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Jamesy
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18 Jul 2021, 11:23 am

Anyone else here struggle to make friends there own age range?

At the moment most of my close friends at the pub are in the age range of 40s, 60 and up to 70. I do have some friends who are in there late 30s though.

I am 31 by the way



Mona Pereth
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18 Jul 2021, 2:56 pm

Yes, I've never fit in with my age-peers.

When I was a little kid, my neighborhood playmates were kids two to four years younger than me. Kids my own age didn't like me.

When I was in my twenties, I managed to make a bunch of friends who were in their thirties and forties.


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IsabellaLinton
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18 Jul 2021, 4:08 pm

I'm the same as Mona. I get on with people a lot younger, like teens and people in their 20's. Most of my friends are quite a bit older, including previous boyfriends. I have very little in common with my own generation it seems.



Jamesy
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19 Jul 2021, 6:26 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm the same as Mona. I get on with people a lot younger, like teens and people in their 20's. Most of my friends are quite a bit older, including previous boyfriends. I have very little in common with my own generation it seems.



why do you think us aspires have little in common with our own generation?



Mona Pereth
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21 Jul 2021, 6:54 am

Jamesy wrote:
why do you think us aspires have little in common with our own generation?

Perhaps what's going on here is that people of our own generation expect to us to read their minds to a greater degree than people of other generations do, because they expect to have more in common with us.

A person who is only interested in making friends who are one's own age is also, likely, looking for people who have enough in common with them to be able to read their mind. Thus they are unlikely to be willing to communicate across an autistic/NT divide.

On the other hand, a person willing to be friends with people in other age groups is also less likely to expect mind-reading and thus better able to handle other differences as well.


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chaosmos
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22 Jul 2021, 6:57 am

My experience growing up was very similar to those mentioned here. I was always friends with boys that were 2-3 years younger than me and if they were my own age (rare), they were always boys and never girls.
High school was really tricky for me making and sustaining friends. I often felt really alone, misunderstood and felt like I didn’t understand why my peers socialised in the way they did. I always sought out the company of my younger male companions after school who didn’t attend the same school as me.
As an adult, I’ve often relied on my intimate partners for friends. It wasn’t until my late 20s when I became employed as a teacher and maintained my position at the school I’m still at did I start to make friends of my own really. They are varied in age but I tend towards enjoying the company of older adults (5-10 years older generally).



CockneyRebel
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12 Aug 2021, 1:41 pm

I have friends who are in their 50s to 70s. I'm in my 40s.


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Joe90
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12 Aug 2021, 3:26 pm

Join the club. I get so depressed about it.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Aug 2021, 3:29 pm

When I was about 10 years old, I used to like talking with the old ladies sitting on park benches even more than playing with my peers.

A friend is a friend is a friend. Age is just a number.



chaosmos
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12 Aug 2021, 7:51 pm

:)

kraftiekortie wrote:
When I was about 10 years old, I used to like talking with the old ladies sitting on park benches even more than playing with my peers.

A friend is a friend is a friend. Age is just a number.


Definitely agree with this!



auntblabby
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14 Aug 2021, 3:57 pm

younger and older but not same-age, has been the story of my runt of a social life. never could figure out why other than the fact that i was more mature than my peers.



DuckHairback
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15 Aug 2021, 2:42 pm

From a really young age I've always been more comfortable talking to older people. Grannies can't get enough of me. :heart:

It does make me sad that I don't seem to be able to connect with people my own age. I yearn for connection with people who are at a similar stage of life - it seems like it would be nice to share that.