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firemonkey
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01 Sep 2021, 1:02 pm

My situation- Pre teen IQ around 147, according to my father.Mediocre academic record i.e as many Cs as Bs. First saw pdoc a few months before I was 17,Autumn 1973. SMI dxes since 1975. Asperger's/ASD dx in May 2019. Significant intelligence >adaptive functioning gap. Never done paid work. Did a week of voluntary work with a local hospital library, had to stop because I wasn't coping with social interaction part of it. Was married, but friend count very low-at present 0. Never passed a driving test.



JustFoundHere
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01 Sep 2021, 3:40 pm

Minuteman wrote:
As somebody else mentioned, most people 35+ were diagnosed not in school, but later in life (I was 52). In the '70s, '80s and '90s, if you got good grades in school but were socially awkward, seldom spoke up in class and ate lunch by yourself, teachers would just assume you'll grow out of your shyness when you're ready. Only in the '00s did teachers understand that the problem may be much more than just shyness.

As a result there are probably millions of people 35+ with Aspergers/HFA that have never been diagnosed.

Oh yes, my experiences in the 1970s!

Please refocus this discussion thread based on previous posts on 'Page 1!'
Thank-you



PhosphorusDecree
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03 Sep 2021, 8:36 am

The "In-Depth Adult Life Discussion" sub-forum is not heavily used, which could give you the impression there's not many older people!


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Fnord
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03 Sep 2021, 9:00 am

Most of us older adults grew up without an official diagnosis, and without even knowing what "Asperger's Syndrome" is/was.  Thus, we developed our own coping mechanisms without all those "helpful" people telling us we were disabled/handicapped and therefore hopeless/useless.

If feel sad for people of the younger generations who have been made to feel less-than-human since they were diagnosed in childhood by being constantly reminded of the things they could not even hope to accomplish -- the same things that I accomplished without support from anyone!

So maybe us old folks are (allegedly) underrepresented because we have already done the things that others were told are impossible because of AS/ASDs.

Honestly, I think many children are indoctrinated into failure because their clueless parents, narrow-minded teachers, and other ignorant authority figure were "just trying to help".


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Last edited by Fnord on 03 Sep 2021, 9:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nades
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03 Sep 2021, 9:12 am

Fnord wrote:
Most of us older adults grew up without an official diagnosis, and without even knowing what "Asperger's Syndrome" is/was.  Thus, we developed our own coping mechanisms without all those "helpful" people telling us we were disabled/handicapped and therefore hopeless/useless.

If feel sad for people of the younger generations who have been made to feel less-than-human since they were diagnosed in childhood by being constantly reminded of the things they could not even hope to accomplish -- the same things that I accomplished without support from anyone!

So maybe us old folks are (allegedly) underrepresented because we have already done the things that others were told are impossible because of AS/ASDs.

Honestly, I think many children are indoctrinated into failure because their clueless parents, teachers, and other ignorant authority figure were "just trying to help".


Agreed. I can't help but feel I would rather be different but normal than autistic and not. My diagnosis came at a young age but by then I started trying to plough ahead anyway. I get the sense many diagnosed as a child cling to said diagnosis and it becomes an emotional crutch and hindrance to them in the long term. Being treated as NT by other NT's who are none the wiser seems to have its own perks.

Even without the diagnosis I knew I was very different and knew I was having sack full after sack full of lemons thrown at me and would be an isolated figure if I wanted to or not. Being childless and alone allowed me to make a big ass lemonade stand and I'm planning on more of them to come. It sucked being alone but I knew I could do what I wanted without my choices being impeded by someone else or money drained.



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03 Sep 2021, 9:18 am

Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Most of us older adults grew up without an official diagnosis, and without even knowing what "Asperger's Syndrome" is/was.  Thus, we developed our own coping mechanisms without all those "helpful" people telling us we were disabled/handicapped and therefore hopeless/useless.  If feel sad for people of the younger generations who have been made to feel less-than-human since they were diagnosed in childhood by being constantly reminded of the things they could not even hope to accomplish -- the same things that I accomplished without support from anyone!  So maybe us old folks are (allegedly) underrepresented because we have already done the things that others were told are impossible because of AS/ASDs.  Honestly, I think many children are indoctrinated into failure because their clueless parents, narrow-minded teachers, and other ignorant authority figure were "just trying to help".
Agreed.  I can't help but feel I would rather be different but normal than autistic and not.  My diagnosis came at a young age but by then I started trying to plough ahead anyway. I get the sense many diagnosed as a child cling to said diagnosis and it becomes an emotional crutch and hindrance to them in the long term.  Being treated as NT by other NT's who are none the wiser seems to have its own perks.
Of course, this is not to say that the "Sink or Swim" method of treatment would be beneficial for all people diagnosed with AS/ASD, but that "good intentions" alone are harmful without proper training and application.


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03 Sep 2021, 9:57 am

Fnord wrote:
Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Most of us older adults grew up without an official diagnosis, and without even knowing what "Asperger's Syndrome" is/was.  Thus, we developed our own coping mechanisms without all those "helpful" people telling us we were disabled/handicapped and therefore hopeless/useless.  If feel sad for people of the younger generations who have been made to feel less-than-human since they were diagnosed in childhood by being constantly reminded of the things they could not even hope to accomplish -- the same things that I accomplished without support from anyone!  So maybe us old folks are (allegedly) underrepresented because we have already done the things that others were told are impossible because of AS/ASDs.  Honestly, I think many children are indoctrinated into failure because their clueless parents, narrow-minded teachers, and other ignorant authority figure were "just trying to help".
Agreed.  I can't help but feel I would rather be different but normal than autistic and not.  My diagnosis came at a young age but by then I started trying to plough ahead anyway. I get the sense many diagnosed as a child cling to said diagnosis and it becomes an emotional crutch and hindrance to them in the long term.  Being treated as NT by other NT's who are none the wiser seems to have its own perks.
Of course, this is not to say that the "Sink or Swim" method of treatment would be beneficial for all people diagnosed with AS/ASD, but that "good intentions" alone are harmful without proper training and application.


Sink or swim will never work with ASD. Treating them the same as everyone else and giving them a carrot from time to time, along with an occasional stick helps a lot. Appeasing autism at any costs only turns people with ASD into grown manchilds that might as well poop in nappies.

I feel that autism has actually helped me in the grand scheme of things. You probably know I'm a landlord and for some reason houses became a special interest of mine all of a sudden in early 2011. Being a socially dimwitted moron I also have little in the way of a social life and no kids or girlfriends during that period of my life until now. Being a guy that just can't say no to my manager because autism always tells me to appease everyone I'm also heavily overworked.

I ended up spending almost nothing living with mummy dearest in my box bedroom while racking up overtime. I live in an area where houses are cheap so I just bought one and that house lead to others and I feel with a wife and kids it would have been a hell of a lot harder to do.

This is in stark contrast to my social butterfly, nearly entered miss nation but couldn't stand the thots friend who I like to lock horns with from time to time. Like I implied, she's was top of her game a decade ago but has always suffered mental health problems despite her looks which especially in her late teens and early 20s were beyond stunning. She's just drifted through life since and being an avid socialist hates me buying houses. She's by no means a sorry figure but is not better off than anyone with autism seeing how depressed she seems to be. I feel learned helplessness is what is causing a lot of her problems after she became aware of her mental health problems. Sort of similar to what an autism diagnosis can do to aspies.



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03 Sep 2021, 9:59 am

Fnord wrote:
Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Most of us older adults grew up without an official diagnosis, and without even knowing what "Asperger's Syndrome" is/was.  Thus, we developed our own coping mechanisms without all those "helpful" people telling us we were disabled/handicapped and therefore hopeless/useless.  If feel sad for people of the younger generations who have been made to feel less-than-human since they were diagnosed in childhood by being constantly reminded of the things they could not even hope to accomplish -- the same things that I accomplished without support from anyone!  So maybe us old folks are (allegedly) underrepresented because we have already done the things that others were told are impossible because of AS/ASDs.  Honestly, I think many children are indoctrinated into failure because their clueless parents, narrow-minded teachers, and other ignorant authority figure were "just trying to help".
Agreed.  I can't help but feel I would rather be different but normal than autistic and not.  My diagnosis came at a young age but by then I started trying to plough ahead anyway. I get the sense many diagnosed as a child cling to said diagnosis and it becomes an emotional crutch and hindrance to them in the long term.  Being treated as NT by other NT's who are none the wiser seems to have its own perks.
Of course, this is not to say that the "Sink or Swim" method of treatment would be beneficial for all people diagnosed with AS/ASD, but that "good intentions" alone are harmful without proper training and application.
I think a bigger problem than lack of diagnosis is misdiagnosis - so when problems arise, you get treatment for something you don't have instead of accommodations for your real difficulties.
Maybe just my personal experience but that's how I see it.


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03 Sep 2021, 10:07 am

magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Most of us older adults grew up without an official diagnosis, and without even knowing what "Asperger's Syndrome" is/was.  Thus, we developed our own coping mechanisms without all those "helpful" people telling us we were disabled/handicapped and therefore hopeless/useless.  I feel sad for people of the younger generations who have been made to feel less-than-human since they were diagnosed in childhood by being constantly reminded of the things they could not even hope to accomplish -- the same things that I accomplished without support from anyone!  So maybe us old folks are (allegedly) underrepresented because we have already done the things that others were told are impossible because of AS/ASDs.  Honestly, I think many children are indoctrinated into failure because their clueless parents, narrow-minded teachers, and other ignorant authority figure were "just trying to help".
Agreed.  I can't help but feel I would rather be different but normal than autistic and not.  My diagnosis came at a young age but by then I started trying to plough ahead anyway. I get the sense many diagnosed as a child cling to said diagnosis and it becomes an emotional crutch and hindrance to them in the long term.  Being treated as NT by other NT's who are none the wiser seems to have its own perks.
Of course, this is not to say that the "Sink or Swim" method of treatment would be beneficial for all people diagnosed with AS/ASD, but that "good intentions" alone are harmful without proper training and application.
I think a bigger problem than lack of diagnosis is misdiagnosis - so when problems arise, you get treatment for something you don't have instead of accommodations for your real difficulties.  Maybe just my personal experience but that's how I see it.
On a Venn Diagram, the two situations -- misdiagnosis and clueless intentions -- would likely have significant overlap.


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03 Sep 2021, 10:48 am

There used to be lot of young aspies here, even lot of minors but times have changed. I am over the age of 35 but I was diagnosed when I was 12. So I never got to experience what aspies experience as adults when they discover they may have it.


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03 Sep 2021, 10:52 am

League_Girl wrote:
There used to be lot of young aspies here, even lot of minors but times have changed...
Are you implying that young people do not remain young forever?

:wink:

This website has been running long enough for its youngest members at the time it was created to have become adults.


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03 Sep 2021, 3:31 pm

PhosphorusDecree wrote:
The "In-Depth Adult Life Discussion" sub-forum is not heavily used, which could give you the impression there's not many older people!


Good point that the "In-Depth Adult Life Discussion" sub-forum is not an active forum - hence the impression that in-depth adult issue are under-represented.

With WP in general, in-depth discussions concerning those complex adult issues are again, under-represented. Just look at the 'Active Discussions' listings on the main WP page - it's rare to find active discussions of interest with older WP members.

Another WP discussion thread (LINK) 'Adult Concerns (Age 45 And Older) Needs Reassessment!' has been established. In order to reduce confusion, please consider follow-up discussion in this discussion thread:

LINK: viewtopic.php?t=399713



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03 Sep 2021, 3:51 pm

We do not need a new thread on the same topic; we need wiser posts from those already using this one.


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03 Sep 2021, 3:55 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
PhosphorusDecree wrote:
The "In-Depth Adult Life Discussion" sub-forum is not heavily used, which could give you the impression there's not many older people!


Good point that the "In-Depth Adult Life Discussion" sub-forum is not an active forum - hence the impression that in-depth adult issue are under-represented.

With WP in general, in-depth discussions concerning those complex adult issues are again, under-represented. Just look at the 'Active Discussions' listings on the main WP page - it's rare to find active discussions of interest with older WP members.

Another WP discussion thread (LINK) 'Adult Concerns (Age 45 And Older) Needs Reassessment!' has been established. In order to reduce confusion, please consider follow-up discussion in this discussion thread:

LINK: viewtopic.php?t=399713

Most of the active posts are just political threads. I think every single other type of topic is severely underrepresented.



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03 Sep 2021, 6:23 pm

Fnord wrote:
We do not need a new thread on the same topic; we need wiser posts from those already using this one.


One discussion thread lists the minimum age of 35. The other discussion thread lists a minimum age of 45. People change between age 35 and age 45.

Both threads have their places!



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04 Sep 2021, 7:56 am

JustFoundHere wrote:
Fnord wrote:
We do not need a new thread on the same topic; we need wiser posts from those already using this one.


One discussion thread lists the minimum age of 35. The other discussion thread lists a minimum age of 45. People change between age 35 and age 45.

Both threads have their places!

I think I'm with Fnord.
I can see the need to distinguish between toddlers, children, teens, adults and perhaps retired. But not between 35s and 45s.

/Mats


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