I have become pretty much completely intolerable

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skibum
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26 Aug 2021, 12:04 pm

It's almost impossible for anyone to be around me now. I no longer have social stamina.


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HeroOfHyrule
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26 Aug 2021, 12:10 pm

I don't really interact with people much IRL because I don't have the energy to do it properly anymore. I find interacting online is easier, but still is not issue-free.



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26 Aug 2021, 12:12 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I don't really interact with people much IRL because I don't have the energy to do it properly anymore. I find interacting online is easier, but still is not issue-free.
I think so too. I understand what you mean.


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skibum
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26 Aug 2021, 12:14 pm

I don't think I ever in my entire life interacted properly according to nt standards


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26 Aug 2021, 12:16 pm

It has also become critical for every interaction I have to be centered around what I need to stay safe. So no one except for a handful of very specific people can interact with me anymore.


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Mountain Goat
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26 Aug 2021, 12:33 pm

1. It is ok to be unique and different.
2. Isolate yourself from watching or hearing the news.
3. Just live your life as you are able. No pressure to conform. Just be you, who God made you to be.


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skibum
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26 Aug 2021, 1:10 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
1. It is ok to be unique and different.
2. Isolate yourself from watching or hearing the news.
3. Just live your life as you are able. No pressure to conform. Just be you, who God made you to be.

:heart: Thank you

It's just so incredibly painful like all the time now


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Joe90
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26 Aug 2021, 3:17 pm

When I was aged between 18 and 23 I was very intolerable for my loved ones to be around me because I was unpredictable and would verbally explode. My emotions were too intense and I was too overexpressive.


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HeroOfHyrule
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26 Aug 2021, 3:23 pm

skibum wrote:
I don't think I ever in my entire life interacted properly according to nt standards

Even when I try my best to mask people still have issues tolerating me. I don't get how some autistic people can mask enough to upkeep relationships with NTs. :scratch:



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26 Aug 2021, 3:33 pm

Joe90 wrote:
When I was aged between 18 and 23 I was very intolerable for my loved ones to be around me because I was unpredictable and would verbally explode. My emotions were too intense and I was too overexpressive.
I can imagine that must have been so difficult for you. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Many people only think about those witnessing your struggle and how hard it is for them. People never imagine how difficult and painful it is for you.


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26 Aug 2021, 3:35 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
skibum wrote:
I don't think I ever in my entire life interacted properly according to nt standards

Even when I try my best to mask people still have issues tolerating me. I don't get how some autistic people can mask enough to upkeep relationships with NTs. :scratch:
it's so hard. Whenever I masked I was accused of and reprimanded for being fake. Whenever I was authentic I was bullied, abused, and rejected for being authentic


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IsabellaLinton
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26 Aug 2021, 3:39 pm

I don't interact with anyone outside of my family anymore. I've even made a conscious decision to stop professional services like massage or dental. It's just not worth it. I get so worked up by sensory / social overwhelm, I end up melting down before, during, or after my appointments. Then it takes me a week to recover. The older I get I realise I just can't be around people. It's not their fault or my fault. It just is what it is.

Online is soooo much better.

Sending hugs and support.



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26 Aug 2021, 3:57 pm

It feels a lot easier not talking to people. :oops:



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26 Aug 2021, 4:00 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't interact with anyone outside of my family anymore. I've even made a conscious decision to stop professional services like massage or dental. It's just not worth it. I get so worked up by sensory / social overwhelm, I end up melting down before, during, or after my appointments. Then it takes me a week to recover. The older I get I realise I just can't be around people. It's not their fault or my fault. It just is what it is.

Online is soooo much better.

Sending hugs and support.
You and I are so alike. Big hugs back. :heart:

I just don't always agree that it's not their fault. Sometimes it is. For example, if I politely ask my neighbors to not blast their stereos into my home and I explain my condition to them, they curse at me and blame me for trying to control them and then the literally turn it up or specifically park at my house.

A lot of times if I ask people to please respect my personal space because of my visual processing issue and they immediately challenge me saying that's BS and invade it even more, which happens quite a bit, or when I have to explain why I can no longer work and I get told that I am just making excuses to live so far below poverty because I just don't want to work, or when I literally get told that my youngest and most authentic personas will not be tolerated even though I have explained what they are and how vital to my survival they are, or when I ask for the most simple accommodations for sensory issues like having the light off in a bright room that is naturally perfectly lit and I get told no or when I ask if I can wait in a sensory safe place rather than in line and get told no but I watch the person in a wheelchair be allowed to be moved to a safer place for her to wait, or when my friends at Special Olympics with Downs or IDs are allowed to speck in a non clear manner but I am told that I will be punished if I can't articulate clearly verbally all the time, and it goes on and on... I think it is their fault.


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IsabellaLinton
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26 Aug 2021, 4:09 pm

I meant, in relation to my massage guy or my dentist it's not their fault. But society in general .... yes of course I can relate to what you're saying. I have neighbours from hell too, and others who know my issues but can't seem to make any accommodations. It's simple things like you mention -- lowering lights, turning off the bloody tv / radio, or giving me five seconds to think in conversations. I had to give up quite a few friends who insisted on phone calls instead of texts, and they insisted I wasn't being fair to "their" preferences. I told them that their preferences were fine, and they could prefer telephones all they want -- but I won't be part of it and I just won't communicate anymore.



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26 Aug 2021, 5:34 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I meant, in relation to my massage guy or my dentist it's not their fault. But society in general .... yes of course I can relate to what you're saying. I have neighbours from hell too, and others who know my issues but can't seem to make any accommodations. It's simple things like you mention -- lowering lights, turning off the bloody tv / radio, or giving me five seconds to think in conversations. I had to give up quite a few friends who insisted on phone calls instead of texts, and they insisted I wasn't being fair to "their" preferences. I told them that their preferences were fine, and they could prefer telephones all they want -- but I won't be part of it and I just won't communicate anymore.
Yes. I am right there with you. :heart:


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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph