Ways in which NTs and Aspies are the same?

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Jayo
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08 Aug 2021, 12:04 pm

I know that on these discussion boards, there's all this talk about how ASD/HFA folks ("Aspies" to use the old term) are different from neurotypicals and how we try to bridge the gaps in communication and what-not, but in what ways are we the same as them?

I realize some of the similarities may come about more "artificially", like from masking - as I've done from an early age even pre-diagnosis when I realized something wasn't right, and I had a strong motivation to become intimate with women (my techniques worked to a fairly good extent, BTW) - but I believe there are still some ways in which we think the same. IF I could venture a few:

1) General desire for social harmony, to get along (i.e. most of us are not "Cluster B" personalities)

2) Similar attitudes against recklessness (not counting some 18-19-year-olds that we might have known!!)

3) Similar desire to "nip things in the bud" instead of ignoring them ( but this is context-dependent...I'm not including situations where an Aspie misses non-verbal hints and the NT keeps on with the same approach...) :roll: :x

4) IF someone needs help or a favour, and openly expresses that need (not leaving you to guess or intuit), then there's an equal desire to help that person (as long as the person has a "clean slate", and it's not a huge favour).

5) Similar responses towards humour, from various sources (like Will Ferrell or Sasha Baron Cohen movies, or Monty Python, Dilbert, Calvin & Hobbes, Mad Magazine)... I have used this as a bonding mechanism with NTs in my early days and even got mildly popular doing humour of my own at parties :) as long as it wasn't mocking certain groups like military, or racial or ethnic groups, or "dumb jocks", it was fine. Lawyers and bureaucrats were "fair game", especially when mocking lack of common sense policies and such. :D

6) Feeling vindictive or vengeful towards those who have wronged us, or not giving a s*** towards a rude or bullying person like a housemate, colleague or boss, etc., essentially the desire to engage in passive-aggressive behaviour. I've felt vindictive towards others who've treated me badly, just as an NT would do in such a situation (and I've commiserated with NTs in sharing stories about "people from hell"). I even shared revenge stories with them , but what I did wasn't illegal, just really embarrassing or unpleasant towards the person who'd wronged me, e.g. I'd revealed some secret of theirs to the "wrong" person, with evidence - no blackmail, just going for the jugular. And over this, I actually bonded more with the NTs :D

As I've often heard some commenters on various threads say, "what you describe is not an NT or an AS thing - it's just an individual person thing" - meaning the behaviour someone described from someone else wasn't predicated on anything THEY (the poster) did -or, conversely, when they (the poster) reacted a certain way to something, the follow-up poster said that this would have likely been the NT reaction as well, that there was nothing "weird" about their reaction.



Joe90
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08 Aug 2021, 1:27 pm

This may surprise a lot of Aspies here, but it is actually common in NTs to not always know what to say to someone who is upset or grieving.
My aunt, (a very outgoing NT), has a friend who recently lost a young child about a week ago, and she still hasn't texted her because she's not sure what to say.
Also I've seen NTs stand awkwardly not knowing what to do or what to say when someone else has been crying their eyes out.

Trust me, it's common.


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Fenn
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08 Aug 2021, 1:36 pm

If you cut us do we now bleed? So do they.


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Harry Haller
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08 Aug 2021, 1:38 pm

I discern no difference.
Same human traits - laudable and otherwise.



hurtloam
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08 Aug 2021, 1:49 pm

Most people love animals. Aspies and NTs have pets and enjoy watching animal videos online.



funeralxempire
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08 Aug 2021, 3:17 pm

Based on my observations I believe these Entees as you refer to them are our closest relatives out of all living ape species.

In fact the only discernible difference I see is that they seem to be more social. :nerdy:


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Jayo
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08 Aug 2021, 3:20 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Based on my observations I believe these Entees as you refer to them are our closest relatives out of all living ape species.

In fact the only discernible difference I see is that they seem to be more social. :nerdy:


Or that they are more "socially privileged".
The fallacy in that statement is that they are more equipped with the innate tools to be social with others, so they get more of the reward-response chemicals going as a result. The statement is akin to saying that non-dyslexics enjoy reading more. In other words, it transcends personality traits.



Joe90
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08 Aug 2021, 3:22 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Most people love animals. Aspies and NTs have pets and enjoy watching animal videos online.


I know NTs who literally treat their pets like they're their children, and these people aren't lonely. They have family, spouse, kids and friends, but they still get their dog or cat or rabbit or whatever a birthday present or even a card each year and stuff like that.


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Joe90
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08 Aug 2021, 3:44 pm

I love the stereotypes people here define all NTs with.

"All NTs talk about is sport"
"NTs have no interests" (kind of contradicts the above)
"All NTs do is gossip and socialise 24/7"
"NTs hate nature, routine, silence, learning, reading and everything else except socialising"
"NTs are stupid"
"NT children have no innocence"
"NTs only dream about flying"
"NTs lie all the time"
"All NTs are the same"
"All NTs are moved out, married and have good jobs before they get to 20"
"NTs cannot draw or play a musical instrument"
"Everything NTs do they're doing to manipulate other people"
"NTs are out to get Aspies and we should never trust them because of their brilliant lies"
"NTs never have to think about anything because everything comes naturally"
"NTs are dog people"
"Both NT males and females express their emotions the same"
"All NTs grieve in exactly the same way"
"NTs are only in the careers they are in because of the money, not because they like it"
"All NTs have sex by age 15"

I could go on forever.


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Technic1
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08 Aug 2021, 8:57 pm

There is no such thing as neurotipical…only people ‘trying’ to act normal.

Born
Average grades at school
Date
Get a job
Get married
Have children (after marriage)
Retire
Die

A dog helps too.

No symptoms of mental illness

No above or below average anything. That wouldn’t be typical.

I can’t think of one person who is neuro typical.

Can you name one?

An astronaut?

..im going to attach myself to a rocket and blast off into space, loopy…

A soldier? I’m going to risk my life for £24,000 a year so that I can kill people.

A doctor? ‘I don’t believe in God, aliens, magick, telepathy, military space craft, and the idea that anyone is truly sane is wrong ’…they think it’s not true.

Do YOU know anyone who has NO issues?

Besides there are as many autistics as there are people with foreign blood..we interbred.

I think you are referring to a certain species of man when you say ‘neuro typical’ which one I’m not sure.

I haven’t found a neuro typical yet.



Edna3362
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08 Aug 2021, 9:22 pm

There are several fundamental stuff that generally makes a human, that most diagnosis are no exception of. :lol:

That includes the psyche and neurology.
It ranges from usual human prone to bias and degrees of sense of identity, reactions and state like stages within the same references.

Better if any NT goes through the same circumstances and has the same reactions as any aspie, really.

The illusion that an aspie is more vulnerable is usually through the senses and the social environments.
Have an NT who goes through the same degree of struggling, they'd be just as vulnerable in reaction. :lol:

Heck have any stat of deviance into an environment of specific standards, one is prone to certain social circumstances and therefore vulnerabilities.


And in statistics of real life as a whole... "Normal" -- or "Average" is abnormal. :lol:
Unless you got one testicle, one enlarged breast... :lol: Just kidding.

Although that's technically the truth.

But in all seriousness, it's actually rare for a human to be not vulnerable, and are perfectly healthy -- physically, mentally and emotionally.
I never met a person who has no issues, no traumas or a past and whatsoever.


I only met people who has better regulation and managerial skills -- or people who endure abuse well.

NTs only had it easier because of regulation and lesser need for internal management -- unless they have to manage something else, or that regulation systems goes caput.


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Joe90
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09 Aug 2021, 3:31 am

Neurotypical means people who weren't born with a developmental disorder or disability (like autism, ADHD, downs syndrome, etc) or a severe mental health disorder (like bipolar, schizophrenia - people with anxiety/depression don't count as it is too common among the general population to be classified as non-neurotypical, also PTSD doesn't count either because that's usually caused by environment), and people with brain damage or brain diseases such as dementia.
Epilepsy, dyslexia, Tourette's - I don't know about those, you decide for yourself.


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JustFoundHere
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12 Aug 2021, 7:15 pm

NT-like people are most valued in reconciling, and finding commonalities with NTs and AS alike.

How many feel that developing friendships with NT-like people are reachable goals?



cyberdad
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12 Aug 2021, 7:18 pm

As a spokesperson for the NTs I can say (judging from the conversations I've had on WP) that there really isn't anything different in terms of how we all think.

I know some of you take longer to process information, social cues etc but beyond minor differences we basically are the same.



Joe90
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12 Aug 2021, 7:29 pm

cyberdad wrote:
As a spokesperson for the NTs I can say (judging from the conversations I've had on WP) that there really isn't anything different in terms of how we all think.

I know some of you take longer to process information, social cues etc but beyond minor differences we basically are the same.


Thank you, makes me feel human reading this. :)


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naturalplastic
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13 Aug 2021, 8:48 am

Jayo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Based on my observations I believe these Entees as you refer to them are our closest relatives out of all living ape species.

In fact the only discernible difference I see is that they seem to be more social. :nerdy:


Or that they are more "socially privileged".
The fallacy in that statement is that they are more equipped with the innate tools to be social with others, so they get more of the reward-response chemicals going as a result. The statement is akin to saying that non-dyslexics enjoy reading more. In other words, it transcends personality traits.


Distinction without a difference.