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Hi...
About 5 years ago someone who had a son with Aspergers questioned me about whether or not I was in fact on the spectrum myself. It seemed like a valid question as I have always been really different and have never felt like I "fit" anywhere. So I did some reading online and whilst I did relate to most of what I read, there were things like "lacking empathy" which I didn't relate to because I have always been extremely good at sensing what is going on with other people to the point of being borderline psychic. So I dismissed it.
But being someone who is endlessly fascinated with getting to know myself, my search continued. I discovered that I am a HSP. I totally 100% resonated with HSP's and it helped explain much of my life. Then I got into MBI and found I was an INFP which also really resonated with me and explained much of my life experience.
The other day I watched some YouTube video's on female adult Aspergers and was shocked to find that much of it also felt true for me.
As for the lack of empathy question, I realised that whilst I can sense what others are feeling really well, the truth (if I am totally honest) is I just don't care. I know that sounds heartless and maybe it's just from life burnout (I'm now 55 years old), but I just didn't give a crap about other people anymore, even when I could sense their feelings.
I took the online AG test and scored reasonably high. I do have a psychiatrist (although she is horrific) and I am on meds for anxiety and BPD. I have received all kinds of diagnosis including recurrent depression, GAD, CPTSD, dependant personality disorder (which I personally found hilarious since I would rather be by myself than with ANYONE else). Basically I have had a pretty weird life punctuated with abandonment and abuse. And I basically felt that my biggest issue was trauma and trying to heal from that.
But now I am wondering. Could all this be explained by Aspergers?

You could always ask to be tested? You will need a psycologist who specializes in autiam assessing to be assessed.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

One thing I've noticed while being on here is that autistic people often can have a normal ability to feel empathy towards other people, but that we lack the ability to express that empathy in ways other people may recognize due to our social issues. I don't think a lot of us actually "lack empathy", it just seems like that to others.

Welcome aboard.

Welcome to WP! I think you'll find some interesting people here.

But I was 64 when I first remotely suspected I might be Autistic, when I first heard of the Autism Spectrum, and when I was formally diagnosed as Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild) so I have excellent credentials for not providing diagnostic help.

But I do hope you find your answer.

Thank you everyone for the responses.

I am not sure that offical diagnosis is something that I will be able to pursue. Mental health services here are extremely difficult and expensive to pursue and I have not had good experiences with so-called professionals thus far.

It's weird, but even bringing up the possibility that I might be Aspie to my family (I don't have friends), seems like a bad idea. I feel like they will be dismissive of me and won't understand. It's embarrassing to say that I have done some online research and watched some video's and now I think I might have Aspergers. It's not the kind of thing my family would take seriously.

I have spent my entire life being different, feeling different, and keeping that information to myself. I am extremely good at masking as a defence mechanism. I'm not sure anyone at all has ever seen the real me, or ever will.

Yes, "proof" of having autism is not needed here. There are plenty of people here who don't have a formal diagnosis (me included), so even if you never seek a diagnosis you can feel free to contribute here as much as you'd like.

I hope that you enjoy your time here, and that people here are able to help you with any advice/support you may need.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet may I take your coat and shoes and place them where; they, won't get rained upon or affected by the elements.. Just trying to be theatrical..