How do you get turned on a by a really goodlooking woman?

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29 Jun 2021, 9:34 pm

Oh yeah for sure, I don't want to do that. But how do other guys get over such insecurities, especially if they are understandable, like you say?

cyberdad
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29 Jun 2021, 9:39 pm

ironpony wrote:

So when she talks about It, I feel jealousy and insecurity. For example she is 21 and has already had four relationships. I am 36 and have only had 4. So I feel intimidated that she has had more experience than me. Women my age or older probably have too, but they don't talk about it like she does, because of her age.

If that makes sense?

Human emotions and feelings of insecurity are normal, NTs get them too. I'm also curious why she said nobody ever asked her out yet she's mysteriously had four relationships?

ironpony
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29 Jun 2021, 9:43 pm

Oh she asked them all out. If it's normal does that make such insecurities to get over, if they are more normal or more common?

Last edited by ironpony on 29 Jun 2021, 9:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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29 Jun 2021, 9:43 pm

ironpony wrote:

Oh yeah for sure, I don't want to do that. But how do other guys get over such insecurities, especially if they are understandable, like you say?

they basically have to "fake it 'til they make it." IOW act the part until the part becomes you and you become the part. YOU CAN DO IT.

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29 Jun 2021, 9:45 pm

ironpony wrote:

Oh she asked them all out. If it's normal does that make such insecurities to get over, if they are more normal or more common?

you can't let yourself worry about what is "normal" for other people, you have to concentrate on what normal is for yourself and optimize it any way you can.

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29 Jun 2021, 10:05 pm

Oh okay. Well when she asks me about my past and I got nothing to say, what do I do? She even told me I never seem to want to talk about myself much, so what do I do when I don't have much of a past to talk about compared to her?

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29 Jun 2021, 10:06 pm

ironpony wrote:

be honest about it but never be ashamed. NEVER. just matter of fact. if she has a problem with that, it is HER problem.

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29 Jun 2021, 10:12 pm

That's true, I just feel it will be hard to talk about it without coming off as jealous.

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29 Jun 2021, 10:14 pm

ironpony wrote:

That's true, I just feel it will be hard to talk about it without coming off as jealous.

balance the "jealousy" with the stated [by you] fact that she had to ask her previous 4 BFs out. did she ask you out as well? if so, i'd be thankful and forget about the jealousy.

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29 Jun 2021, 10:15 pm

Oh okay thanks. But sorry, I am just not following. Could you elaborate on that, if that's okay ?

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29 Jun 2021, 10:18 pm

ironpony wrote:

Oh okay thanks. But sorry, I am just not following. Could you elaborate on that, if that's okay

first of all, did she ask you out initially? dwell upon that, and the jealousy will be blunted. be thankful to her that she chose YOU.

ironpony
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29 Jun 2021, 10:26 pm

Yes she asked me out initially.

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29 Jun 2021, 10:27 pm

ironpony wrote:

Yes she asked me out initially.

dwell on that and BE THANKFUL. you must have a lot on the ball for that to happen, for a woman to SEEK YOU OUT.

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29 Jun 2021, 10:28 pm

But that's what got me really puzzled, is what do I have on the ball for this to happen. I surely am not seeing it... I think I feel like she thinks I do for some odd reason, but if I have to explain more of my past to her, she will get to know the real me, which is missing a past pretty much.

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29 Jun 2021, 10:30 pm

ironpony wrote:

But that's what got me really puzzled, is what do I have on the ball for this to happen. I surely am not seeing it...

many men in similar circumstances ask themselves this, they second-guess themselves and sabotage themselves. do NOT do this. it is a common anecdote, "i don't know what the hell she sees in me!" but you CANNOT let this hijack and sabotage your thinking. look in the mirror and tell yourself, "OF COURSE she likes me!"

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29 Jun 2021, 10:32 pm

Oh okay. I suppose women I have went out with the in the past have done this to themselves too that I know.

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