Do you ever fear change even when it’s good for you?

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I’m here simply to ask for some wisdom and advice from those more experienced.

I have been working as a software engineer at a transportation company in London for 9 months. I’ve subsequently interviewed and received an offer from a “better” company. However, I feel comfortable where I am, which causes me to want to reject the offer. The new company seems to be making the onboarding process especially tedious and painful, with a lot of intrusive questions being asked. This has been causing me a lot of distress, breaks downs etc…

I’m unsure if this discomfort and unwillingness to change (a very common feeling I have) are warranted or if this feeling is telling of something insidious about the company I’m being asked to join. Should I trust this feeling?

I know this is more on the theme of career advice, but I suspect what is going on here is linked to my autism and NTs may not be having a mental breakdown simply because of a job switch.

Thank you for reading so far and sorry for my spelling and grammar.

I get really stressed out from any kind of change, even if it's "good" change. If it greatly affects my routine it's even worse. I find it all really exhausting.

[opinion=mine]

Your feelings seem to be valid in this instance.  You are in a good place now, and the company trying to recruit you seems to want a person with excellent skills, but no emotional "baggage".  While their perspective may be understandable, if it is causing you stress now (when you are not their employee), the stress would likely be much worse if you were to work for them.

[/opinion]

Yep....I've been known to feel this way.

I don't mind change if it's good. In fact I sometimes crave change. I do get anxious if I'm not certain what to expect when I know a change will be happening, but believe it or not, NTs can feel this way too.

Change is disruptive even when it's positive, so yes.

I hate change. It tends to make me irritable and grumpy. I can adapt to change if I have to, but I would rather not.

This sometimes is to my detriment. I am long overdue for a career change. And now that I am finding I have to do it, I am pretty stressed about it in general, even though I know it is a good thing.

I don't fear change.
I dislike inconveniences that results from the change however.



In my current living condition and life in general?
I sought a lot of changes.

I wanna able to move around and travel. I want a check up so there are answers what the heck is going on. I want a new house and move elsewhere, see what I can do about that even if seem like a downgrade. I want a change of pace.

Yet I don't like being nagged by someone to remind me of said change. I don't like it if after said change there's little to go around right after; I would had to wait for years. I don't like it if after all the deliberation it just comes down to a misunderstanding or worse.

But I grew up with less offered options.

And the house I grew up in? It's relatively stagnant.
It's as if it's still on a weird pause since I was 8 or something -- that we have to rely and wait for a plan that does not ever happen.
I'm sick of it.

If I were constantly able and functioning... I'd make my own life out there and stop 'waiting'.



I want the change whether it's good for me or not.
But I may not able to handle the inconveniences and obstacles, nor have the means that leads to any real change.

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yes i like driving the bus on the same route each day and if im made to do another route i get upset
my boss is kind to me and puts me on my favourite route but when hes not there the other person puts me on different routes on purpose just to see me get angry

I only like change that’s is good for me, where I can do what I want.

I think the possibility of things not being comfortable is what upsets me. I am okay with change, but not with new expectations and having to learn all that stuff again about a new place. It is exhausting. If you are already not liking their expectations and questioning through the onboarding, there are likely other things you may not like. I always interview possible places about my concerns once offered a job or during the interview process itself. Its important that you feel the place is a good fit for you as much as they feel you are a good fit for them.

I'd say give that you found a place you feel good at, and the other isnt promising to work out for you, these people cant even understand whats happening to you, which tells of poor service that i usually dont experience in environments which are designed intelligently and function very well, at least from a customer perspective. Your concerns hold water.

I'm not sure im adequately equipped to know whether they are trying to break you down for the purpose of testing you (but Fnord I think has personal experience with actually hiring people), but you are not winning that test, therefore id imagine that the outcome of the actual job would be disastrous and unfit for you to deal with, manage.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side, especially once you got yours growing.

I think it would be good for you to tell them you are actually happy in your workplace, and the process for their job is very stressful to you and makes you doubt they are functional as a company and that they can offer you what you need. That might discourage them targeting people like you and people who work in the same company as you, I don't know why they do that and not focus on people who are jobless.

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