Criticism on "talking too close" behaviour?

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Jayo
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11 Jul 2021, 5:14 pm

I know one common issue those of us with ASD/HFA have had is the tendency to talk too close (and too loud) with others, i.e. due to proprioception issues or poor perception of personal space around us.
For me, this was more so in my youth, in my college/uni days pre-diagnosis, before someone pointed it out to me.

The funny thing in retrospect is, when I looked at a few random online comments (outside of WP) on this issue, one person said that he always interpreted the smiling & nodding response he'd get from NTs as a cue to continue, but he rather selectively missed the person looking up and around subtly quickly - which he took as a cue that the person was processing his speech to think about it, but integrated together, these non-verbal cues really meant "ohhh boyyy... just move away and/or finish it up before it becomes a monologue, you weirdo, can't you tell I wanna move on to something else already"
:roll: :) :P
I can laugh at it now and laugh in hindsight, in a self-deprecating way, as it's very rare I do that these days - except for one time in my 30s (in the late 2000s) when I was at some social function and had a few drinks, and well yeah...alcohol causes some regression of those Aspie-like behaviours, let's put it that way :P



timf
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12 Jul 2021, 6:39 am

Forty years ago I had an employee complain to me about a guy from another department that would stand too close when he talked to her. I asked the guy to stop by my office and I asked him if he had ever heard of the subject of personal body space. He had not.

It is always difficult to bring up a subject of personal habits or conduct. However, he was open to attempting some correction.

I observed him after that sometimes jerk himself away as hew recognized that he was getting too close to someone when he spoke with them. I had to give him credit for really trying to change the habit of a lifetime.



Mountain Goat
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12 Jul 2021, 8:02 am

When I was in collage which was a stressful experience, I was told off for not looking at people when I talked to them. I tried so much to "Fit in" but it never worked. I was always an outsider!
But in order to make sure that I was not going to e told off for not making eye contact, I would place my face right in front of other peoples faces so my eyes were out of focus so I could talk to them, but people didn't like it. I was told off for all sorts of things and what annoyed me was that others would repeatedly do what I was being told off for, and they were not even criticized for doing it which was completely unfair. It aas as if I was the only one who was to be criticized and told off... And these were for things like "Not wearing jeans like everyone else wears" and things like that. (There was no clothes policies in the collage).

Collage was the single worst experience in my life as every day was stress or fear in all directions. I masked my way through it as the only way to cope.


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