Is it normal to feel awkward when my parents have guests?

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catpiecakebutter
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26 Jun 2021, 7:41 pm

I'm a 37 year old woman with aspergers and I live with my older parents and they have had guests stay at their house this weekend. My mother has been distracted with the guests and I feel awkward for a selfish reason. I'm worried about something personal and I also would like my mother's attention when I have these awkward feelings and I kinda wish my parents' guests/friends would leave early. Is this selfish and juvenile of me? Please give me some advise from other aspies.



hurtloam
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26 Jun 2021, 10:54 pm

You're normal routine has been disrupted, so you will feel a bit strange. Everyone will feel slightly disrupted by having guests to some extent, even NTs.

It's a grit your teeth and bear it type of thing.

I had a friend living with me for a few weeks whilst she looked for somewhere else to rent. After a few days I couldn't wait for her to leave.

My pets were weirded out by having another person in the house. It took a few weeks before they accepted her.



timf
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27 Jun 2021, 6:47 am

an unusual change in routine can cause a degree of anxiety. When added to an expectation that there would be an opportunity to have a deeper conversation with someone that now seems to be postponed, it can be a little frustrating. We don't do well with sudden or unexpected change or with frustration. For that reason it can be useful to pull back from what was expected and settle for a delay as well as finding some small indulgence that can sooth anxiety.



Mountain Goat
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27 Jun 2021, 8:16 am

I have kinda been living like this for over a decade so I understand how you feel. When you need "Me" time and time to relax and it does not happen, and if one complains one is made to feel guilty for complaining... And people can assume you don't like them, when it is far from it. It is more that you can't cope with so much going on for suce extended periods of time if that makes sense?



ToughDiamond
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27 Jun 2021, 11:52 pm

I've sometimes disliked it when a cohabitee has had people round and have wished they'd go away. It depends who it is, but essentially it's random people turning up without me having much of a say in it, and there's usually several inconveniences into the bargain. A lot of the routine tends to get blown away. I've tried not to live with anybody who would invite any horrible people to visit, but sometimes they've turned out to have some annoying friends or relatives, and of course you can't choose your parents. To be fair, I was usually quite glad when my parents did have guests, because we didn't have company very often, and I liked a lot of them - they were quite picky about who they invited, preferring polite, friendly people - so the good generally outweighed the bad. But partners have had some relatives I've felt awkward with.