Expressing Yourself Verbal v.s. Written (From Reddit)

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Originally posted here: https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comment ... s_written/

Original text:
"Does anyone else feel like its way easier to explain what you mean and express yourself through text or writing rather than verbal communication? It’s really frustrating when I get into a conversation or an argument because I have a hard time explaining myself verbally, but when its written I am much better at expressing myself. So when I get stuck in these conversations the other person always has the advantage cause they can communicate normally, but then when I am able to communicate through writing since I have the advantage they no longer care cause I can actually say what I want to say. Does that make sense? I don’t know." By allisont215

I know this problem all too well! I thought I'd share this here on Wrong Planet. Answer here and on Reddit. My comment is also there. It's under "WillWants2Know," my Reddit Username.

But seriously who of you are better at writing than at verbally speaking with your physical mouth? I would like to hear you.

I can't process things fast enough to respond properly during verbal conversations, but written communication is easier since I have more time. It also lets me refine what I'm saying since I can edit things before I respond, so what I say is usually easier for others to understand.

Yes. I'm working with a Speech-Language Pathologist for support.

I am far more articulate in writing than in speech. A significant amount of the time I do manage to say something like what I want to, I’m still asked to repeat myself three or more times. Oftentimes I end up saying nothing because I can’t get my thoughts together before the conversation moves on (in a group) or the other person has given up on me (one-on-one).

What often happens to me is that I say something that in my head is crystal clear and impossible to misinterpret, and they misinterpret it. I also tend to misinterpret what others say unless it's very structured and clear, like instructions.
Much easier in writing.

/Mats

I much prefer writing, as it gives more time to find the right words. However, while it may say exactly what I mean, neither my writing nor my speech have much success at conveying that to others.

Writing. All day long. I write for a living now.

When the internet first became accessible to me in the late 90s, and I discovered online chat it was a revelation. In real-time chat, I am quick-witted, engaging and eloquent - everything I'm not in real life conversations. Having spent my life with a good brain that just seemed to shut down when I needed it most, it was enormously freeing.

I still think that real-time chat me is the very best version of me and I wish I could communicate like that face-to-face with people.

I only found out that "chat" is not audible recently when it was the only route for customer service, and it is utterly frustrating to me. I think that communication peaked with email, and am quite unhappy that the things I write here are not in my main archives for easy re-use.

I'm way more articulate when communicating via writing vs verbally. I tend to freeze in face to face conversations and end up sounding incompetent.

Mostly I'm better with writing than talking, mostly because of having more time and being able to edit, but more recently I've been noticing one or two disadvantages that writing has.

I might not be very good at reading emotions in faces, body language and tone of voice, but I do pick up some idea of how people are feeling in those ways, which can be useful as a way of working out if the person I'm talking to is getting interested, bored, or upset by what I'm saying. That allows me to modify my words more promptly. With writing I often don't know how what I say going to go down, and if I think the matter I'm writing about is sensitive, it's hard for me to feel confident that I'll do no harm.

I also have some skill in using tone of voice to advantage. Again it's probably not great, but it's there. I think I'm able to convey that I'm feeling friendly towards a person and that I'm not intending to be hostile, for example. And it's easier to emphasise particular words for clarity.

I often dislike being interrupted, but sometimes it's for the best, e.g. if I talk at great length and the listener can't keep up, gets bored, feels threatened or uncomfortable about my ideas, or just wants to have their say too. In principle I can also interrupt them, but I very rarely do.