Do people complain about the way you speak?

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Danusaurus
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05 Aug 2021, 10:54 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I sometimes phrase things awkwardly, especially if I'm trying to explain something complex.


Same here.. then sometimes I get lost in my rephrasing and either forget where I was up to in my explanation and sometimes I have to let it fly out a million miles an hour to construct what I think would make sense to someone whom I'm explaining it to .. resulting in confusion often and leaving the same outcome.. and sometimes it's a long winded explanation which is a quality I despise in some people that don't have this issue. I think it's called envy. :?



CinderashAutomaton
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06 Aug 2021, 10:57 am

Danusaurus wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
I sometimes phrase things awkwardly, especially if I'm trying to explain something complex.


Same here.. then sometimes I get lost in my rephrasing and either forget where I was up to in my explanation and sometimes I have to let it fly out a million miles an hour to construct what I think would make sense to someone whom I'm explaining it to .. resulting in confusion often and leaving the same outcome.. and sometimes it's a long winded explanation which is a quality I despise in some people that don't have this issue. I think it's called envy. :?


One method I learned that can manage that is to write down key points before or even while explaining. For me it acts like a kind of map so I can better keep track of where I'm at and where I need to go, and to just keep the overall picture in mind.

Helps keep me from making faux-pas', like proverbially spinning in place, wandering off the trail or just straight up paddling down the river never to be seen again.

Honestly, keeping a notepad with me for all kinds of uses has been one of the biggest helps for all kinds of issues, especially aspie issues.


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ToughDiamond
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06 Aug 2021, 9:43 pm

I think I was told not to mumble, a long time ago, but I didn't know how bad it was until I heard myself on a tape recording. Since then I think I've corrected it through a lot of practice in reading aloud, and copying other people's intonation here and there, and just remembering to inject a bit of animation into what I say.

A few people have complained about my talking for too long, again quite a long time ago. Unfortunately they were all quite rude about it so I suppose my pride stopped me listening to their "advice" and I was more concerned with how they could be such jerks. More recently I noticed a few people would interrupt me, but by then I'd figured out that they were probably within their rights (I hate it when anybody talks away at me for ages, so if I get interrupted then it's my own fault for hogging the airtime). And I began to notice that some people would look uncomfortable if I talked for a long time. So I gradually managed to reduce it, and I like to think it's mostly fixed these days. I'll probably never be a man of few words, but I'm not pathologically verbose any more. I still prefer to be with people who like having detailed conversations, just because it's easier for me and it's nice when the details I supply are appreciated.



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07 Aug 2021, 5:25 pm

LINK on Receptive Aphasia, also Known as Sensory Aphasia, and the clinical term, Wernicke's Aphasia.

LINK: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Receptive_aphasia



hmk66
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08 Aug 2021, 3:36 pm

People think (and sometimes tell me) that I speak too fast. I am an extremely fast thinker, and sometimes my sentences are a mess (not only in case of speaking, but also in case of writing, but in forum messages I can correct it).

I think people are very bad listeners. They like talking a bit too much, to me. They tell me a story, and I am willing to listen. Then I say one sentence, and then they want to talk and talk again. It is sometimes annoying. They seem not to listen.

At the other hand, I am always described as a very good listener. I do pay attention to people. I memorize a lot very well, and I know I have a very good memory. I experienced that at school when I was a child. The teacher tells something, and the next day she repeats that again. I wonder why, because a day ago, she told that, too. Why does she repeat?

Colleagues also often describe me as very social, and very joyful. They sometimes tell: "Hans, if you are sick, and therefore not at work, the lunch breaks are dull! With you there is some life during the breaks!"



JustFoundHere
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15 Aug 2021, 4:13 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
LINK on Receptive Aphasia, also Known as Sensory Aphasia, and the clinical term, Wernicke's Aphasia.

LINK: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Receptive_aphasia


ADDENDUM: Receptive Aphasia brings difficulties in understanding, and expressing written and spoken language - which is often interpreted as confusing.



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15 Aug 2021, 4:42 pm

Something Profound wrote:
CinderashAutomaton wrote:
Overall, feedback seems to suggest I'm kind of an 'intense', wordy person. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just kind of my character and I've gotten more love than hate for it. Depends on how you use it, I guess. It served me well when I was dating.


I can relate to this. I have always been a wordy person, and have been told I am overly articulate/verbose. I *did* have several people note this when I was younger. I tended to come off as a literary braniac and had an affinity for word usage that was years above my level. It alienated quite a few of my peers (but endeared me towards several of my teachers. Not all...several felt threatened by it).

As an adult, sometimes it bothers people. Sometimes it goes by unnoticed. I have found that the people I spend time with are ones who either don't care that I am extremely articulate, or are themselves equally as articulate.

I do have a few friends who don't use the proper words in phrasing. It bugs the heck out of me, but I try not to let it overwhelm me to the point of correcting them.


Yes, I'm this type. I think it came from a deep sense that people didn't understand what I was trying to say when I was young, so I made a deliberate effort to develop a wide vocabularly and use very precise language. But because I use words that others don't typically in conversation it's actually a hinderance to communication.

I don't talk well, I talk too fast and have difficulty ordering my thoughts. I much prefer to write.



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18 Aug 2021, 4:47 am

People say I sound bossy. I don't think that's a problem. Someone has to be bossy or nothing will get done, right? :) I do clash horribly with other bossy people. Such is the way of life. People have got to have conflicts and resolve them all the time. Those who thinks conflicts are horrible and need to be avoided would just upset themselves by reality.


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18 Aug 2021, 11:17 am

People tell me that I'm too honest, or that I'm very blunt. My mum told me not to piss off the people that serve me when I told her about the pharmacist telling me to come back in a couple days to get the rest of my prescriptions. That I asked if the pills didn't arrive because of the slower delivery times because of Covid. My mum told me I was mean for asking that.

People over the age of 80 seem to hate the way I talk in general. I won't get into that.


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ToughDiamond
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18 Aug 2021, 1:41 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
People tell me that I'm too honest, or that I'm very blunt. My mum told me not to piss off the people that serve me when I told her about the pharmacist telling me to come back in a couple days to get the rest of my prescriptions. That I asked if the pills didn't arrive because of the slower delivery times because of Covid. My mum told me I was mean for asking that.

People over the age of 80 seem to hate the way I talk in general. I won't get into that.

I don't see anything rude about asking what you did. Unless you were very sarcastic about it, you were offering them an excuse for the delay. Even directly asking "why the delay?" doesn't seem rude to me, when it's about a service. If they have a good reason they can explain what it was. Otherwise what are we supposed to do, stop questioning poor service for fear of seeming impolite?



romaco99
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18 Aug 2021, 2:17 pm

Yes!! !!
People get frustrated that I talk too quietly...
I think I'm afraid of being too annoying or too loud... as when I was younger I found loud in-your-face people a real sensory-overload... and I was also REALLY embarrassed when I was with those people too.... :o some of my family (suspected asd) are really loud in public and I found it really traumatic especially as a young teen.... :|
(I know this is bad... I think I'm over it now.... loud people... I love you... you do you Ok!....)


I also ramble when I'm nervous... If I could write my replies to people I'd be perfectly articulate but unfortunately things come out in a jumble. I often have mock conversations in my head...

I also do a weird laughing thing where I laugh slightly after I say things... I think to be neurotypically appealing or something...? maybe I'm just nervous I honestly don't have a clue....



AnonymousAnonymous
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19 Aug 2021, 7:13 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
People tell me that I'm too honest, or that I'm very blunt.


This sometimes happens to me too, but honesty is better than deception, right?


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chaosmos
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19 Aug 2021, 7:43 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
People tell me that I'm too honest, or that I'm very blunt.


This sometimes happens to me too, but honesty is better than deception, right?


I often get too honest too. Not considerate. No filter. :|