I don't have a lot of friends, but there is one person I feel like I can call my best friend, and through him I've managed to make other friends, so he's kind of the key to my friend group, which I kinda feel like is really his friend group. I still live with my mom and stepmom and I've been dying to move out for the longest, a while back he was looking to do the same (him and his girlfriend were living with his mom) he said we could be roommates, I was really looking forward to this because it meant I'd get away from my mother, live more independently, hang out with him more and I'd get to see everyone else in our friend group more often. He later changed his mind though and decided to move with just him and his girlfriend further up north closer to everyone else.
He lived around the corner from me but the rest of the friend group is further away. Before the pandemic we would car pool and he'd pick me up whenever we all went to hang out together. We've been playing games and communicating on discord and were talking about meeting up again soon but now if I want to see everyone in person I have to take the highway which I have extreme anxiety about doing. I feel kind of isolated now, more than I was before. Maybe I should try to meet more people locally? It was hard making friends to begin with the idea of trying to meet new people again sounds depressing and terrifying. I feel silly being depressed about this, he and everyone else would tell you it's not far away, and for most people it's not, but I have anxiety about driving and I don't know how to explain why it's taking me more than an hour to get there because I'm avoiding the highway...
EDIT: Maybe this should have been in the Haven idk...
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"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age"
27 Jun 2021, 4:57 pm
