How to attract women despite you have Aspergers

Page 2 of 5 [ 66 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 52,159
Location: Stendec

17 Aug 2021, 10:26 am

nick007 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
I'm starting to realize my lack of success is likely due to the fact that I'm a sucker for trendy "basic girls"...
... but if you lack what those girls are looking for, why bother with them in the first place?
Haven't you been on this forum enough by now Fnord to know that anything less than exactly what some people want & do not want would be considered settling to them.
By their logic, if I have a choice between $200 worth of platinum and $200 worth of gold, and I take the gold, then I am "settling" for something of lesser value.

:scratch: Huh?



Outsider85
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 183
Location: Wisconsin

17 Aug 2021, 4:44 pm

Those women look like they are shallow and want physical attraction.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 52,159
Location: Stendec

17 Aug 2021, 4:46 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
Those women look like they are shallow and want physical attraction.
How can you tell all that from just one picture?

Image

To me, they look like ten happy young women having a good time.



Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 993

17 Aug 2021, 5:38 pm

My first year at university, a female classmate said to me, "If you were a girl, everyone would call you an airhead."


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,809
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

18 Aug 2021, 3:55 am

Fnord wrote:
Outsider85 wrote:
Those women look like they are shallow and want physical attraction.
How can you tell all that from just one picture?

https://www.insidehook.com/wp-content/u ... 500%2C1000
To me, they look like ten happy young women having a good time.
I'd like to know where they live & the year that pic was taken before making any judgements.



Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
My first year at university, a female classmate said to me, "If you were a girl, everyone would call you an airhead."
I woulda responded saying something like "lots of women love the airheads candy so I should be very popular with the ladies" :mrgreen:


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"

~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"

~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


SportsGamer35728
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2015
Posts: 363
Location: Vice City

18 Aug 2021, 6:52 am

nick007 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Outsider85 wrote:
Those women look like they are shallow and want physical attraction.
How can you tell all that from just one picture?

https://www.insidehook.com/wp-content/u ... 500%2C1000
To me, they look like ten happy young women having a good time.
I'd like to know where they live & the year that pic was taken before making any judgements.



Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
My first year at university, a female classmate said to me, "If you were a girl, everyone would call you an airhead."
I woulda responded saying something like "lots of women love the airheads candy so I should be very popular with the ladies" :mrgreen:

Funny you mention that candy. I've long noted that my personality and that of the women I mostly find attractive can be summarized with two candies: Nerds and Airheads :lol:



Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,755

18 Aug 2021, 12:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
At first glance, these women look like real airheads......

What is an airhead? They have air in their heads?



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,428
Location: New York City (Queens)

18 Aug 2021, 12:27 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
My advice: Don't be annoying, keep (physically) clean, get education/experience in something you're passionate about, and put yourself in places frequented by other oddballs and nonconformists. Just my perspective, but I'm much happier this way.

I totally agree. Ever since my teens, it has always been self-evident to me that my most likely friends -- and my most likely more-than-friends -- would be fellow oddballs and nonconformists.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter (new as of 2021)


DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 598
Location: Dorset

19 Aug 2021, 1:31 pm

Develop traits that people find attractive:

Confidence
Kindness
Positivity
Resilience
Optimism
Curiosity

And if you tend towards traits that aren't attractive:

Low self-esteem
Meanness (intentional or unintentional)
Negativity
Pessimism
Closed-mindedness

then try to work out why you tend that way and do some work on yourself.

Everything else is superficial bs. Look around - you'll see literally millions of fat, skinny, ugly, poor, old, smelly, ignorant, lazy people who have all managed to find love (or at least a willing partner) in life. By all means work on your appearance and your 'eligibility', that'll help with confidence and resilience, but the people who will judge you solely by those criteria are not worth your effort.



Outsider85
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 183
Location: Wisconsin

20 Aug 2021, 6:14 am

Those girls in the picture look like the type that would turn their back on a guy who just says hi to them. My friend from High School was hanging out with me on the Fourth Of July this year. We were in the beer tent. Two girls with tank tops and jean shorts were getting drinks. My friend went over to say hi they said hi and then turned their backs on him. Before he went up to them, he was checking them out. I told him good taste, but out of our league. He still wanted to give it a try. I told him to go for it then.

A while later the girls were standing at a table. We walked over to sit down because the fireworks were going to start. I had a chair that I was going sit in that I brought with me. As we walked up to the table the girls went to the opposite side of the area.

Brats.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,208
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

20 Aug 2021, 6:16 am

Fnord wrote:
Outsider85 wrote:
Those women look like they are shallow and want physical attraction.
How can you tell all that from just one picture?

Image

To me, they look like ten happy young women having a good time.


I agree. I do know people who look like that and they're very nice. I'm on good terms with them, but we are not close friends because we don't have a lot in common

Also the good thing about never dressing like that is that young people won't call me cheugy now. I'm actually cool lol.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,208
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

20 Aug 2021, 6:18 am

DuckHairback wrote:
Develop traits that people find attractive:

Confidence
Kindness
Positivity
Resilience
Optimism
Curiosity

And if you tend towards traits that aren't attractive:

Low self-esteem
Meanness (intentional or unintentional)
Negativity
Pessimism
Closed-mindedness

then try to work out why you tend that way and do some work on yourself.

Everything else is superficial bs. Look around - you'll see literally millions of fat, skinny, ugly, poor, old, smelly, ignorant, lazy people who have all managed to find love (or at least a willing partner) in life. By all means work on your appearance and your 'eligibility', that'll help with confidence and resilience, but the people who will judge you solely by those criteria are not worth your effort.


This.

Resilience is a good one.



Muse933277
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 13 Mar 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 316

21 Aug 2021, 4:15 pm

Go for women within your "league". The fat anti-social neckbeard probably isn't dating the 10/10 sorority girl.



Muse933277
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 13 Mar 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 316

21 Aug 2021, 4:29 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
Those girls in the picture look like the type that would turn their back on a guy who just says hi to them. My friend from High School was hanging out with me on the Fourth Of July this year. We were in the beer tent. Two girls with tank tops and jean shorts were getting drinks. My friend went over to say hi they said hi and then turned their backs on him. Before he went up to them, he was checking them out. I told him good taste, but out of our league. He still wanted to give it a try. I told him to go for it then.

A while later the girls were standing at a table. We walked over to sit down because the fireworks were going to start. I had a chair that I was going sit in that I brought with me. As we walked up to the table the girls went to the opposite side of the area.

Brats.




This supports the theory that what is considered socially acceptable vs unacceptable is oftentimes determined by our overall feeling towards that said person.

Basically,

Hot guy talks to woman at a bar = flattering
Ugly guy talks to a woman at a bar = creepy


This is also why many attractive people are naturally more confident and extroverted (not always true but oftentimes true) It's because attractive people are less likely to be socially rejected because of their good looks, and as a result, naturally develop more confidence and better social skills. Being good looking also makes it easier to be seen as popular because good looking people have the halo effect on their side.



Of course, just because you're ugly doesn't mean you're completely screwed. There's plenty of average/ugly people who go on to get married and have a family.



Outsider85
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 183
Location: Wisconsin

21 Aug 2021, 4:50 pm

Something that those people need to realize. You can’t rely on your looks to get you through life. It takes skills. Skills come back more easily than looks.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 14,805
Location: I'm right here

21 Aug 2021, 5:09 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
Something that those people need to realize. You can’t rely on your looks to get you through life. It takes skills. Skills come back more easily than looks.


You've gotta be really good-looking to get by on just your looks. :mrgreen:


_________________
Be reasonable, demand the impossible.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う