Are Christian girls more judgemental in non-religious topics

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QFT
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19 Oct 2021, 11:10 am

Nades wrote:
On the subject of sexuality I have found them to be very judgemental but only the ones I met so far.

The ones in question I found very untrustworthy and deceptive. They intentionally lied about what they wanted in a relationship and tried to string me along.

After watching them for years they seemed to make a habit of stringing people along in celibate relationships indefinitely.


In my case I don't want sex before marriage, myself. So this is a plus, not a minus.

In fact, I had the opposite issue. The two long-term girlfriends OTHER THAN the devote Christian one, first agreed not to have sex, but then half a year or a year later started pushing for sex. I didn't give in but it was really frustrating.

Nades wrote:
They knew full well they were useless as both wife's or girlfriends (as are many highly religious folk, both male or female).


Why would you say that not wanting sex before marriage would make them useless?

First of all, life is not all about sex. And, secondly, they WILL have sex AFTER marriage. Yet you say they are "useless as wifes".

Nades wrote:
Anyone who started dating at 30 despite seemingly being able to do so far earlier needs to be given a wide berth.


She was not hiding anything. She told me straight out why she wasn't dating before: cause most guys weren't up to her moral standards. So I don't see anything to be suspicious of, seeing that she was clearly honest about her life.

Nades wrote:
30 years old and never had a proper date?
A virgin despite being able to lose it sooner?
Paranoid over a Skype malfunction?
Immediately thinks you're cheating over such a trivial problem?
A religious fruit cake?


I disagree with your including all those items together.

As far as I see it, Items 1, 2 and 5 are perfectly reasonable, while Items 3 and 4 are silly. So its rather sad that IN HER CASE, they were all combined. If she were to ONLY have 1, 2 and 5, WITHOUT having 3 and 4, things would have been perfect.

Nades wrote:
Sounds like she's a 5 year old in an adult body. Perhaps you should tell her that she's a little brat and it's about she should grow up?


I wouldn't say she is a brat because she was really patient when it comes to everything ELSE. For example, most girls don't like when I keep talking about myself and whine. She was perfectly willing to sit and listen to it for hours (although she didn't have a lot of useful things to say to that, she would just sit there and listen). But the moment I accidentally drop a cuss word or a skype malfunctions, THEN its a big deal.

I think what happened is that she was "taught" certain things (such as not to use cuss words) so the moment I go against something she was "taught" she would have to make a big deal out of it. But nobody taught her that whining is bad, thats why I can whine all I want without any negative reaction. Likewise, nobody ever taught her how to respond to whining either, thats why she would just sit and listen without saying much.

So she isn't being a brat. She simply doesn't have her own opinion and goes by what she was taught.

I am not sure though as to where they taught her to be suspicious when skype malfunctions. Yet it still feels that way. I mean why else would she be so perfectly fine with everything else yet make a big deal out of this one?

And also THE WAY in which she made a big deal wasn't typical either. It didn't even sound like she was upset at all. Instead it sounded like she was bored with my monologue and was getting disracted. So skype seemed like just one random irrelevancy she got disracted by. But then when I tried to brush aside her skype comment so that I can continue with my monologue, then suddenly skype became a big deal.

Now, if she was *truly* upset about skype, why did she sound so calm when she made a comment about it at first? Thats why it doesn't feel like she was truly upset. It feels like she was just going by what she was taught. Although of course I don't know why her parents would teach her to be paranoid about skype malfunctions.

But if anyone taught her, it would be her parents, cause despite her being 30 she still lived at home, they lived in a small village and her family were the only people she was interacting with. Well, she was also working at Sonic but I doubt she would have been influenced by her customers because when I used cuss words she said "I heard enough cuss words at Sonic and now I hear it from you" (so it kinda shows her attitude towards people at Sonic, or anyone else outside her family for that matter).

P.S. In this thread I talked about at least 3 different girls, so please don't confuse them:

a) The girl in 2012 -- 2014 (the one I just talked about) lives in America and she is Southern Baptist. She was the one that had issues with my skype malfunction. I haven't heard from her after she broke up with me in 2014

b) The girl this summer also lives in America and she is Hebrew roots. She also got paranoid over little things (no not skype malfunctions but rather my hanging up on her to hide her from my mom). I haven't heard from her since August

c) The girl I just started talking to few days ago lives in Britain. She is Hebrew Roots as well. With her I also had skype issues. But, unlike two other girls, she didn't get paranoid about them. So far things seem fine. But again it only been few days.



Nades
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19 Oct 2021, 11:50 am

QFT wrote:
Nades wrote:
On the subject of sexuality I have found them to be very judgemental but only the ones I met so far.

The ones in question I found very untrustworthy and deceptive. They intentionally lied about what they wanted in a relationship and tried to string me along.

After watching them for years they seemed to make a habit of stringing people along in celibate relationships indefinitely.


In my case I don't want sex before marriage, myself. So this is a plus, not a minus.

In fact, I had the opposite issue. The two long-term girlfriends OTHER THAN the devote Christian one, first agreed not to have sex, but then half a year or a year later started pushing for sex. I didn't give in but it was really frustrating.

Nades wrote:
They knew full well they were useless as both wife's or girlfriends (as are many highly religious folk, both male or female).


Why would you say that not wanting sex before marriage would make them useless?

First of all, life is not all about sex. And, secondly, they WILL have sex AFTER marriage. Yet you say they are "useless as wifes".

Nades wrote:
Anyone who started dating at 30 despite seemingly being able to do so far earlier needs to be given a wide berth.


She was not hiding anything. She told me straight out why she wasn't dating before: cause most guys weren't up to her moral standards. So I don't see anything to be suspicious of, seeing that she was clearly honest about her life.

Nades wrote:
30 years old and never had a proper date?
A virgin despite being able to lose it sooner?
Paranoid over a Skype malfunction?
Immediately thinks you're cheating over such a trivial problem?
A religious fruit cake?


I disagree with your including all those items together.

As far as I see it, Items 1, 2 and 5 are perfectly reasonable, while Items 3 and 4 are silly. So its rather sad that IN HER CASE, they were all combined. If she were to ONLY have 1, 2 and 5, WITHOUT having 3 and 4, things would have been perfect.

Nades wrote:
Sounds like she's a 5 year old in an adult body. Perhaps you should tell her that she's a little brat and it's about she should grow up?


I wouldn't say she is a brat because she was really patient when it comes to everything ELSE. For example, most girls don't like when I keep talking about myself and whine. She was perfectly willing to sit and listen to it for hours (although she didn't have a lot of useful things to say to that, she would just sit there and listen). But the moment I accidentally drop a cuss word or a skype malfunctions, THEN its a big deal.

I think what happened is that she was "taught" certain things (such as not to use cuss words) so the moment I go against something she was "taught" she would have to make a big deal out of it. But nobody taught her that whining is bad, thats why I can whine all I want without any negative reaction. Likewise, nobody ever taught her how to respond to whining either, thats why she would just sit and listen without saying much.

So she isn't being a brat. She simply doesn't have her own opinion and goes by what she was taught.

I am not sure though as to where they taught her to be suspicious when skype malfunctions. Yet it still feels that way. I mean why else would she be so perfectly fine with everything else yet make a big deal out of this one?

And also THE WAY in which she made a big deal wasn't typical either. It didn't even sound like she was upset at all. Instead it sounded like she was bored with my monologue and was getting disracted. So skype seemed like just one random irrelevancy she got disracted by. But then when I tried to brush aside her skype comment so that I can continue with my monologue, then suddenly skype became a big deal.

Now, if she was *truly* upset about skype, why did she sound so calm when she made a comment about it at first? Thats why it doesn't feel like she was truly upset. It feels like she was just going by what she was taught. Although of course I don't know why her parents would teach her to be paranoid about skype malfunctions.

But if anyone taught her, it would be her parents, cause despite her being 30 she still lived at home, they lived in a small village and her family were the only people she was interacting with. Well, she was also working at Sonic but I doubt she would have been influenced by her customers because when I used cuss words she said "I heard enough cuss words at Sonic and now I hear it from you" (so it kinda shows her attitude towards people at Sonic, or anyone else outside her family for that matter).

P.S. In this thread I talked about at least 3 different girls, so please don't confuse them:

a) The girl in 2012 -- 2014 (the one I just talked about) lives in America and she is Southern Baptist. She was the one that had issues with my skype malfunction. I haven't heard from her after she broke up with me in 2014

b) The girl this summer also lives in America and she is Hebrew roots. She also got paranoid over little things (no not skype malfunctions but rather my hanging up on her to hide her from my mom). I haven't heard from her since August

c) The girl I just started talking to few days ago lives in Britain. She is Hebrew Roots as well. With her I also had skype issues. But, unlike two other girls, she didn't get paranoid about them. So far things seem fine. But again it only been few days.


I'm just mentioning the limited number of religious women I've met so far. They have all been tremendously immature and I think it's a result of the sheltered life rather than coincidence. I have the feeling that overall religious people in general and not just women often fail to develop any objective and realistic views on non-religious topics.

In particular, the subject of romance and dating has been hard wired in their head to be dirty unless married. The problem is how to unwire that mess if someone gets married at a late age? You're in your 40s and realistically you want to start a relationship with women in their 30s? That tangled mess will never be unwired by then.

I also find extremely religious people more easy to offend, more bossy and less capable compared to their non-religious peers. It varies a lot but overall that seems to be the case.



QFT
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19 Oct 2021, 10:10 pm

Nades wrote:
QFT wrote:
Nades wrote:
On the subject of sexuality I have found them to be very judgemental but only the ones I met so far.

The ones in question I found very untrustworthy and deceptive. They intentionally lied about what they wanted in a relationship and tried to string me along.

After watching them for years they seemed to make a habit of stringing people along in celibate relationships indefinitely.


In my case I don't want sex before marriage, myself. So this is a plus, not a minus.

In fact, I had the opposite issue. The two long-term girlfriends OTHER THAN the devote Christian one, first agreed not to have sex, but then half a year or a year later started pushing for sex. I didn't give in but it was really frustrating.

Nades wrote:
They knew full well they were useless as both wife's or girlfriends (as are many highly religious folk, both male or female).


Why would you say that not wanting sex before marriage would make them useless?

First of all, life is not all about sex. And, secondly, they WILL have sex AFTER marriage. Yet you say they are "useless as wifes".

Nades wrote:
Anyone who started dating at 30 despite seemingly being able to do so far earlier needs to be given a wide berth.


She was not hiding anything. She told me straight out why she wasn't dating before: cause most guys weren't up to her moral standards. So I don't see anything to be suspicious of, seeing that she was clearly honest about her life.

Nades wrote:
30 years old and never had a proper date?
A virgin despite being able to lose it sooner?
Paranoid over a Skype malfunction?
Immediately thinks you're cheating over such a trivial problem?
A religious fruit cake?


I disagree with your including all those items together.

As far as I see it, Items 1, 2 and 5 are perfectly reasonable, while Items 3 and 4 are silly. So its rather sad that IN HER CASE, they were all combined. If she were to ONLY have 1, 2 and 5, WITHOUT having 3 and 4, things would have been perfect.

Nades wrote:
Sounds like she's a 5 year old in an adult body. Perhaps you should tell her that she's a little brat and it's about she should grow up?


I wouldn't say she is a brat because she was really patient when it comes to everything ELSE. For example, most girls don't like when I keep talking about myself and whine. She was perfectly willing to sit and listen to it for hours (although she didn't have a lot of useful things to say to that, she would just sit there and listen). But the moment I accidentally drop a cuss word or a skype malfunctions, THEN its a big deal.

I think what happened is that she was "taught" certain things (such as not to use cuss words) so the moment I go against something she was "taught" she would have to make a big deal out of it. But nobody taught her that whining is bad, thats why I can whine all I want without any negative reaction. Likewise, nobody ever taught her how to respond to whining either, thats why she would just sit and listen without saying much.

So she isn't being a brat. She simply doesn't have her own opinion and goes by what she was taught.

I am not sure though as to where they taught her to be suspicious when skype malfunctions. Yet it still feels that way. I mean why else would she be so perfectly fine with everything else yet make a big deal out of this one?

And also THE WAY in which she made a big deal wasn't typical either. It didn't even sound like she was upset at all. Instead it sounded like she was bored with my monologue and was getting disracted. So skype seemed like just one random irrelevancy she got disracted by. But then when I tried to brush aside her skype comment so that I can continue with my monologue, then suddenly skype became a big deal.

Now, if she was *truly* upset about skype, why did she sound so calm when she made a comment about it at first? Thats why it doesn't feel like she was truly upset. It feels like she was just going by what she was taught. Although of course I don't know why her parents would teach her to be paranoid about skype malfunctions.

But if anyone taught her, it would be her parents, cause despite her being 30 she still lived at home, they lived in a small village and her family were the only people she was interacting with. Well, she was also working at Sonic but I doubt she would have been influenced by her customers because when I used cuss words she said "I heard enough cuss words at Sonic and now I hear it from you" (so it kinda shows her attitude towards people at Sonic, or anyone else outside her family for that matter).

P.S. In this thread I talked about at least 3 different girls, so please don't confuse them:

a) The girl in 2012 -- 2014 (the one I just talked about) lives in America and she is Southern Baptist. She was the one that had issues with my skype malfunction. I haven't heard from her after she broke up with me in 2014

b) The girl this summer also lives in America and she is Hebrew roots. She also got paranoid over little things (no not skype malfunctions but rather my hanging up on her to hide her from my mom). I haven't heard from her since August

c) The girl I just started talking to few days ago lives in Britain. She is Hebrew Roots as well. With her I also had skype issues. But, unlike two other girls, she didn't get paranoid about them. So far things seem fine. But again it only been few days.


I'm just mentioning the limited number of religious women I've met so far. They have all been tremendously immature and I think it's a result of the sheltered life rather than coincidence. I have the feeling that overall religious people in general and not just women often fail to develop any objective and realistic views on non-religious topics.

In particular, the subject of romance and dating has been hard wired in their head to be dirty unless married. The problem is how to unwire that mess if someone gets married at a late age? You're in your 40s and realistically you want to start a relationship with women in their 30s? That tangled mess will never be unwired by then.

I also find extremely religious people more easy to offend, more bossy and less capable compared to their non-religious peers. It varies a lot but overall that seems to be the case.


As far as girl "a" (in the quote above), she was, in fact, raised sheltered. So I can explain her pickiness with skype from this point of view. HOWEVER, as far as girl "b", she wasn't raised that way. Instead, she came to that belief system later in life. Yet she ended up acting very similar to girl "a". So I am not sure why coming to faith as an adult would "rewrite history" and make her act "just as if" she was sheltered. Yet that's how it felt like.



cyberdad
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20 Oct 2021, 7:17 pm

QFT wrote:
However, once I did get into relationships, I found myself trying to persuade the women I was with to go to college. No, I wasn't outright telling them to get ph.d. in physics: I knew it was too much to ask. But I was trying to find more deplomatic ways to persuade them to get more educated.


Why are you doing this?? it's downright weird to ask a girl to go to College.