Do people complain about the way you speak?

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Technic1
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04 Aug 2021, 12:38 am

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Do the shopping for me will you?

Or[b]CAN[b] you do the shopping for me?



Crystal1414
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04 Aug 2021, 12:40 am

Yes. They say they can't understand what I am saying and make me repeat things a lot. Its actually frustrating.



HeroOfHyrule
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04 Aug 2021, 1:01 am

When I was a kid I think I had to do some speech therapy. I had/still kind of have a speech impediment. I found paperwork from a meeting with my parents and some school staff in Kindergarten so they could get me assessed, and it had stuff about my speech issues in it, and I remember having to do things in special ed. for some of my problems.



HeroOfHyrule
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04 Aug 2021, 1:03 am

Crystal1414 wrote:
Yes. They say they can't understand what I am saying and make me repeat things a lot. Its actually frustrating.

People have me repeat things a lot, too, and it's super annoying. I can't always articulate things that well.



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04 Aug 2021, 1:04 am

I sometimes phrase things awkwardly, especially if I'm trying to explain something complex.


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04 Aug 2021, 1:33 am

I used to get speech therapy for a lisp and a few other things. They were corrected (And the one thing I got out of it was a few memorized speech therapy phrases and the ability to mimic two other types of lisp besides the type I had).

I am pretty articulate, but I also run into the issue of feeling like I am being really really clear, but something I said gets misunderstood because I apparently wasn't as clear, and that misunderstanding requires me to explain it over again...and then I end up in a loop of doing it until I get frustrated.

Doesn't happen all the time, but often enough that I get really miffed by it.



firemonkey
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04 Aug 2021, 3:05 am

Crystal1414 wrote:
Yes. They say they can't understand what I am saying and make me repeat things a lot. Its actually frustrating.


I've been told I have a loud voice. Yet I've lost count of the number of times people have misheard me, and I've had to repeat things.



shortfatbalduglyman
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04 Aug 2021, 9:15 am

Precious lil "people" act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention. Then when garbage comes out of my beak, they have the nerve to grunt "huh" and ""what" like they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

Precious lil "people" had the nerve to tell me I talked too much, not enough, too softly, too loud, too slowly

Judgmental and manipulative

They talk too much and too loud and there are too many of them

Annoying lil dipshits



Fnord
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04 Aug 2021, 9:19 am

People claim that the way I speak is boring, and that it is the reason why they ignore my warnings.

That is, until the "I told you so" moment comes around and they start looking for someone to blame.


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04 Aug 2021, 3:44 pm

My boyfriend says I "waffle on" too much. He reacts by interrupting and changing the subject. I hate when he does that. I don't waffle on about the same thing, it's just that I'm a chatty person and I enjoy conversations, and he's more of a reserved type. But he can waffle on to my family about things he's told us before in every detail.

The other night we were talking in bed, and the conversation got to talents we have. I told him about one of my talents, which is playing the keyboard. I've never talked about this before, so I was just casually telling him some of my keyboard-playing techniques. But he interrupted mid-sentence, deliberately changing the subject. I asked him why I did that, and he said "you were waffling on about playing the keyboard". It was dark so I couldn't see if he was bored or whatever, and even if you're not interested in that sort of thing it's still rude to just interrupt and change the subject.

I have no interest in birds at all but if someone was telling me about a type of bird they saw and some facts about it, I wouldn't rudely interrupt and say "you're waffling on about birds." I'd just listen politely. Or I may say "I don't have an interest in birds really" but still intend to let them tell me what they wanted to. Birds are so boring to me though!


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chaosmos
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04 Aug 2021, 3:48 pm

I always get too loud.



renaeden
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04 Aug 2021, 11:10 pm

I've been told that I talk too loud in public places.



kraftiekortie
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05 Aug 2021, 5:36 am

My wife is embarrassed when I talk to her rather loudly in supermarkets and such.



CinderashAutomaton
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05 Aug 2021, 5:50 am

Yes-ish. On some rare occasions people will complain about me using complicated words. Sometimes they'll flat out say I'm just trying to sound smart or shove it in their faces.

The complaints are typically just from people who hate thinking and learning more than they have to. IMO the complaints are sort of justified since that's just the way they live their life and it doesn't really directly hurt anybody. For reasons I'll mention soon, I know that the way I prefer speaking can be more arduous than average so if they're willing to put more effort than average into our communications, I'm happy to do my part. Communication is a two-way street.

The insults come from insecurities. Its not worth addressing. Just a "Sorry you think that way" and I move on.

Aside from that, though, I noticed two things.

1) People often note how I sometimes "talk like a textbook" as a point of interest, or even deride themselves for not knowing all the words I say. I'm not sure that this kind of thing has always been characteristic of me. As a kid I wouldn't have noticed. As an adult, though, I can say that it's definitely a product of spending so much time reading, reading more advanced texts, and discussing more advanced stuff. In particular, debating has gotten me to sharpen my explication skills, to reduce the chance of misunderstanding.

I don't always talk like that, of course. I have many speech styles. They all suit different purposes. I'm not sure whether its all a good or bad thing overall. I just need to remind myself every once in awhile that I need make my communications more accessible. It does no good to alienate people.

2) I've noticed that most people tend to gravitate around a smaller concentration of common words and phrases, and that my tendency towards more words and novel sentence structures makes me harder to understand. I often have to repeat the more novel stuff, and in general people need to concentrate more on what I'm saying. And, of course, this often leads to many misunderstandings.

This has often left me noticing the contrasts of 'common' culture and novel composition in people. A lot can be said on that topic so I'll just leave there.

---

Overall, feedback seems to suggest I'm kind of an 'intense', wordy person. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just kind of my character and I've gotten more love than hate for it. Depends on how you use it, I guess. It served me well when I was dating.


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05 Aug 2021, 9:30 pm

CinderashAutomaton wrote:
Overall, feedback seems to suggest I'm kind of an 'intense', wordy person. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just kind of my character and I've gotten more love than hate for it. Depends on how you use it, I guess. It served me well when I was dating.


I can relate to this. I have always been a wordy person, and have been told I am overly articulate/verbose. I *did* have several people note this when I was younger. I tended to come off as a literary braniac and had an affinity for word usage that was years above my level. It alienated quite a few of my peers (but endeared me towards several of my teachers. Not all...several felt threatened by it).

As an adult, sometimes it bothers people. Sometimes it goes by unnoticed. I have found that the people I spend time with are ones who either don't care that I am extremely articulate, or are themselves equally as articulate.

I do have a few friends who don't use the proper words in phrasing. It bugs the heck out of me, but I try not to let it overwhelm me to the point of correcting them.



chaosmos
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05 Aug 2021, 9:36 pm

Something Profound wrote:
CinderashAutomaton wrote:
Overall, feedback seems to suggest I'm kind of an 'intense', wordy person. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just kind of my character and I've gotten more love than hate for it. Depends on how you use it, I guess. It served me well when I was dating.


I can relate to this. I have always been a wordy person, and have been told I am overly articulate/verbose. I *did* have several people note this when I was younger. I tended to come off as a literary braniac and had an affinity for word usage that was years above my level. It alienated quite a few of my peers (but endeared me towards several of my teachers. Not all...several felt threatened by it).

As an adult, sometimes it bothers people. Sometimes it goes by unnoticed. I have found that the people I spend time with are ones who either don't care that I am extremely articulate, or are themselves equally as articulate.

I do have a few friends who don't use the proper words in phrasing. It bugs the heck out of me, but I try not to let it overwhelm me to the point of correcting them.


This resonates with me too. I was much too articulate for my peers and frequently sought the company of adults where I felt like I fit in more when I was a child/teenager. The kids I did hang out with never really cared too much about the way I spoke, but given that most of them were boys, I don't think they really cared too much. Girls were always more threatened by me for some reason. I was frequently labelled as too intense or that they didn't understand me.