Have you been stood up or reneged on?

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IN starting this discussion thread, I do not mean situations where somebody cancelled on you in advance with whatever excuse (from the flimsy to the credible and legitimate), but where they just didn't show, or didn't fulfill what they said they would, in a seemingly arbitrary fashion.

I'm wondering if this a frequency occurrence for folks on the spectrum like us? Like some people take us for granted due to perceived lack of options, or they just subconsciously think of us as "less-than"???

I can remember this happening a few times back in my early-mid 20s, before diagnosis at 27...and at least one time after that.

In at least one case, I realized it was passive-aggressive behaviour, but that was just my "fake friend's" personality type as I found out he was like that with others

This is what really got me: how could WE be regarded as the "socially deficient" ones, when (I believe) we'd at least have the common decency not to do this sort of thing???!
Speaking for myself, I've always been punctual or let people know if something came up - I can't recall every doing this to anyone, except two times where it was an honest oversight. Once in my teens, once at the age of 30.

It's hard to say, but maybe my experience (or yours) isn't something we can definitively take as a personal affront based on our differences; maybe it's just the other person.
A little story, a former friend whose mother was the superintendent at a block of apartments (that's flats for those in the UK) would clean up / prepare apartments for viewing for someone who'd made an appointment - then that person was "no call, no show". She was so justifiably upset when this happened, wondering WTF is wrong with some people.
So yeah... hard to tell whether a deal renege or no call / no show inaction is a micro-aggression towards us based on our makeup; it may just be a sh**ty person you're dealing with.

Yes and that happens to me a lot and it's so painful

Yes, lots of times; but I never gave up.  If one woman stood me up, I could always invite another one to go out.

Mr. Stood Up used to be my alter-ego....

It depends.


If it's a time and place I intend or would rather go, alone or not, I wouldn't care.
There are times I wish I get stood up while I go around my merry way around.

Or else, I'd just be pissed for wasting my time.
Or if didn't immediately told me they won't come to a place where I could do nothing without the other and not able to do anything else at the closest convenience right after.



As for others' lack of punctuality... Oh my.

Knowing the culture I live in, intolerance of one's unpunctuality or last minute change of plans is something I couldn't afford to have.
It is, in fact, explicitly something to be expected or even anticipated.

Therefore I do not have the same degree of frustrations.
Nor ever felt it is about being singled out with this occurrence by being in the spectrum.

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