Do I even WANT to have "close" friends anymore?

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dirac
Emu Egg
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Joined: 15 Aug 2021
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 7
Location: United States

15 Sep 2021, 6:00 am

I have also sort of given up on having friends. To be honest, if my job and living situation are stable and comfortable, then I don't really want many friends. I am perfectly content to just do my work and pursue my interests, and I enjoy life.

However I occasionally have periods when I feel isolated. I don't need much interpersonal contact, but I do need some contact. It is unfortunate that I often don't realize this until something goes wrong in my life, and then I am struggling with something alone and I wish I had a friend. On the other hand that feels one-sided of me, because why would someone want to be my friend if I only want to be closer to them when I am in a time of need?

I agree with what Mona Pereth said for myself:

Mona Pereth wrote:
Nevertheless I have always felt that it is important for me to have friends -- and to have an alternative extended family / mutual support network.

I have to remind myself of this constantly. Having friends to me is like an investment for the future. This seems a bit odd somehow, to think about my relationships in this strategic way. But when I reflect on some of the more socially adept "NT type" people that I know, many of them seem to be quite strategic in most of their human interactions. However, I definitely don't want to just use people as a resource. Ideally I would genuinely connect with people, but I would also think of the friendship as a source of mutual support for both of us in future situations that might come up.


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