I'm now seeing a therapist

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The reason they want to interview relatives, from what I am told, is that they want to get a different perspective of your behaviors and interactions. How we view ourselves is very different from how others view us, especially when looking back into our childhoods, and they may be able to assess something from that interview that they might not be able to get from us directly.

I haven't been assessed yet, but have been doing a lot of research on it just to alleviate my anxiety on it. I also am feeling a bit of dismay at the whole process, because there is a reason I managed to make it to adulthood without a diagnosis: My "Autistic traits" are not as obvious, and I have good masking skills. My ability to carry on a conversation and make eye contact doesn't mean I enjoy social settings, that I don't feel anxiety when talking to others, that I don't find the process of conversation difficult and awkward, or need to practice conversations in my head all the time both before and after the conversation takes place. Me being able to sit still in public is not proof that I don't have stims that come out in private, like rocking back and forth, leg bouncing (all the time, even in public), hand shaking, squeezing... etc. Some of my special interests do not seem that special, but I don't really like talking about other things, and if you let me talk about my interests (strange or not) I will go on and on about them. Even when it becomes clear that the conversation interest has passed.

So are my traits actually signs of Autism, or are they just quirks that are a combination of being introverted with a few other things besides?

All the unofficial tests that you can take (which usually tell you to seek a diagnosis) put me on the side of "Probably Autistic," but I am usually on the low end of that scale. So I may be wrong, and I worry that seeking a diagnosis is just going to be me going in to find out that there is no obvious explanation of my life's experience, even though I am here, reading other people's stories, and saying, "Yep, that is how I feel" or "Yep, that happens to me too." It is kinda like hoping that *finally* there is an explanation for all the years worth of confusion, and if you are not "Autistic enough" (on a spectrum disorder, that is kinda hilarious to consider) it still leaves you wondering what is wrong with you afterall...

I can relate to this frustration and anxiety about the assessment for diagnosis. It doesn't help at all that Autism focus has been so primarily on youth that they seem to have forgotten that some adults are autistic and need assessment or identification, and it is hard to find places that are qualified to do so.

Site won't let me edit on my phone

I specifically asked that they NOT contact my family...

So far, self-knowledge is pretty much all I have gotten from my diagnosis.
- I've shared it with my medical providers. It seems to be on the honor system, none have asked for written proof. But then, I don't think they've changed how they deal with me because of the diagnosis.
- I retired in 2011 and was not diagnosed until 2019 so impacts at work did not apply to me. But I'm sure they thought I was odd even without knowing the reason.
- I was diagnosed not too long before the Pandemic so I haven't even been able to explore social impacts. But I'm sure that most people who know me already think I'm sort of odd even without knowing the reason.
- I got to share my diagnosis with close family before the Pandemic. They already thought I was odd...their reaction to my diagnosis was to wonder if they might have Autistic traits, too. (I believe they are all Allistics, however.)

But I am still very glad I got the diagnosis. Because of the self-awareness. And--for me--a diagnosis that was not "official" or accurate would not have been desirable.

I'll note that the Psychologist who did my assessment did have some information about my early years:
- Copies of all my grade school report cards
- A few questions for my still-living Dad
- A journal my Mom kept for my first year
And I know the Psychologist looked closely at Mom's journal. But I don't know whether info about my early childhood helped with the Autism diagnosis, or just with the added caveat that I also met criteria associated with what was previously known as Asperger's Syndrome.

And while it may or may not be a consideration with you, in general we should remember that someone can have some Autistic traits without being Autistic. That can be true of high-end ADHD folk--which I clearly am not. That can also be true of Borderline Autism--and before I got my diagnosis I did wonder if I might be Almost Autistic.

For those diagnosed in adulthood, are any components of the diagnostic similar to these online Autism tests? I know the online tests can't be used for a diagnosis by themselves, but you know the ones I'm talking about. They ask a bunch of questions like "I prefer doing things alone rather than with others." On a scale of 1 to 5, you pick how much it applies to you. At the end, they tally the points and above a certain total score is Autistic range.

Was there a similar test in the official diagnostic process?

So, would you say the questions are more current-life, cumulative-life focused? Or was it a lot of childhood stuff?