Has your autism fluctuated over the years?

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I was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 8 but I felt it has fluctuated and even peeked throughout my life so far.

Age birth-4 I was practically NT

Age 4-11 I was a mixture of Asperger's, ADHD and anxiety

Age 11-15 I kind of went autistic and did stupid, embarrassing things that were out of character for me (my social skills got worse before they got better). You might as well say my ASD peeked in my early teen years.

Age 15-24 I seemed more bipolar with poor anger management and severe social phobia (the rage outbursts started at around 15 and got worse in my early 20s, I had difficulty keeping my mood stable and I'd fly off the handle when least expected, although I don't think I had bipolar, I was just wallowing in self-pity and depression at the time)

Age 24-present I seemed to have got better emotionally, socially and maturity-wise, but my ADHD seems to have gotten more obvious. I hope my Asperger's symptoms stays this low for the rest of my life

Age 70 - probably dementia but I'll get back to you on that one in 2060 or something)


Anyone else's autism fluctuated and kind of manifested into co-morbids or something?

Yes.
Or at least my reactions and abilities towards problems did instead of my traits.

Most of my problems are directly tied to an untreated and undiagnosed issue, or something from my family than autism itself.


Had that been true, then the "autism" I have is progressive -- which it isn't in any case.

Or that deep down I do not grow up at all regardless of my mental and physical status.

Instead of dealing inconsistent energy, hormonal sensitivity, literally feeling my own bars gets shorter as I age regardless of lifestyle, and sleep issues symptoms that resembles like ADD or some cognitive decline.

Whether or not I use it, I seem to keep losing it. I'm only 26, not 35. And it was gradual.
Only to come back randomly, then disappear again gradually. This isn't even burnout.


If my medical issues were resolved, I won't have this pseudo-comorbid.

All my skills and experiences will be accessible.
I'd get to act, feel and think my own age (or more), I'd be enabled by executive function -- and still autistic.

Only difference is being healthy, having the resources, not chronically coping with whatever this is, and able to access my real skills underneath the problem that's been blamed as 'autism'.



Honestly I'm just very hung up with this...

Because this isn't some hypothetical scenario made up from a coveting mind.
It's something that did happen, and I want it to happen permanently instead of trying my luck.

But none of this made sense to me except something to do with sleep or energy, somewhere at the left side of my head...

This post seem like a rant.
Because I'm just as frustrated, because I felt cheated because of this.

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I know mine has. I appeared pretty normal and only had a language delay with some strange behaviors and then anxiety came and it became more obvious I was on the spectrum because I couldn't hide it anymore while anxious and stressed.

I've certainly felt the symptoms to varying degrees over the years, but it's hard to say whether there was any absolute change in my traits or whether it was all down to changes in external circumstances and the development of coping strategies, and there are always the factors of confidence, stress and fatigue which I would think likely to affect the ability to perform well. I wasn't diagnosed till a few years ago, so all I can do to figure it out for experiences before the DX is to try to remember those times and to apply what I now know about ASD.

There were 2 phases where I can identify very little trouble that would have been caused by ASD - birth to about 10 years old, and 27 to 29 years old. My early school environment was pretty free of aspie-unfriendly stuff, and during my late 20s I was living among very easy-going, nonjudgemental people and was hardly ever short of friends.

So in technical terms, the noise has always been too great to reliably estimate changes in the signal. A person who'd had a life of more constant ASD-related pressures and stress levels would be in a better position to do it. I doubt the (dis)abilities themselves change much over time, but I can't be sure of that. I never saw anything in the literature to suggest any change in the severity of ASD, but I haven't read that much about ASD except on WP.

I was nonverbal til i was about 8

then i became a hyperactive teen but i dont have adhd

then i lived on drugs and alcohol so i have no idea what my autism was like during that time

now im high functioning but lack the social skills but im ok with that