Just being good at something has become the new ‘mediocre’

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firemonkey
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30 Jul 2021, 4:01 am

I fit in less and less in a world where getting less than A- on a test is increasingly seen by people as a ‘failure’. That’s not just 125+ IQ types expecting such scores. Admittedly it was a long time ago, but the best I got was a few B+. Just being good at something has become the new ‘mediocre’



Joe90
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30 Jul 2021, 8:21 am

The highest grade I got was a C. The rest were below. How do people manage to get As and Bs?


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Fnord
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30 Jul 2021, 8:34 am

Joe90 wrote:
[...] How do people manage to get As and Bs?
Study hard, know the subjects, do the homework (and turn it in on time), show up for class on time, and ace the tests.


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30 Jul 2021, 8:59 am

:twisted: My highest grade is also what seem to be equivalent to C and it was mostly around P.E. :lol: :lol: :lol:

The rest just fluctuates between D and C, barely away from F. Never go past B...

Oh wait, not when since I started at 3rd year high school where people starts leaving me alone, when I get to at least comprehend some of the language itself and got an average of B to C -- I wasn't serious still.

Also did once when I was in college and took some subjects into a real liking; which was an equivalent to A.



Nah.
I just never took academics or grades or even school as a whole too seriously.

In my elementary years...
Not entirely my fault then, because my language comprehension was poor and nobody seem to notice it.
Anyone concerned are all more worried about how I socialize than how I learn.

In former years in high school I've been dealing with pubescent mess, too focused on coping.

None of those nonsense since latter years of high school and on my way to college.
Except for one; I'm usually asleep in class half the time. :lol: :lol: :oops: :lol:



Also hell no.
The online classes of these recent years? And the kid's grades?

:lol: How does one is certain it's not their parents or guardians answering the handouts???
Because it's been the case from where I came from -- it had a lot of jokes about it too. :twisted:


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firemonkey
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30 Jul 2021, 9:29 am

I was a 3rd rate student at school. Even now I'm one of life's f*** ups



IsabellaLinton
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30 Jul 2021, 10:24 am

You're not a f*** up, firemonkey. You're a brilliant person coping very well despite childhood trauma, the loss of your wife, and having ASD / mental illness. You're also a very kind person.

I know you feel badly about your adaptive functioning skill. Is there some way you can work on one particular problem area, and ask for our support? What would you like to improve on?


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firemonkey
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30 Jul 2021, 11:50 am

How to do better at sequencing activities would be one. Strategies to improve executive functioning.



Joe90
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30 Jul 2021, 12:21 pm

Fnord wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
[...] How do people manage to get As and Bs?
Study hard, know the subjects, do the homework (and turn it in on time), show up for class on time, and ace the tests.


I found doing all that hard, despite receiving support through school. If I hadn't had support through school I would have failed completely.


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IsabellaLinton
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30 Jul 2021, 1:10 pm

firemonkey wrote:
How to do better at sequencing activities would be one. Strategies to improve executive functioning.


https://www.actcommunity.ca/resource/2998

I'll look into ideas, but here's a little to get you started. I'm thinking maybe write your activities on cards like playing cards. Your stepdaughter might be able to laminate them for you. Then you could arrange them in the sequence you think will work best for that day? You could move them around on the table to sort out your thinking of which steps should go first, second, third, etc. and then put the cards in that order, with a rubber band around them or a snap clip.

Is your difficulty more with prioritising what to do first, or is it more a challenge to switch between tasks with a definite beginning, middle, end? For me they're both an issue, but I think priorities are harder.


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30 Jul 2021, 1:31 pm

I make lists all the time, chores, bills to pay,shopping etc.,,It really helps me.Also writing stuff down on the calendar.
I was a complete failure in grade school, I was told by a teacher that I was too stupid to learn to read.Then around fifth grade it clicked and I was reading at an eighth grade level and now I read faster than anyone I know. I made A’s during high school in the subject’s I enjoyed.I never even studied for those.
But Algebra was my downfall.The only subject I failed.I felt like a complete idiot in that class.I don’t have a math brain.I wish I did.Math is an absolute truth.2 + 2 always equal 4.Math can’t lie.


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IsabellaLinton
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30 Jul 2021, 1:37 pm

Misslizard wrote:
I make lists all the time, chores, bills to pay,shopping etc.,,It really helps me.Also writing stuff down on the calendar.
I was a complete failure in grade school, I was told by a teacher that I was too stupid to learn to read.Then around fifth grade it clicked and I was reading at an eighth grade level and now I read faster than anyone I know. I made A’s during high school in the subject’s I enjoyed.I never even studied for those.
But Algebra was my downfall.The only subject I failed.I felt like a complete idiot in that class.I don’t have a math brain.I wish I did.Math is an absolute truth.2 + 2 always equal 4.Math can’t lie.


You're not a failure now. I think you're awesome Missliz. 8)

I've done well by buying a yearly planner book. I can plot out days, weeks, months, etc. and the important thing is I don't lose it like my previous scraps of paper which ended up all over the house. I like using a book and pen much better than digital calendars because it's fun to scribble things out when I'm done. I do keep appointments on my phone calendar but not daily stuff. I barely leave the house anyway, so I don't look at my phone much. I think in firemonkey's case pen and paper or calendars might be frustrating, if he has trouble putting activities in order and sequencing. That would be a lot of scribbles :P , so that's why I was thinking of cards. Some people use a white board which is erasable but even that might require constant erasing and rewriting.

I keep a snap clip on the current day in my planner so I don't even need to flip around for the right page. In the back of my planner I made a list of things I have to do every day like a routine, and it's also snap clipped for easy reference. It's stuff like: brush my hair, brush my teeth, feed the farm, change pet water, make my bed, do yoga, turn my phone on (it's off overnight), thaw something for supper, change into a different pair of pyjamas. 8)


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Joe90
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30 Jul 2021, 1:57 pm

I had severe attention/organisation difficulties that was never addressed (I was never diagnosed with ADHD). I found it so hard to pay attention, focus and remember things at school, particularly high school. I only got the homework done because I was scared of getting into trouble for not doing it (I had/have an anxiety disorder). I found it really hard to study for my final exams when I was 15-16. I just couldn't settle down and focus. I didn't even know where to start.
At the time I thought I was just lazy, but looking back it was because I struggled to organise my thoughts into tasks and prepare myself properly. Also I had obsessions with men that took over my mind, but I still would have had attention difficulties without the obsessions.


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firemonkey
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30 Jul 2021, 2:14 pm

For me it's definitely prioritising. The correct order of steps to do a task.



firemonkey
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30 Jul 2021, 2:26 pm

Thanks Isabella for the suggestions. Joe90 , I can fully empathise with your organisational difficulties at school. My school reports, as a teenager, often mentioned my being messy and disorganised. Like you there was no help for it.



Misslizard
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30 Jul 2021, 2:46 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
I make lists all the time, chores, bills to pay,shopping etc.,,It really helps me.Also writing stuff down on the calendar.
I was a complete failure in grade school, I was told by a teacher that I was too stupid to learn to read.Then around fifth grade it clicked and I was reading at an eighth grade level and now I read faster than anyone I know. I made A’s during high school in the subject’s I enjoyed.I never even studied for those.
But Algebra was my downfall.The only subject I failed.I felt like a complete idiot in that class.I don’t have a math brain.I wish I did.Math is an absolute truth.2 + 2 always equal 4.Math can’t lie.


You're not a failure now. I think you're awesome Missliz. 8)

I've done well by buying a yearly planner book. I can plot out days, weeks, months, etc. and the important thing is I don't lose it like my previous scraps of paper which ended up all over the house. I like using a book and pen much better than digital calendars because it's fun to scribble things out when I'm done. I do keep appointments on my phone calendar but not daily stuff. I barely leave the house anyway, so I don't look at my phone much. I think in firemonkey's case pen and paper or calendars might be frustrating, if he has trouble putting activities in order and sequencing. That would be a lot of scribbles :P , so that's why I was thinking of cards. Some people use a white board which is erasable but even that might require constant erasing and rewriting.

I keep a snap clip on the current day in my planner so I don't even need to flip around for the right page. In the back of my planner I made a list of things I have to do every day like a routine, and it's also snap clipped for easy reference. It's stuff like: brush my hair, brush my teeth, feed the farm, change pet water, make my bed, do yoga, turn my phone on (it's off overnight), thaw something for supper, change into a different pair of pyjamas. 8)

Thank you.
Those are great organizing tips.I also have scraps of paper all over the coffee table with lists.I should get a planner.


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30 Jul 2021, 3:06 pm

I hear there is "grade inflation," so the same quality of work gets higher grades nowadays. Used to be a C was supposed to be "average" work, but I don't think that is true anymore. It shouldn't be a failure to be average.


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