Celebrated Mom's 62nd Birthday, Yesterday

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The title says it all.. she died at 56 years of age... I was a Momma's "boy"... the youngest of two.

I was her caretaker, throughout my adolescence and the majority of my adulthood, until she'd succumbed to illness.

Hading watched her slowly die, helplessnessly.. months and months on end.. it through me into shock and the worst trauma of loss..

She's in peace now, at least I can take solace in that she no longer suffers.

But, I'm stuck here with the pain and the void forever, concerning her absence..

I miss her dearly.. last year, I somehow managed (in the beginning of the pandemic) to scrub her existance and birthday from my memory, to save me the yearly heartbreak and downward spiral, I'd usually go through..

As I had attempted to do the same this year.. She instead came into my life spiritually in dreams and during my traumas and moments of crisis of 2021, but of course, she wasn't there (and that realization of reality sank in deeply for me this year) I really needed her guidance, uplift in spirit, advice, comfort, and hugs that only mother's can give.. but to no avail; as she rots in the ground and her spirit has gone elsewhere..

I love you mom. I miss you.. I wish you were here; to hear the sound of your unique and contagious laughter.. my god.. you always knew how to turn my frown upside down.. Rest in peace.

Last edited by SandWitch on 22 Aug 2021, 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you don’t hate hugs, hugs. There isn’t anything to say, just hugs.

I love hugs! (I'm a hugger, but through trial and errors socially, I'm still learning not everyone is, as it comes of as "creepy", "weird" and "crossing boundries".. which I understand, so I'll ask someone their consent before go in for an embrace.

The onrs that appreciate me for me, they love my hugs and I'm often told I give the best ones (perhaps because they are always authentic and come from a place of true love and appreciation towards the other person that I share mine with.

And thank you! I will cherish the virtual one you've provided me!

Any time