Is there a connection between worrying and…

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Technic1
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18 Jun 2021, 10:52 am

Working things out?



Fenn
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18 Jun 2021, 1:41 pm

It depends. Some people are worriers and they "get something" from worrying. It creates the illusion that they are "doing something" about what they are worrying about, but can actually be a substitute for doing something about it.

Some people have feelings and they "stuff" the feelings until they explode. If you think that this is true allowing yourself to "feel your feelings" even if they are worrying is better than not feeling you feelings. It may help to journal or do art with your feelings too.

For some people worrying is a way to "hear the alarm" and then address it. Worrying spurs them to action and the actions they take really do help "work things out". However, it is also possible for a false worry to spur you to action that that action does not really help, it might even make things worse.

There are two kinds of worries - real worries and false worries. There are two kinds of actions, helpful and un-helpful. I think the only kind of worry that "works things out" is real worry that leads to helpful action.

But -
If you have a plan - perhaps talking to trusted people - to sort out the true worries from the false and the helpful actions from the unhelpful actions - then worrying might still be part of "working things out".

Just the way I see things at this time.


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ToughDiamond
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19 Jun 2021, 4:24 am

I think being worried about a perceived danger can be a strong driver to finding solutions to it, in the right person. The right person would simply be anybody who has the habit of recognising their anxieties and doing something constructive about them.

But I also think there's a lot of worry that never gets resolved like that, and I suppose it's often been said that there's never any sense in worrying, that it achieves nothing but misery. I think it's true that worry as such can often be like that, and that there are some people who always find something to worry about as if it's in their nature to just upset themselves.

I seem to be a mixture, as I guess most people are. I do see myself as prone to worrying, particularly by getting anxious about small risks that many other people would see for what they were and not let it spoil their happiness so much. On the other hand, when any particular thing worries me repeatedly I tend to start looking for solutions, and I often find them. And I'm more emotionally resilient than I used to be, and I suspect I'm calmer than a lot of the people I know, these days.



Dear_one
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19 Jun 2021, 4:27 pm

Worries are a sign that things need to be worked out. They should be written down, not endlessly circulated through short-term memory. On the same page, you need to start writing down solutions, and then choose, and act.



MrsPeel
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20 Jun 2021, 6:31 am

I agree - if I find myself worrying about something over and over I take that to mean some action is required.

Sometimes I just don't have enough control over the situation to be able to actually work through a solution.
Or that's how it seems.

Often there is actually a solution if I'm willing/able to explain my concerns to the people who are in control of the situation.
That's a risky proposition though - because if I make the effort to explain and my concerns are ignored, that tends to trigger me bigtime and I'm likely to have a meltdown.

So if I'm stuck and I really can't change anything, I try to persuade myself not to worry about things until they've actually happened. In other words, be willing to face the situation I'm worried about calmly, and deal with the bad thing if/when it happens.

I still tend to worry though :roll: .



Technic1
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21 Jun 2021, 2:53 am

Doe worrying help you figure things out?



Fenn
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21 Jun 2021, 9:39 am

Technic1,
When I worry it might help me to figure things out, but it might just make thinking harder.
For me if I have "no worries" I am sometimes lazy and this is not good.
But sometimes I am too worried and I get afraid and keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again with no end in sight.
So I have learned to try to carefully think "what can I DO about this worry - and for the parts I cannot DO anything - I will leave those up to God".
That is how it is for me.

I am a bit curious - what made you ask this question in the first place? Did someone tell you there was no connection?


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