What's this type of social interaction called?

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Joe90
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01 Aug 2021, 1:38 pm

When people yell or argue with you, but they're totally on your side and are being nice. It's a pleasant sort of thing. I can't explain unless I use an example.

So here's an example. A few weeks ago I had taken a week off work, but a meeting was scheduled halfway through that week and I felt like I should go, even though I was on holiday. So I turned up for the meeting. The boss was pleased with me and said he'll pay me for two hours (even though the meeting was only about 40 minutes). I said he didn't have to, because I didn't mind coming in for the meeting. But he kind of yelled, "no, that's not the point - you bothered to show up to a meeting when you are supposed to be on holiday, the least I can do is pay you two hours worth." But he was not yelling in a negative way, he was yelling positively out of respect and gratitude, his tone of voice meant "well done for attending the meeting, I shall reward you with pay whether you didn't mind coming in or not. Thank you for your willingness." So in response to that I smiled, thinking how nice he was to appreciate me, and I said "OK, thank you."

Do you see what I mean? If I notice people in the thread don't quite get what I mean I'll write down another couple of examples.


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that1weirdgrrrl
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01 Aug 2021, 10:19 pm

I guess I would chock it up his personality and way of interacting with people.

Maybe a "quirk" of his?

Play fighting (like kittens)?

Aggressive appreciation.

I don't know; those are my best ideas :lol:


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funeralxempire
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01 Aug 2021, 10:31 pm

So basically, when people are excited over how pleased they are with you?


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starkid
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01 Aug 2021, 11:18 pm

I don't think that behavior has a special name.

It seems like he was just passionate about his opinion that you should be rewarded. People who feel passion get loud and boisterous sometimes, especially when they want to convince other people (he wanted to convince you that you should be paid).



Joe90
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02 Aug 2021, 5:10 am

I know what it is, I just thought there was a term for it. It's like they're jokingly arguing with you. I like when people do that.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2021, 5:22 am

That sort of irritates me—but I’ve gone along with it.

I don’t like “play fighting” or whatever.

To me, when I’m on holiday, I’m on holiday—full stop.

I wouldn’t break my holiday to attend a meeting.

But you felt like you had to do what you had to do….and I respect that.



A_minor
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04 Aug 2021, 2:44 pm

Exuberant enthusiasm?


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Joe90
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04 Aug 2021, 3:32 pm

A_minor wrote:
Exuberant enthusiasm?


Maybe...

Here's another example:-

Me: I gotta catch the bus in a moment
Friend: I'll give you a ride home if you like
Me: No, it's OK, don't trouble yourself, I'll get the bus
Friend: No, don't trouble yourself, I don't mind giving you a ride home at all
Me: Well, all right, thank you. But I'll give you some petrol (gas) money
Friend: No petrol money!
Me: Yes, I will, you're already taking the trouble to drive me home, the least I can do is give you some petrol money
Friend: You don't need to give me any petrol money
Me: Well, how about half?
Friend (jokingly walking away): I'm not going to give you a ride at all now, if you're going to be like that
Me (laughs): Are you sure you don't want any money for petrol?
Friend: (laughs) No, I told you, I'm happy to offer you a ride home

The examples are like arguing but not arguing. It comes from both parties being loyal to each other and there is no negative emotion involved, as it's all joke-arguing. I think that's the best I can explain it.


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funeralxempire
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04 Aug 2021, 3:47 pm

The more people like and trust each other more they can playfully antagonize each other without either viewing it as hostile, whether it's physically sparring, verbally prodding or otherwise just f*****g with each other.

People who like and trust each other can tolerate more because they both understand that no hostility is intended.


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A_minor
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04 Aug 2021, 5:17 pm

Joe90 wrote:
A_minor wrote:
Exuberant enthusiasm?


Maybe...

No :mrgreen:

I get what you mean now, but can't think of an official or often used description for it.


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Joe90
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04 Aug 2021, 6:01 pm

I suppose the nearest possible term to it is banter. Or compassionate protesting, or something. All very friendly and kind, not hostile at all. I like it when people do this.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Aug 2021, 5:52 am

It’s sort of oneupmanship—but in a well-intentioned way.

It’s sort of like haggling who is going to pay the cheque.



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06 Aug 2021, 8:13 am

it's insistant . the raise of voice is a way of establishing the point . even in a joking manner