Does this count as cheating?

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There is a woman I started dating and I think it's going really well and on the fifth date coming up now. Well I asked her if she was open to a relationship and she said in the future she may be, she just has a lot going on her life right now. I asked if she was seeing anyone else right now, and she said no, and I said well I don't feel like it either, and she said you can if you want, you do you.

But I got turned off when she said that, really turned off I think. Later on in the day, because she said you do you, I hooked up with another woman who wanted to but as we were in the process of hooking up I got turned on off and felt sick and regreted doing it and left. I just feel lousy now, like I cheated, even though she said we are not exclusive.

She said you do you, but was this a test and she didn't actually want me to see anyone else?

But do you think she was testing me to say I want a relationship though?

Oh okay, it's that it felt wrong for some reason.

Yeah I want a serious relationship. Well how should I handle this then? If I didn't do anything wrong then I guess there is no obligation to tell her about it, even though I feel guilty about it?

You clearly care about her if you felt guilty about what happened. You take love seriously and aren't a cheat. I'd say, you just have to be patient as she seems to have feelings for you but is too involved with other stuff (studies, career etc?) to get in too deep and make a commitment yet. I guess it will be worth the wait! But keep in touch so she knows you're still interested.

No need to mention anything to her about it.

I noticed as aspies we seem to struggle a bit to find women really into guys. A lot of the people we find are pretty tepid when it comes to intimacy and in my eyes if fair to look for someone else while still waiting for someone like that to make their minds up.

No need to mention it but it's a good thing to feel guilty about it even though you what you did isn't really so wrong but was just a sort of retaliation on the spur of the moment and you had no feelings for the other girl. The fact that you felt guilty shows you have a conscience and that you're a person who values the feelings of others.

I can understand she has issues and that she will soon get to see that you're vastly different to the abusive guy she was previously involved with.

Don't bother, as you're not yet in a committed relationship with her (engaged etc). That other guy she was involved with wouldn't feel guilty about cheating even for a single moment. In fact he'd be proud of the "conquests" he makes. You're tons better than he is but I'd say, leave it be and don't hurt her feelings. Unless the other girl is a friend of hers who might let something slip.

It isnt cheating but if you liked her that much i wouldnt have had sex with another woman straight after, that just shows your feelings for her wasnt as strong as you thought.

Oh okay, I thought it re-affirmed my feelings for her strong, since I got jealous and did in retaliation and then had to stop and feel guilty about it after.