IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't interact with anyone outside of my family anymore. I've even made a conscious decision to stop professional services like massage or dental. It's just not worth it. I get so worked up by sensory / social overwhelm, I end up melting down before, during, or after my appointments. Then it takes me a week to recover. The older I get I realise I just can't be around people. It's not their fault or my fault. It just is what it is.
Online is soooo much better.
Sending hugs and support.
You and I are so alike. Big hugs back.
I just don't always agree that it's not their fault. Sometimes it is. For example, if I politely ask my neighbors to not blast their stereos into my home and I explain my condition to them, they curse at me and blame me for trying to control them and then the literally turn it up or specifically park at my house.
A lot of times if I ask people to please respect my personal space because of my visual processing issue and they immediately challenge me saying that's BS and invade it even more, which happens quite a bit, or when I have to explain why I can no longer work and I get told that I am just making excuses to live so far below poverty because I just don't want to work, or when I literally get told that my youngest and most authentic personas will not be tolerated even though I have explained what they are and how vital to my survival they are, or when I ask for the most simple accommodations for sensory issues like having the light off in a bright room that is naturally perfectly lit and I get told no or when I ask if I can wait in a sensory safe place rather than in line and get told no but I watch the person in a wheelchair be allowed to be moved to a safer place for her to wait, or when my friends at Special Olympics with Downs or IDs are allowed to speck in a non clear manner but I am told that I will be punished if I can't articulate clearly verbally all the time, and it goes on and on... I think it is their fault.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph