Should I try to date 'bad girls' in this sense?

Post Reply New Topic

Pornographic actress Jenna Jameson once commented that a lot of regular guys often say they'd love to be in a porno with her. Her response: "Prove you can handle it, get hard on command with cameras and lights and a bunch of people standing around watching and filming you.

Extreme example, but comparable. I envy men who can get instant erections on the spot for ANY woman under ANY circumstance. I'd make a terrible porn actor.

It's that I need a certain type of behavior but I feel I shouldn't need that, and that's shallow. So I want to conquer that flaw, and get aroused by her because I love her, nothing more, but is that possible?

"The penis wants what the penis wants."

That's true, but if the penis wants something shallow, should I try to correct it like therapy or something?

Then it isn't her, you have a paraphilia. They can be overcome with counseling.

Well it's really hard to see a counselor right now because of my job hours and they are so costly. Is there anything I can do with my gf in the mean time, until counseling becomes more of an option?

I am sure you can find some suggestions on-line for overcoming paraphilias. It mainly has to do with reconditioning yourself to different stimuli.

I can try that. What stimulis should I concentrate on? For example, it seems that most guys mainly concentrate on a woman's looks to do it for them, if that is correct?

Well I still say it would be best to talk to her about this.

Not sure, I agree with the whole its a big problem you need counseling for idea.

Well I just feel that if I tell my gf that if I have a 'madonna/w**** complex, that it will be worse for me, because if she knows that, that will make me more self conscious in my sexual performance and I would just be further jinxing myself sexually, if that makes sense?

I don't mean you should tell her that not sure you even have that(but I don't fully understand it). I meant tell her you get aroused better if she is more dominant in sex, see if she is willing to do that more regularly.

Idk, I had to tell my boyfriend that, and our sex improved as he was willing to do that. But yeah, admittedly not really sure what the solution would have been if he wasn't.

Well I did tell her I want her to be more dominant and she does it now the last few times. However, she does it in a way that I don't buy like she is putting on an act, but is not really meaning it. So I don't get turned on if I feel it's just an act, but am I being too nitpicky about that?

Perhaps so does seem a bit nitpicky, if its kind of new to her...then it will probably take some time to get more comfortable with it. So may require some patience, in the meantime you may have to use your imagination a little.

That's true. For example when I try to get her to dirty talk, she just burts out giggling, like she cannot say is straight, and that takes me out of it, just as an example. I've tried using my imagination but I feel guilty, because I have to picture someone more naughty than her then and it feels wrong to do that to get aroused then. Unless using my imagination like that is necessary at first and therefore okay?

Find an equally shallow vagina.

Are children in the cards?
If so, you need to get a wriggle on.
While you are not old, you aren't a spring chicken anymore, either.
Perhaps you need to organise your priorities in that regard rather than sexual self-fulfilment.

How about, you, me, ironpony and his attractive but non-arousing GF create a zoom conference while the sexual proceedings are taking place, and we can give some guidance?