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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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22 Aug 2021, 6:37 am

So my child qualifies for a few titles, one of them is SPD.

Does anyone have an SPD that destroys bedroom furniture.

I don't mean with temper tantrums, I and referring to regular use.

He destroys bed frames and chest of drawers during regular use and I'm not going to buy bedroom furniture every year!

Any creative people have suggestions? :?:



timf
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22 Aug 2021, 7:05 am

I am not familiar with the term "SPD".

However, I had a daughter that was pretty destructive with books, furniture, tools, etc. She has gotten somewhat better in her 20s.

I suspect that such rough use provides a sort of tactile feedback that is seen as a sort of definitive control that is used to relieve anxiety.

I wish I knew then what I do now. I think I would have experimented with things like giving her an area to practice sculpting wood with a Dremel tool. I don't know if it would have provided a substitute sensation of control, but it might have been worth exploring.



magz
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22 Aug 2021, 7:55 am

What is SPD?
The first thing that comes to my mind is Shimano Pedaling Dynamics.
The first thing Google says is Sozialdemokratische Partei Deutschlands.
Neither fits the context.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2021, 8:26 am

Sensory Processing Disorder, I believe.



magz
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22 Aug 2021, 8:31 am

Anyway, do you mean your son is extraordinarily clumsy?
What damage can be observed?
In my case, I just accept less-than-vanilla state of things. I'm clumsy myself.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2021, 8:40 am

LOL…you asked, and I gave my answer :)

When somebody says “anyway,” it means the person thinks I’m detracting from the subject at hand, and is irritated by that. It’s a dismissive word.

But I know you didn’t mean it that way. And….now I’m REALLY detracting :P



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22 Aug 2021, 4:17 pm

My son was extremely hard on our home when young, and I think the sensory seeking / tactile theory is definitely part of it.

I’m pretty hard on things, too.

I took to purchasing for indestructibility rather than aesthetic. Over time you just kind of learn what to look for. And sometimes you pay as little as possible knowing that even quality wouldn’t last. There is always used stuff out there ready to be destroyed.

I don’t recommend trying to change the child. The way he is most likely serves a purpose, and I found that my child’s temperament and ability to stay focused for the important things improved greatly once I stopped caring about my stuff. Things are just stuff; it is people and their sanity that matters.

If bed frames can’t handle his use, try the mattress on the floor (lift, air out, rotate frequently; wonder if some kind of ventilating pad under it might work). If drawers can’t handle his use, try open shelving or fabric storage, etc. It might take a few tries to find the best solutions.


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22 Aug 2021, 4:25 pm

Proprioception is a sense people have, and when children with sensory issues have a problem with it they may be unintentionally rough with things. It can cause you to not recognize how much pressure/force to use when closing/opening things, using utensils, jumping into bed, etc. and people may break things by being unable to use proper restraint. Maybe you could search up proprioception and some ways on how to work on helping your child recognize the proper amount of pressure/force to use on things.



magz
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25 Aug 2021, 12:18 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
LOL…you asked, and I gave my answer :)

When somebody says “anyway,” it means the person thinks I’m detracting from the subject at hand, and is irritated by that. It’s a dismissive word.

But I know you didn’t mean it that way. And….now I’m REALLY detracting :P

My "anyway" was about what I wrote - your response was most welcome.

Back to the topic, I tend to buy second-hand or budget, heavy duty things, especially electronics - precisely because I know I'm clumsy and absent-minded and I feel real comfort when I don't need to tiptoe around things of everyday use.
As an example, this is my phone:
Image


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kraftiekortie
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25 Aug 2021, 1:18 pm

My father's second wife does not have a smartphone. She still uses a flip phone.

I don't even think she's clumsy at all, at least overtly. She's probably dyslexic, though.



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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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31 Aug 2021, 6:07 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
My son was extremely hard on our home when young, and I think the sensory seeking / tactile theory is definitely part of it.

I’m pretty hard on things, too.

I took to purchasing for indestructibility rather than aesthetic. Over time you just kind of learn what to look for. And sometimes you pay as little as possible knowing that even quality wouldn’t last. There is always used stuff out there ready to be destroyed.

I don’t recommend trying to change the child. The way he is most likely serves a purpose, and I found that my child’s temperament and ability to stay focused for the important things improved greatly once I stopped caring about my stuff. Things are just stuff; it is people and their sanity that matters.

If bed frames can’t handle his use, try the mattress on the floor (lift, air out, rotate frequently; wonder if some kind of ventilating pad under it might work). If drawers can’t handle his use, try open shelving or fabric storage, etc. It might take a few tries to find the best solutions.



It is a double edged sword for me as a single parent it's not feasible to stop worrying about stuff as I would be buying everything every few months and within a couple years we would be on the streets.

I am thinking about a rack of tubs much like the ones we used for toys when the kids were little.

His bed is on the floor as $300 in two years makes him ineligible for more bedframes and box springs.

Trying to work on this issue in a non shaming way is tuff but I don't think ignoring is a solution either.

I do think he either can't see or doesn't get bothered by the train wreck that is his room.

I can't judge too well based on my teenage years because I was high for my young life. :(