What to do if a girl is taking longer and longer to reply?

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So there's a girl I like at work, but we work from home. She unfortunately has a boyfriend, but I feel like she at least used to like me by the way she used to talk and flirt with me all the time. We work from home so save for the occasional call all of our conversations are through messages.

I'm concerned because looking back at our conversations from last year, every one of her replies were posted within 5 minuets of mine and she used to always be the one to message me first.

Now I'm always the one to initiate the conversation, and she usually takes a day or two to reply.

Should I confront her about it? If not what should I do? If it carries on like this I feel like she will lose interest entirely..

She is already in a relationship with someone.

So unless she is poly or breaks up with her bf, there is really nothing to pursue.

Being friends is fine, but "confronting her" would likely damage the friendship.

She's under no obligation to reply at all.

The chances of her doing so promptly are inversely proportionate to how much you hassle her, IMHO.

If you want a friendship, be prepared to give your friends the time and space to be themselves.

This is my guess. Maybe she got more uncomfortable with you talking to her and trying to hit her up. After all, she does have a boyfriend and if she likes him, she's probably not comfortable hanging with other dudes all that much, especially if she feels like the guy is attracted to her.


Or maybe the boyfriend found out you two were texting and now she's distancing herself.

Do not confront her.  Ghost her instead.  Either someone or something else has a higher priority, or she is playing mind-games with you.  If the former, then the more attention you demand of her, the less likely she will respond, and ghosting her will do you both a favor.  If the latter, then she is not worth pursuing, and ghosting her will likely do you a favor, and provoke her into asking you what is wrong.

My guess is that the boyfriend may be the overly jealous type, and doesn’t like your crush/his partner having other opposite-sex friends.

This is why I avoid having opposite-sex friends who are in relationships, unless I am already friends with the boyfriend or husband.

Ghost her! Ghost her Ghost her!

Ghost her! Ghost her Ghost her!


/not duplicate, for confirmation!

1) She has a boyfriend. Leave her alone.

2) If you're always initiating the conversation, and she's taking longer and longer to reply, she's phasing you out and not interested.

“Hell, no” on the “should I confront her” question.

If you want to sustain positive relationships with people, you have to meet them where they are at. She may be busy and preoccupied, may be getting tired of the interactions, or cautious because of her boyfriend’s reactions; it doesn’t really matter, given she has a boyfriend and you aren’t going to be advancing a more personal relationship while she stays in that status. So… Just roll with it. Being willing to roll with someone else’s moods and needs is a highly attractive trait.

Following her cue, you should probably contact her less frequently than you used to.

Since she’s a coworker, ghosting would be stupid IMHO. And it’s rude and reeks of emotional immaturity. Just … never.

Ghost her! Ghost her!

Or at least stop initiating; if she never initiates then... well, life is give and take.