Venting

Post Reply New Topic

I've been feeling more and more like s**t lately. Every time my mom gets mad at other people she takes it out on me, and if I can't meet her emotional needs (listening to her rant and cry about others she hates all the time, to the point I can't get even basic household and self care things done) she gets aggressive with me.

I missed a doctor's appointment to talk about my mental health because she psycho'd out on me and started getting physically aggressive with me the night before and the morning of it. I actually didn't cancel it though, and had left since I was legitimately scared she was going to try to beat the s**t out of me (she's gotten into fights with my dad and other siblings before), and decided to walk all the way there, but missed the appointment because it took too long to walk there by the time I left.

After that when I eventually came back home, I heard her telling people on the phone that I'm an abusive narcissist because I can't handle her doing this s**t to me, and her trying to get me into actual trouble with others (she said I yelled at her and was aggressive that entire time which is actually what she did to me, she was just trying to cover her own ass and trying to have me get into trouble so no one believes me if I tell anyone about it).

She also thinks it's fine to compare me to my dad and his family whenever she's mad at me, and assert that her other three kids (my half siblings besides for my fully related, also autistic brother) act completely fine (despite the fact they're also called narcissists behind their backs and I have to listen to her s**t talk them all the time), and that there's something genetically and neurologically wrong with me that makes me an "evil abuser".

I'm honestly suicidal (again, I know) because I'm tired of dealing with this s**t and I don't have anywhere to go, since I have no sane family members or any IRL friends. I was going to leave permanently when I left when she was getting physically aggressive with me, but the doctors office wasnt helpful at all when I did talk to them in person and I didn't know where to go or what to do. I'm genuinely worried she's going to severely harm me one day to put me in my place and no one seems to take me seriously.

My mom started throwing things around because I couldn't help her find something and then kicked me out a couple hours ago. I'm staying with my dad and aunt now, I guess. I'm worried about the pets because she doesn't take care of them at all and I'm the only one who does, but now I'm not there.

I'm really sorry to hear that Hero. I hope she apologises.

Edit: Whoa. I was responding to your second post. I didn't see the first one when I replied. I feel so badly for the hell you're living with. I wish there was something I could do or say to help. This is really upsetting.

Ok, so do you have any way to stay elsewhere?

At least until someone can help you get set up on your own?

Can't you go back and rescue your pets? I want to know that you and your pets are safe and happy.

She never really apologizes, and just tells me what I did wrong and why it's okay for her to act like this towards me. When I eventually move and live on my own I don't think I want any contact with her.


I'm with my dad and aunt now, since my mom got mad at me today and kicked me out. I would have come here before, but I was trying not to since my dad's an alcoholic and can be just as aggressive. I don't have anywhere else to go though so I guess I'm here now.


She said I can't take our dog with me, and my aunt also can't have any of them here because of her landlord. I'm not sure what to do about the pets. I might call animal control or something.

Steal the pets, for their own safety.

I hope you are covertly recording how she treats you if things ever go to court.

I would at least talk to them and ask for advice.

I'm gonna be honest, I've been doing that. I don't know if it's usable in court here since she isn't aware, but I've been recording it since the day I left last time. She lies about me so much to people that if I get in trouble over it I want to have proof that I'm not doing what she's saying I am.

I'm definitely going to do that.

Considering it's evidence of abuse you probably have more leeway than if it was recorded for some other purpose.

Better to have it than not.

I had a severe dissociative disorder, when I was younger and was abused mercilessly through gaslighting.
Having recorded events is a good way to verify one's sanity.

These days, I carry a bodycam whenever I leave the house.
Unsurprisingly, gang-stalking activity has virtually disappeared.
Psychopaths/sociopaths don't like video evidence of them engaging in criminal activity.

I'm trying to be very careful because if she knew I had recordings of her behaviour she'd freak out on me worse than she has now. I also dissociate heavily a lot of the time which is probably the only way I've been able to handle it so far.

You need to get a place of your own ASAP.
Are you on social security, education benefits, or have a job?

I don't have a job yet, but I've been trying to get one. I'm not on SSI or anything else.