Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

How do you get turned on a by a really goodlooking woman?

Page 11 of 11 [ 168 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Previous topic | Next topic

cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

08 Sep 2021, 4:25 am

ironpony wrote:
Well another thing is, because she is really goodlooking, a part of me feels kind of shallow going for her, when they are women out there, who cannot achieve that level of looks. I feel like maybe I sold out in a sense, and feel shallow over it, if that makes sense? Kind of like the Hal character in the movie Shallow Hal if that makes sense?


I think over time as the relationship normalises the novelty of having a hot G/F will wear away. As this happens the nuanced things that makes you both like each other gains traction.

The imposter syndrome you might be feeling is largely a product of perceiving other people's looks.

Not quite the same thing but my parents had a house with panoramic ocean views which were spectacular. As a child I eventually got bored at looking at the ocean or going to the beach. Basically the novelty eventually wore off. It just became background scenery. Same goes for your partner's looks. If you see her every day of the week, hours a day then I can assure you will stop noticing how she looks and see her just as a person, your partner, wife etc.



Danusaurus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jul 2020
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 942
Location: Brisbane, Australia

08 Sep 2021, 4:44 am

cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Well another thing is, because she is really goodlooking, a part of me feels kind of shallow going for her, when they are women out there, who cannot achieve that level of looks. I feel like maybe I sold out in a sense, and feel shallow over it, if that makes sense? Kind of like the Hal character in the movie Shallow Hal if that makes sense?


I think over time as the relationship normalises the novelty of having a hot G/F will wear away. As this happens the nuanced things that makes you both like each other gains traction.

The imposter syndrome you might be feeling is largely a product of perceiving other people's looks.

Not quite the same thing but my parents had a house with panoramic ocean views which were spectacular. As a child I eventually got bored at looking at the ocean or going to the beach. Basically the novelty eventually wore off. It just became background scenery. Same goes for your partner's looks. If you see her every day of the week, hours a day then I can assure you will stop noticing how she looks and see her just as a person, your partner, wife etc.


I don't think I could have said that better myself. My pops explains it to me similar.. once you consider/start relationships with someone.. it's like you can't see the cracks in it then gradually over time they start appearing. I'm all for renewing s**t however in a way.. least for some.. one knows what these are and how to avoid them in future.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

09 Sep 2021, 4:22 am

Danusaurus wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Well another thing is, because she is really goodlooking, a part of me feels kind of shallow going for her, when they are women out there, who cannot achieve that level of looks. I feel like maybe I sold out in a sense, and feel shallow over it, if that makes sense? Kind of like the Hal character in the movie Shallow Hal if that makes sense?


I think over time as the relationship normalises the novelty of having a hot G/F will wear away. As this happens the nuanced things that makes you both like each other gains traction.

The imposter syndrome you might be feeling is largely a product of perceiving other people's looks.

Not quite the same thing but my parents had a house with panoramic ocean views which were spectacular. As a child I eventually got bored at looking at the ocean or going to the beach. Basically the novelty eventually wore off. It just became background scenery. Same goes for your partner's looks. If you see her every day of the week, hours a day then I can assure you will stop noticing how she looks and see her just as a person, your partner, wife etc.


I don't think I could have said that better myself. My pops explains it to me similar.. once you consider/start relationships with someone.. it's like you can't see the cracks in it then gradually over time they start appearing. I'm all for renewing s**t however in a way.. least for some.. one knows what these are and how to avoid them in future.


Exactly Bro! that's why it doesn't matter even if a g/f is below average looking. If she loves you and connects with you then in the long run she will make you happier than a stuck-up "what are you going to do to please me" hot babe.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

09 Sep 2021, 3:11 pm

Those are good points. A part of me just feels sorry for her women I know who say they can never get good guys because of their looks. Makes me feel like I am selling out when they say things like that, but maybe I shouldn't feel that way, based on what they say?



that1weirdgrrrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,090
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies

09 Sep 2021, 6:32 pm

ironpony wrote:
Those are good points. A part of me just feels sorry for her women I know who say they can never get good guys because of their looks. Makes me feel like I am selling out when they say things like that, but maybe I shouldn't feel that way, based on what they say?


If you only liked a woman for her looks, and hated everything else about her, but dated her anyway because she was "hot" then you would be selling out.

Humans (of any gender) who blame their looks for their lack of romantic success need to re-evaluate their approach.


_________________
...what do the public, the great unobservant public, who could hardly tell a weaver by his tooth or a compositor by his left thumb, care about the finer shades of analysis and deduction!


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas

09 Sep 2021, 6:52 pm

i was turned on by a grandmother who is a friend of a sibling. :heart:



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

09 Sep 2021, 7:54 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
If you only liked a woman for her looks, and hated everything else about her, but dated her anyway because she was "hot" then you would be selling out.


^^^ it would only be a temporary short term benefit, but the long term repayments wouldn't make it worth it.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

28 Sep 2021, 7:31 am

There are some women who just have that "quality"----they can turn on men even when they're past 80.