Anxiety
Not sure.
When I was working I was often scared of losing my job, though looking back there was never any great danger of that happening. There was a procedural agreement with the union that said you had to have had a series of increasingly formal warnings before you could be sacked, and I never even had an informal warning.
These days the dangers in my life are probably more real but I don't seem to let it bother me so much. It grinds me down when there's too much of it, but it's not the acute panicky feeling I used to get, and when the pressure's off it's remarkable how quickly I brighten up again.
I guess psychological danger is always the thing that's real to the mind, and that it's not always the same thing as actual danger.
When I was working I was often scared of losing my job, though looking back there was never any great danger of that happening. There was a procedural agreement with the union that said you had to have had a series of increasingly formal warnings before you could be sacked, and I never even had an informal warning.
These days the dangers in my life are probably more real but I don't seem to let it bother me so much. It grinds me down when there's too much of it, but it's not the acute panicky feeling I used to get, and when the pressure's off it's remarkable how quickly I brighten up again.
I guess psychological danger is always the thing that's real to the mind, and that it's not always the same thing as actual danger.
I also have a fear of losing my job, with no real reasoning besides minor mistakes I’ve made. It’s a bad feeling.
I gather it's fairly common with Aspies. I read about one who was sometimes a few minutes late for work, and he'd then typically spend the entire morning barely capable of working because he thought they were going to sack him for being late. I guess it's the black-and-white thinking that does it. Commonly all we might see is that they sack people for breaking the rules. It took me a long time to get it through my head that nobody knew or cared about being a few minutes late. And a mistake, that's incompetence, which they sack you for - except that again there's the matter of degree. Nobody's perfect, and they understand that. We kind of don't. I could hardly believe it when I heard that my manager spoke very highly of my performance, and when I got a glowing reference.
diagnosed years ago with GAD, but now I suspect its actually or also CPTSD from my abused infancy and childhood. I am anxious all the time, hypervigilant, fearful, and I suspect that this was something I developed early on as a survival technique. Little by little it is going away, especially better now that I have more self understanding and understanding of all the things that happened in the past because of my late autism diagnosis. I have been able to see the past and many relationships much more clearly and am now able to do better self care and to understand my fears and to develop new ways of coping or adjusting my life so that I am not constantly stressed and distressed.
_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson
AngryJackal97
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 9 May 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 70
Location: The planet Amun
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