How important is the other person's education?

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Minervx_2
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19 Jun 2021, 10:03 am

Using a person's education level as a litmus test can result in people not giving a chance to someone who actually may be compatible with them.

Imo, what matters more than the degree itself is the traits that can come with it. When someone is looking for a partner that's educated, they tend to look for traits like:
* Open mindedness
* Having deep conversations
* Trying to learn and improve everyday
* Worldly knowledge / Exposing yourself to differing ideas
* Ambition in career

But someone can have these traits despite not having a degree.



Urthred
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13 Aug 2021, 10:42 pm

In theory I want to say you are right but in practice my experience has shown differently. The traits you describe are all nice and you do not need a degree to posses them. The difference I have found between some with a higher education and those without is almost a language and a set of cultural/experiential differences. Depending on the degree type but someone with a liberal arts degree akin to mine is likely to have critical thinking and a knowledge basis for understanding the validity of references/sources. Having this educational basis functions to allow for deeper conversations than I would necessarily have with someone without that education because without it I am constantly having to explain why a source is invalid or untrue, this stymies true conversational depth. Additionally, the education tends to grant a better more diverse frame of information than people tend to have without. People who have not gone through higher education tend to only seek sources that confirm their ideas not those that disagree with them. Exceptions of course likely exist but in terms of broad trends this is what I have seen.



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Aug 2021, 1:11 am

[quote="Minervx_2"]Using a person's education level as a litmus test can result in people not giving a chance to someone who actually may be compatible with them.

Imo, what matters more than the degree itself is the traits that can come with it. When someone is looking for a partner that's educated, they tend to look for traits like:
* Open mindedness
* Having deep conversations
* Trying to learn and improve everyday
* Worldly knowledge / Exposing yourself to differing ideas
* Ambition in career

I would rather marry someone who is a high school grad and C student and business owner and investor than someone who was a straight A college professor .I want my wife to be really ambitious because I want her to want us to get into the top one percent of income and wealth in America by being entrrpenuers and professional investors and reality tv stars.I would rather marry someone who only had a high school diploma than a 4.0 philosophy degree from Harvard.I say this as someone who has 2 doctorates.



Rexi
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14 Aug 2021, 12:00 pm

There's not much you can study in a limited school for a couple of years. But people who love to study on their own encompass a greater knowledge and variety of knowledge areas, learn and seek more by the interest of their knowledge and answer much more questions about something someone might be taught in school.

Thats why i have a great admiration for special interests, the drive and action in which people can learn so much they become experts.

Specific fancy words aren\t a necessty for people to understand and explain especially with internet article learning, because you have so many explanations and things written in so many ways, and questions you can seek answers to whereas in schools some people can't even learn in the way classes are designed, ask because of anxiety, and enjoy it to actually involve themselves in getting a degree. Multiple popular scientists are there to explain it does not actually pay off financially to be a scientist.

In dating, people commonly trade things they think they want for things that they deem more important, for example they trade affection for peace and being able to be alone, they trade religious beliefs for someone they get along with, they trade richness for relationship stability, and vice versa.


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nick007
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17 Aug 2021, 4:36 am

The only characteristic you mentioned OP that I may possess is Open Mindedness. I actually tend to prefer women who are less educated, at least less formally educated. Well educated people tend to look more down on me. They think I'm an extremely lazy loser because I struggled majorly with school due to dyslexia, ADD, & other related learning disorders. They also tend to nitpick my grammar & not listen to my ideas & opinions about things. In my experience the more educated a person is, the less open minded they tend to be. They want everything explained to them in a scientific way with charts & diagrams & math formulas in order for them to consider something there that may contradict something they learned or believe.

I think Worldly Knowledge & Exposing Yourself To Differing Ideas comes from traveling a lot & meeting many different people & cultures a lot more than it does from formal education. I'm very much a homebody who prefers to keep to himself in general instead of traveling to a different area to socialize & learn about the culture which would be a major incompatibility for me within a romantic relationship.

Ambition In Career is something I can never have due to being disabled. I worked aLOT when I was employed & allowed to but they were federal minimum-wage jobs that had virtually no opportunity for advancement & I was extremely lucky to have those jobs. People tended to look down on me for having those jobs because no matter how many hours I worked in a week & how physically demanding the job was, people assumed that I must be extremely lazy to not be doing better. I spent much more time looking for employment than I was employed. I also like spending aLOT of time with my romantic partner which would be very difficult to do if she was working a lot so she could advance in her job.

I'm not entirely sure what is meant by Having Deep Conversations. I'm not good with intellectual conversations due to not having an intellectual mind. I'm also horrible with social chit-chat & small talk due to Aspergers. I much rather have conversations about serious personal issues people are having but I'm much more of a listener than a talker & I have to feel comfortable with the person in order to open up in person & of corse feeling comfortable & opening up can be a major problem in part due to my Aspergers.

Trying To Learn & Improve Everyday seems to involve things like pursing more advanced schooling & getting another degree, taking non-credit classes in a field your interested in, or trying out a new hobby. Those are things I'm not really interested in due to my many weaknesses. Trying to challenge my weaknesses tends to make me very discouraged, majorly frustrated, & it can take a hit to my self-esteem because I just can not measure up to others & my rate of improvement can be extremely slow. Trying to learn & improve in something I'm really bad at can get very exhausting very fast & I'd much rather put that energy towards something more enjoyable or doing various activities that need to get done that I'm better suited to do like chores. I don't usually learn much from doing chores but they need to get done sometimes & that is one way I can help pull my weight within a relationship. Chores can still require a lot of effort & time even if I'm not really learning from them.

I have an idiot savant type of humor(think Peter Griffin from Family Guy) & I find things others consider stupid to be very funny sometimes & they can also be very cute sometimes when a romantic partner does em. I'm a much better match for a woman who has the intelligence of the dumb blond stereotype. I don't mean being shallow & obsessed with appearance & reality TV stars, I mean things like getting confused very easily & kinda ditzy. There can be plenty of exceptions with everything I mentioned though & when I was single I would try to get to know women a bit before deciding if I should make a move on her or not & I was much more interested in her if she was nice towards me.


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