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A_minor
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 23 Jul 2021
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 140
Location: Netherlands

06 Sep 2021, 6:13 am

Dang! Completely missed this... :?

Mona Pereth wrote:
A_minor wrote:
I'd add this to Foundations of friendship: Accepting, forgiving (and eventually understanding) each other's oddities and faults.

Is it okay if I quote or refer to the above and credit you on either my website or my blog?

You may quote or refer as you see fit :D

Mona Pereth wrote:
I'm not sure I would regard it as a distinct "foundation of friendship," though. It overlaps to some extent with #2, "Emotional sharing / intimacy. Emotional support, sympathy, mutual understanding, and freedom to be (relatively) unmasked."

Agreed.

Mona Pereth wrote:
Indeed, "Accepting, forgiving (and eventually understanding) each other's oddities and faults" seems to me to be a prerequisite to emotional intimacy. People are not likely to feel "emotional support, sympathy, mutual understanding, and freedom to be (relatively) unmasked" if they are worried about being judged by the other person.

True. My avoidant personality disorder makes it harder to believe someone is genuinely supportive, sympathetic and understanding, also there are people who only act that way but only seek company just to fulfill a personal need, I find it difficult to determine which people. As a result I keep most people at a distance, so I ended up with only two friends, but at least I know they are true friends.


_________________
ASD, ADD, Avoidant Personality Disorder and Dysthymia, diagnosed 2017.


DuckHairback
Toucan
Toucan

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Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 42
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Location: Dorset

06 Sep 2021, 6:36 am

TenMinutes wrote:
A friend is someone who enjoys your company enough to occasionally seek it.


This is also the definition I use. It's how I know I don't have any friends. I will make contact with others and they will usually respond, but no one ever initiates contact with me.

As others have noted it isn't a complete definition of friendship by any length, but it's a litmus test.