessment noted as consistent with being somewhere in the Autism spectrum.



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17 Jun 2021, 9:14 am

To all of you who claim to have some kind of "Aspie-Radar", how do you confirm your impressions?


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Benjamin the Donkey
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17 Jun 2021, 9:48 am

I can--though, as I'm an introvert, I don't interact a lot with strangers or even acquaintances, so I can't usually confirm my guesses. It's not the kind of question you ask someone you don't know well.

Recently, though, a very casual acquaintance became a friend after a 3-hour hanging-out session. After that long talk, I was almost sure--and turned out to be right.


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Last edited by Benjamin the Donkey on 17 Jun 2021, 10:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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17 Jun 2021, 9:54 am

Ahh ... but how did you find out?

You cannot know someone is on the spectrum until your suspicion is confirmed -- you can only suspect that someone is on the spectrum until then.

Knowledge and suspicion are not the same thing.  If it was otherwise, then every person suspected of murder would be executed before even going to trial.


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